Today's telling off from DH

If that was my husband I would have told him to get to fuck so many times already. He sounds like a proper whinger.

Sorry OP but this sounds similar to what signalled the beginning of the end for my marriage. I couldn't do anything for fear of being ticked off or rebuked for it.

Nailed it

No you need to tell him to stop this stuff, your working you can't be expected to drop everything to answer his texts. You can stack the cups however you like and you can go to the office if you need too.

Tell him if he keeps knocking your self esteem, your off see how he likes that....

Honestly, I would go around the house before I left for errands, appointments, etc, and think of things like stacking the dishwasher wrong, not shutting the curtains properly, putting the milk on the wrong side of the fridge, a teaspoon in the sink, etc to provoke these kinds of messages and use them against him.

He's a dick head. Ducks in a row and LTB

Hope you are ok op.

He is a controlling twat badger!

Totally not judging you and i am sure he has some good qualities! My H gets like this sometimes and I've had to be very assertive with him and basically told him that I will not put up with his attitude. It changes or I go. (Or he can't cope with my assertiveness and he leaves but that's his choice!)

I hope you have a good weekend away despite it all!

I’d wait for him to finish packing the car and drive off without him! send him a text to not to forget to sort the cups out!

He’s an absolute dick. Tell him to stop being a control freak who feels at liberty to boss you around about utterly pathetic non-events or to fuck off and find someone willing to put up with his shitty attitude.

@Wowohwow88 Your husband sounds very much like mine. No advice, just solidarity. They can be proper arseholes sometimes 🙄

Having a pet perve is one thing.

Constantly undermining your other hslf is an entirely different kettle of fish.

A noose?

The problem is that you're simply not good enough for him and never will be.

Acknowledge this fact and hand him his packed bags. He won't need to give back the keys as you'll have already changed the locks. Set him free.

Seriously, whatever uou do won't be goid enough and this prick is dragging your MH into the gutter. It's not you, it's him. Either he enjoys putting you down (guaranteed) or he's got a replacement set up (possible)

He's totally out of order. It is probably a degree of jealousy about your enjoyment of work and satisfaction you gain from it. However, rather than say that, he's being petty and unpleasant to you.
He needs to get some help (& within a set time frame) or you need to consider options. You should not have to live like this.

Words fail me. Can only suggest that you seek legal advice about finishing this abusive relationship. Not a good role model for DC either.
In the meantime Grey Rock.
Imagine being single again & living without this unimaginably ghastly person.

My hubby started getting like this and I was very hard on him. Turned out he was dying and his brain was affecting him quite significantly. I say this only because I don't know if you DH has recently turned into a dickH or if he's always been like it. My hubby became like it and I felt guilty for a long time that I hadn't realised he was dying (liver failure MRSA following an op and the aggressive antibiotics killed off his liver). If its a new thing he needs to see a Dr. If it's his normal modus operandi, get shut of him. You deserve better.

And maybe he's just an arsehole.

Does he have any redeeming features @Wowohwow88?!

After reading your update am shocked, he puts down your work, your parenting, how you stack the bloody cups, the stupid curtain thing. I really think he is never going to change and for your peace of mind and before he destroys your mental health I would really be getting a plan in place to kick him out and have a peaceful life with your children. So what if the child likes to play with the tap and water, I remember as a kid I used to use my dad's shaving foam and my toothbrush thinking I was making candy floss in the sink , (no I didn't eat it) .
There is only so much the human spirit can take before it is crushed.
Was he always like this or when did he change. I cannot see him changing even with counselling as he is too far gone. Pls look after yourself and keep posting for support.

Stacked the cups the wrong way?

Sleeping with the enemy vibes!

He’s incompetent and useless. He’s deflecting his uselessness in trying to grind you down with petty gripes. He’s treating it like a competition at who’s the best parent. What a twat!

You really think someone like this is open to having a 'talk'?

OCD doesn't explain how disparaging he is of his wife's work

You will be so much better off without him. Honestly, what everyone's saying is right.

If my dh complained becaused I'd missed putting a bowl away when I'd covered everything else, I'd say something like "as I've done all the rest, I think it's your turn". But if you think that is likely to push him into violence then don't.