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Original poster

Dd has started running away at bedtime

57 replies

Somethingokonnetflixforonce · 11/04/2024 20:16

Very recent thing, Dd is 5.5 so not little little, now when it’s time for bed, she’ll run out into the garden, deliberately start going on her bike or the trampoline and ignoring me. She gets very giddy and uncontrollable and I end up
losing my temper.
Anyone else’s child do this and how do you cope with it? Tired of getting cross every night

OP posts:
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HowToSaveAWife · 12/04/2024 04:45

First, your door is really unsafe and you need to get a child lock mechanism. Lots on Amazon, I have one that needs to be pushed in hard from both sides and underneath to release. It slides up under the handle to block it from being pulled down.

Secondly, you can take the approach of not reacting when she runs out i.e. "ok mummy's going to bed, good night so!" Pull door closed and walk away. She'll come running fairly fast. I find the less giving out/scene I make about bad behaviour, the quicker it's over.

Or, as mentioned above, "no bedtime story if you don't come in!" and actually mean it.

But seriously, start with getting a child lock on the patio door. You're doing your own legs in by not sorting that.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/04/2024 04:42

I’d be putting child proof door locks on, not just because of her bedtime routine but for her own personal safety.

UndertheCedartree · 12/04/2024 04:35

Saymyname28 · 11/04/2024 20:38

"You can come in now and we can read before bed. Or if I have to come and get you we won't have time for stories." Shut her in her room "we don't have time for stories because you were messing about"

Then the next day "remember how upset you were when we didn't have time for bedtime stories? Are you going to come have stories or mess about again?"

Why would she stop if it doesn't have consequences?

Well, if she has a need for getting worn out at bedtime you could meet that need (or whatever the need is) and then there is no need for punishments.

caringcarer · 12/04/2024 01:09

jannier · 11/04/2024 22:41

Child can let themselves out

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And apparently there are no keys.

jannier · 11/04/2024 22:41

Iwonderwhere · 11/04/2024 20:57

Why is it unsafe? Lost!

Child can let themselves out

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 11/04/2024 21:57

Iwonderwhere · 11/04/2024 20:57

Why is it unsafe? Lost!

Because the child can unlock it without an adult. Child could wake up and let themselves out without an adult knowing.

LancashireSquirrel · 11/04/2024 21:52

Janniss543 · 11/04/2024 21:41

Put her to bed and run away before she does.

Grin
Janniss543 · 11/04/2024 21:41

Put her to bed and run away before she does.

2Rebecca · 11/04/2024 21:41

Our patio door has a thumb lock but if a small child started messing would also acquire a high bolt. I'm rarely angry though but very strict re bed times so have never had a child who thought bed time was time for games

Kelly51 · 11/04/2024 21:35

Next time she runs out, pull the curtains and ignore her, she'll soon come in.

Bluedabadeeba · 11/04/2024 21:28

Somethingokonnetflixforonce · 11/04/2024 20:23

It’s the patio door and just open as it’s warmer and we come in and out, I can shut it and lock it but she can easily unlock and runs out laughing

We have a high up, child lock, sliding door stop thing on ours. Might be worth looking into.

Summerholpls · 11/04/2024 21:24

Can't you build in 30 minute of garden play before bed, and then start the routine 15 minutes earlier to allow for and dragging of feet?

SkyBloo · 11/04/2024 21:20

Or get a bolt and add it to the door at the top.

SkyBloo · 11/04/2024 21:19

Which room is the patio door? Kitchen? Get a lock for that door. Make it clear you are in control.

Shes probably getting a lot of attention from you doing this. Make it more boring & make sure she gets more attention from you doing as she's told.

Start bedtime earlier to allow for her to prat about a bit without it getting too late.

To be honest though, mine does this when she's overtired and hyped up on adrenalin.

Vettrianofan · 11/04/2024 21:19

caringcarer · 11/04/2024 21:16

Lock it and remove the keys then.

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RTFT. No keys apparently.

Iwonderwhere · 11/04/2024 21:17

There aren’t any keys.

caringcarer · 11/04/2024 21:16

Somethingokonnetflixforonce · 11/04/2024 20:23

It’s the patio door and just open as it’s warmer and we come in and out, I can shut it and lock it but she can easily unlock and runs out laughing

Lock it and remove the keys then.

Iwonderwhere · 11/04/2024 21:13

Vettrianofan · 11/04/2024 21:11

Magical isn't it. Never heard of a keyless patio door.

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It’s just a latch type door. They’re quite common. We had one.

Vettrianofan · 11/04/2024 21:11

RazzleDazz1e · 11/04/2024 21:06

We need pics of this key-less door!

Magical isn't it. Never heard of a keyless patio door.

Vettrianofan · 11/04/2024 21:10

That's classic over tiredness so I would highly recommend earlier bed time.

Brefugee · 11/04/2024 21:07

Somethingokonnetflixforonce · 11/04/2024 20:23

It’s the patio door and just open as it’s warmer and we come in and out, I can shut it and lock it but she can easily unlock and runs out laughing

don't be soft. Shut the door and be firm. Make it so that she can't open it.

RazzleDazz1e · 11/04/2024 21:06

We need pics of this key-less door!

TheGiantEmperor · 11/04/2024 21:04

lotsofquestions2 · 11/04/2024 20:54

Without fail even if my 5 year old is having a complete meltdown if I say...

I'm going to win ...

She will run up the stairs to beat me to bed.

So I would recommend making it a competition to who can get to the bathroom to brush teeth first? Then they choose story or something. I don't think I can ever say when it hasn't worked!

We do this. Race Daddy to bed, teeth brushing contests against animals on Google. If she plays up she loses a book but she always has the chance to earn it back.

Joyettan · 11/04/2024 21:02

She needs consequences, she runs outside she loses something ie down to one story or a much shorter bath etc. She is 5 she knows what she is doing. Tell her in advance what will happen if she runs off at bedtime.

Also definitely get something that locks that patio door properly. She should be asking permission to be outside, it is dangerous to just let her decide herself when she is going out without permission of a parent.

Iwonderwhere · 11/04/2024 20:57

Why is it unsafe? Lost!