Would you be offended by this message?

I'vedragged myself kicking and screaming into the 18th century got into WhatsApp lately, it's so versatile being able to send photos and updates, whereas texts now seem a bit dull by comparison. I don't do Facebook, Insta etc it sends my head into a spin, I don't need 700 friends but WhatsApp is the best of all worlds.

And I get stupidly excited when I open my phone to see a WhatsApp notification squeeee!

I am person B! I really don’t like phone calls, even from family. I will happily text or voice note all night but I dread the phone ringing! I had to explain this to a new friend also who I would see all day at work and who would ring me in the evenings or weekends for a chat. It’s too much for me so I sympathise with OP x

No not rude and a friend would understand this.

I was just thinking the same. What on earth has gone wrong with people that they are incapable of having a phone conversation? - and the number of posters who seem to think it's fine is staggering. I'm sure it's a MN thing and I'm beginning to think I really don't belong here but should stay in the real world where people answer the door and talk on the phone. How can talking to someone on the phone be hard work?

What about friend A's needs and/or preferences?

She can exercise her preference by choosing a different friend. OP has made her feelings clear.

This is me and my brother. He insists on ringing and talking and I find it draining. He could make the arrangement in two texts but he wants to discuss the arrangements in a phone call every time. 😡

I feel you B...im B too!

What about friend A's needs and/or preferences? I get it if friend A is draining and chats for ages, regularly etc. In that case then it's different but OP didn't say that was the case. OP said that the issue is with her (Friend B) rather than with friend A.

So what if Friend A really needs a friend right now? Friendships are a two way street. No, we don't have^^ to go out of our way for anyone but just sometimes, a decent friend goes a little out of their comfort zone as it makes a huuge difference to a friend who needs a chat.
Like I said, not frequently but this sounds like it was just one chat which friend A attempted to have on two separate occasions, rather than wanting to chat two days in a row

^this.

I hate phone calls, especially long surprise ones at ds bedtime or afterwards when I just want to sit on the sofa for an hour with dh. I think you've been honest about your boundaries and the other person needs to respect it.

Person B obviously doesn't think much of person A

Yeah that's a brush off. Why on earth^^ would talking to friends or family on the phone cause stress? I struggle with anxiety making calls to companies etc but not my bloody friends or family. Self-absorbed, sorry

I love my closest friend to bits but honestly my heart sinks when my phone rings, because it always stops me from what I'm doing or worse, when I have a precious few minutes to relax. Phone calls take a lot of mental energy for me, I would far far rather text.

I talk to horrible people on the phone for the majority of the day. The last thing I want when I get in is to chat one the phone.

I find it awkward and also I don't enjoy it.

Messaging is much better for me.

A needs to bugger off. I'd have blocked her by now. I bet she'll start sending WhatsApp voice messages next.

No, I think that's B being honest, and A needs to get the message.

I don't think it's a cop out but I think it's a much more superficial interaction. Personally I don't value texting other than for specific pieces of info ("I'm running late, be there in 10", "Let meet the costa by the bus station at 11" kind of thing). It's pants for anything more deep, heart to heart, complicated - the kind of things which allow people to really connect and bond.

Exactly. Speaking on the phone is much better than pressing buttons. You get to hear the voice and the tone.
Texting is a cop out.

A is very rude. B is not rude at all.

I don’t think you were rude, you’ve told her before that you don’t like doing calls and the last message was polite but explained again.

No I don't think it's rude, it's clear and compassionate. Nobody is obliged to pick up a ringing phone. I'd appreciate the clarity if I got that and I'd also completely understand it. I think it uses a different part of your brain, texting can be reflective, phone calls less so

I’ve felt like you during very stressful times. I really get it. Sometimes I can’t even construct a text message.

Theres a lot to get done in an evening for a regular working person without caring responsibilities so I don’t really get how people in this day and age still expect to be able to phone someone on a whim for a chat! I would never assume anyone is just lazing around ready to take my phone call.

Well surely that’s up to them? No one owes anyone a conversation.

@StockpotSoup
Thanks for the mini lecture on communication. My point was that many people now ‘set boundaries” and simply don’t speak or hold a conversation.

I think different things just work for different people. It would not work for me to text someone and only properly connect once a year but if that works for both you and your best friend then clearly there's nothing wrong with that. It sounds like, even if A is someone who would find that a bit superficial and disconnected, that's not the only way you're connecting anyway. Either way she needs to accept that you don't want to talk on the phone and decide whether she wants to continue the friendship or not. She should not pressurise you to do something which does not work for you. You're allowed your own boundaries.