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AIBU?

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Original poster

One night stands/casual sex

189 replies

champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 22:52

Both my husband and myself have only ever been with each other sexually. I have dated in the past and so has he but very short "relationships" I mean a date or two here and there, none of which lead to sex or anything close.

We met in our early 20's and have been together 15 years we have two young children.

Is it common for two people in their 30's to have never have had a sexual relationship with anyone else, we do not come from religious backgrounds or anything like that.

I see people out having casual sex and one night stands and just wonder why? What is the point? Surely you'd get as much sexual pleasure at home with a sex toy as you would from another person? We have an amazing sex life and relationship and and don't feel like we missed out on anything by not having other sexual relationships.

OP posts:
bettingpencil · 11/04/2024 23:10

champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 23:04

It's quite nice though isn't it? Sounds a tad smug but I also feel like our relationship is quite special when you look at how casual putting your genitalia into another person has become.

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why do you think there should be a virtue placed on where your genitalia have been? It doesn't make you a better, kinder, smarter or more loving person because you've only had sex with one individual in your entire life.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 11/04/2024 23:09

@Kitkat1523 it's very shortsighted and faux naive , "I can't possibly imagine why people enjoy something I've never tried....." 🙄

Haydenn · 11/04/2024 23:08

You sound quite judgmental to be honest. You don’t sound like you genuinely want to understand anything here

SocksAndTheCity · 11/04/2024 23:08

champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 23:04

It's quite nice though isn't it? Sounds a tad smug but I also feel like our relationship is quite special when you look at how casual putting your genitalia into another person has become.

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Jumped the shark pretty early on there, OP.

Floatinginatincan · 11/04/2024 23:08

You don't understand that different people enjoy different things & experiences?. Sure sex within a relationship can be great. It can also be great to have a sexual connection with a stranger or casual acquaintance and just go for it based purely on being extremely horny and turned on.

Nicetobenice67 · 11/04/2024 23:08

The excitement the buzz the sex is different in that situation you wouldn’t know as you have never done it …everyone to there own don’t judge personally been there done that and enjoyed every bloody minute

Kitkat1523 · 11/04/2024 23:07

Very judgy OP …. Such a smug post 🙄

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 11/04/2024 23:05

The flirt, the chemistry, the anticipation, the adrenaline, sex is also different with different people, new experiences, new tricks. Dating with sex, one night stands, fwb etc can be an awful lot of fun.
You sound quite judgemental in your tone.

Original poster
champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 23:04

VeryBusyDoingNothing · 11/04/2024 23:01

I'm one of those people OP. Together since 16, now 38, only sexual partners. I do wonder sometimes if I've missed out, although I can't say I would believe there is any comparison to a toy, I think there would be a huge difference. I have no plans to change my current situation. I do think it's natural to wonder what if though!

It's quite nice though isn't it? Sounds a tad smug but I also feel like our relationship is quite special when you look at how casual putting your genitalia into another person has become.

OP posts:
Original poster
champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 23:02

greyandbluewool · 11/04/2024 23:00

Well, the question is why do you think it's important whether it's common or not?
There's no better or worse here, though I'd say being knowledgeable about the possible health risks of sex with many people would be my only criteria.

Just wondering if there's many other couples like this out there. Most of our friends have been with tons of other people.

OP posts:
VeryBusyDoingNothing · 11/04/2024 23:01

I'm one of those people OP. Together since 16, now 38, only sexual partners. I do wonder sometimes if I've missed out, although I can't say I would believe there is any comparison to a toy, I think there would be a huge difference. I have no plans to change my current situation. I do think it's natural to wonder what if though!

Original poster
champagnedrunk · 11/04/2024 23:01

SocksAndTheCity · 11/04/2024 22:57

You wonder why because you haven't done it, so you don't know what it's like or how much fun it can be.

If you don't plan to then I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but if you genuinely think that interacting with another person is the same as using a sex toy then that's pretty pitiful, and I'd hate to go to my grave believing that.

Edited

It's just the thought and idea of being with anyone who isn't my dh makes me feel a bit sick and can't understand why anyone would want to have multiple partners

OP posts:
greyandbluewool · 11/04/2024 23:00

Well, the question is why do you think it's important whether it's common or not?
There's no better or worse here, though I'd say being knowledgeable about the possible health risks of sex with many people would be my only criteria.

SocksAndTheCity · 11/04/2024 22:57

You wonder why because you haven't done it, so you don't know what it's like or how much fun it can be.

If you don't plan to then I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but if you genuinely think that interacting with another person is the same as using a sex toy then that's pretty pitiful, and I'd hate to go to my grave believing that.