Met friend A when we were both pregnant, now our DDs are 3.5.
Friend A has the habit to turn up on people’s house (mine and other friends’ house) unannounced or very little notice.
She feels very low when her DH is at work and she has to stay on her own with her DD. She is very extrovert and likes constant company. Even with her DD is with her PILs and her DH is at work, she can’t enjoy time on her own.
So yesterday mid morning, Friend A called to say she was just round the corner, could she pop in for a coffee and a quick playdate? I said yes.
She came in and as the girls settle and start to play, she sits on my sofa and thumbs through the coffee table books/magazines while I’m in the kitchen.
I then bring coffee, water and some biscuits and sit on the other sofa. We start to drink and I start chatting - the usual.
After a few minutes she asks if I can just ‘leave her alone so she can read the magazine she selected please?’
I’m weirded by that but I say sure, so I take my coffee to the kitchen and finish it there while tidying up and stuff. When I have nothing to do in the kitchen anymore, I go to my DD’s bedroom where the girls are playing and stay there.
Then I receive a text message from friend B inviting me for lunch at her house as she has some good news to share (she was ttc so I know what it means).
After about 45 minutes (from me leaving the sitting room to now), friend A comes to the bedroom and asks me what I’m planning to eat for lunch. I tell her that I’m going to friend B’s house for lunch and she asks if she can come too. I tell her to call friend B and ask. She tells me that I should call because I was the one invited. I said no, I don’t think this is how it is suppose to work.
She then decides to leave. She said she might call friend B soon.
When I get to friend B’s house, I ask her if friend A called. She didn’t. I explain she was at mine when I received the text and she knows about the lunch. Friend B knows it means she might turn up unannounced. But she doesn’t.
So I received a text from friend A saying that she hoped we had a good lunch and hope to be included next time.
She also said she might pop at mine again tomorrow, same time.
I just don’t have energy for this nonsense anymore. I get it that she needs constant company but her behaviour at mine yesterday turned me off this friendship, I need to create some distance.
AIBU?
How should I reply?