Would you be offended by this message?

I don't like to talk on the phone unless l'm in the mood. All my friends know this. If you call out of the blue l won't answer. If you leave a message l won't listen to it.

I get it OP I have ADHD and hating phone calls is quite a common feature of this condition. My phone is always on silent, I only look at it and respond to messages when I feel like it. If someone has called me I text them saying 'sorry I missed your call what's up?' It wouldn't even occur to me to call them back because I hate to chat on the phone.

Do you meet face to face ? If not, even occasionally, I don’t think I could be bothered with a text only friendship. I don’t phone my friends that often and do text but we also do see each other in real life sometimes.

I much prefer communicating by Text. My sons, my DILs, my friends. Work colleagues. That's what we all seem to do. In fact if my phone rings and its one of my family or close friends, I worry something bad must have happened!!

Could you arrange a time to call her instead? You could put a time limit on the call. Or if phone calls are out altogether, can you arrange to meet up? It's hard to maintain friendships if one person won't do their bit, and it sounds like you value this friend, so even if it's a half an hour to have a coffee and a chat, it sounds like it's worth the effort.

I can empathise with B. I don't like calls either and I've got a friend who tries to bloody FaceTime me when I'm in bed or at other inappropriate times.

Just text me fgs. I like to read the message, have a brief think about it then respond.

It's not rude. It was rude to ignore the person's preferences and call anyway.

I don’t do phone calls at all. Not rude in the slightest.

No.
I hate them too. I just want to have a quiet evening after DD is down. Possibly shower, watch Netflix with DH. I don’t want to speak on the phone. If something bad has happened then I would obviously talk.

I'd say good for B for sticking to their boundaries. I hate phone calls and avoid them at all costs. I have ADHD so do have social interaction difficulties which doesn't help. I much prefer text, email, pigeon post - anything rather than phone calls unless necessary.

No I wouldn't I don't like talking on the phone I suppose it's a phobia and I don't know where it stemmed from but I don't even like to talk to family on the phone

It’s fine.

if I was person A I would be so embarrassed that I had made a social mistake though and been pushy. But I don’t think I’d ever have sent that message once I’d heard that someone doesn’t want to speak on the phone anyway so….

I also can’t cope with phone calls in the evening. Far too tired. Have kids. Just need evening peace!

I don’t like phone calls, it’s just the way I am. I’ll talk to very close family as we live so far apart. My friends know that if I randomly call them the. Sometime is very wrong.

It’s fine, I sometimes prefer a phone call as opposed to endless messaging but my younger friends seem to want to message more. I can find it a bit intrusive having a message sitting there. So i can see both sides. Also sometimes it’s hard to talk with the amount of people in the house and doing stuff whereas you can message at your leisure.
if she wants to talk because she doesn’t like drawn out messaging or could struggle with writing a lot, can you suggest a face to face meet?

No not rude.

I mean, I don't do semaphore no matter how many times I'm asked. I don't see it as a red flag.

There are 6 people in the world that I am ok taking phone calls off. My husband, my kids and my sisters. That's it. I HATE taking on the phone, that five minute build up of actually waiting for the call would make me literally sick with anxiety. What are you calling about that you can't put in a text or wait until I see you next?

I would generally make time to chat with a friend or call back when it was more convenient for me.
However A sounds a bit needy and isn't picking up on the fact that B dislikes phone calls.
So even though I'm different to B, I can understand their point and don't think they've been rude. They've had to point out how they feel, as A wasn't getting it otherwise!

Not rude. She's having to be really direct though because A doesn't seem to get the message that she simply doesn't want to talk on the phone.

A should actually take heed. A wouldn't be good on the phone either because she doesn't listen.

I don't like chatting on phone either.

I don’t think it’s rude but I’d suspect the friendship has limited legs.

Exactly, this. B has clearly and politely set a personal boundary and A is continuing to behave as though it doesn’t apply to them. Shame on A.

I don’t like phone calls either, I prefer voice notes where things come to a more natural end, otherwise it can be hard to get people off the phone and after a hard day at work and commuting I need space

I get awful anxiety with phone calls. Just text me

She has told you several times she doesn't do phone calls. Respect that

I don’t think it’s rude. I don’t do texts to catch up. I will respond to a message if information is needed from me (I.e, what time are we meeting, when is the hotel booked for) but will not text respond to general texts to see how I’m doing.

It’s calls only to catch up, or we get a date in the diary to meet up properly in person. Can’t stand the overwhelming feeling that constantly being messaged and the expectation to respond gives.

I think she's trying to say something awkward in as pleasant a way as she can.

It's horrible when you have to keep telling someone something when you know they perceive it differently to you. I feel like it's probably more rude to force the issue and keep calling when someone said they prefer to message. I'm sure it's not intended that way, but might be easier to just stick to messaging

A needs to back off.

B has boundaries, good for them.