One night stands/casual sex

I've only had 3 partners and I've been with DH over 20 years. He's only ever been with me (we met as teenagers). Having had the limited experience that I he had I think it's best when you know each other well and what you both like. But I don't care what other people do, just don't feel I've missed much.

Edited to add that the replies here from more experienced people have made me look a this a bit differently and see the advantages of more varied experiences. Not going to open my relationship or spilt up to explore, but it's interesting.

There is nothing special about your relationship or about you judging people for their choices.

I've had my share of having genitalia being dipped in me and while some were disappointing in the whole I've bloody enjoyed it.
I'd love to hear your feedback OP.
...OP?

I don't know a single person who got together in their 20s who have only slept with one person.

I know one couple who have been together since they were 14 and they have been together ever since, but they were young teenagers, not in their 20s.

You feel like this because you have never had a one night stand.
Yes there are some lovely benefits for being with the same person, i.e they know what you like, however, there are some benefits to multiple partners too.

I found that sex with different partners can bring lots of different sexual experiences, things that your partner does not do, can do things you wouldn't necessarily want to do with your partner. It can be quite liberating.

A lot of people don't just see sex as a 'love' act, it can be a form of experimentation and simply just 'fun' too.

I think it all depends on your individual wants and confidence.

It's lovely that you have only been with your partner, but personally I have had a great time 'experimenting' when I was younger which I will never regret.

You sound like a right dick tbh.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Op you do come across as very smug as though you think this makes you better somehow. It doesn't. I think you need to expand your thinking a bit.

I wouldn't buy a household appliance without doing hours of research. I wouldn't want to choose a human I was going to spend the rest of my life with ,and trust and confide in beyond anyone else, without doing a little bit of research.

Get off your phone and do your homework, OP. Only one day of school holidays left.

Everyone else, this is not a genuine poster so don’t share your wisdom/thoughts/experiences.

CBA to read the whole smug judgemental thread but will say this : if you think a sex toy is "the same" as having sex in terms of pleasure, your husband is shit in bed.
Hth.

What an utterly pointless post.

Or a lifetime of wondering what it would be like with someone else so wondering if your partner ever thinks that….

Honestly, I enjoyed my 'escapades'... but if I had a do-over, I'd have just the one. Love and sex lose something when they're 'pluralised'. That one person, first love, 100% only for each other feeling is unrivalled. To know there are no competing feelings, experiences, sensations...
How many times do people look at their partner and wonder whether they've just settled, whether their ex was better, whether their heart is all in it... then you remember (more often than not) how intense that very first love was... imagine a whole lifetime of that, if it had worked out with that person.

You met the person you thought was ' your person' early on in life and I hope you both always feel that way. My friend and her husband were virgins when they met at teacher training college. They married a year after we graduated and had 2 children. Then he had a crisis that she was the only person he had ever had sex with and he left. They have been divorced for years now . Lots of us have shortish unions with other people because that person turns out to not be who you thought they were, jobs/ geography get in the way and something that might have been ' the one' fizzles out. I've never had an actual one night stand but there were very very short relationships that really should have been one night and goodbye.You sound a tiny bit smug tbh. Life isn't always linear and tidy. Some people need to kiss a lot of frogs before they find true Prince. Some people (me) need to divorce the first Prince before they find their 'one for life'.

What a strange post.

I hate to say it but I wouldn’t count your chickens just yet. No one knows what’s around the corner or what’s going to happen in the future.

People have affairs all the time for various reasons. There is a reason the vast majority of people don’t stay with their first love.

In all honesty when I hear of younger couples getting married to their childhood sweetheart I think hmmm I bet that won’t last because statistically they don’t last because people change and then fall out of love and want to experience things with other people. Like a disaster waiting to happen in the future. Temptation is too much.

Before I met my husband I’d had two casual encounters and one serious relationship. The casual encounters were a bit crap. Sex with my husband is not. I don’t judge others for wanting casual sex, everyone’s different. In return I expect not to be judged for not wanting it.

🙄 Maybe work on trying not to be such a judgemental puritan.

You sound delightful OP.

So you aren’t curious about why, you just want to slut shame other people, and feel superior.

This is all very unattractive and full of nonsense anyway, but in an era when Andrew Tate is encouraging young men to judge young women by their ‘body count’, it’s vile.

But in answer to your original question, casual sex done the right way by the right person is joyful, it’s a great way to understand yourself and other people and to have some very intense physical and psychological experiences. I’ve glad I did that for a few years, I care not a jot whether other people have or not.

😆 you sound like a treat

I’ve had some perfectly nice people pop their genitalia in mine, in a perfectly pleasant way. And I’ve met some delightful people who I’ve allowed to pop their genitals into mine, and it’s been somewhat of a disappointment. And there has been the odd person, who started out very charming and was incredibly talented at genital dancing, but couldn’t get their act together enough to wash their own bloody pants or pay a parking ticket on time… at that point, I lost all interest in their genitals.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, I find the person I chose to marry ‘quite special’ (bleurgh) because I’m able to compare him to (some) others and I have a vague idea about what I may, or may not be, missing out on.

But, different strokes and all that, it’s lovely that you feel smug and special.

Wouldn’t you mention that though (referring to the other thread). Saying you’ve been married for three years gives the impression the relationship is still in its first flushes.

This really tickled me.

I love the idea of a one night stand escalating a bit… I have images of you both looking around 20 years later saying “hang on a minute” in a bemused way… like when you wake up with a cracking hangover when you were only staying for one drink!

I hope you don’t have children who will be exposed to your judgment and criticism of their life choices if they differ from yours.