To distance myself from this friend?

I cannot believe what I just read! She was bossing you around in your own home, and dictating when she will be coming round and how long she will be staying? She made you leave your own living room!!

What is the dilemma? Tell her that her behaviour and expectations are rude and then block and ignore.

She doesn't see You as a friend, she thinks of you as free childminding and free café. You need to end this now before you are doing all her school runs for her as you're bringing your child to school anyway and sure you might as well collect her kid and bring her back to yours after school for dinner too. Since you collected junior on a Friday she might as well have a sleepover and she's collect her Saturday lunchtime, maybe, but certainly on Sunday after dinner. Do you see where this is heading OP, run now and don't look back.

Message her this arrangement does not work for you anymore. There is no point in meeting, she came last time and then asked you to leave her alone, and you ended up watching kids.
She is very direct, so she shouldn't have problem with you being direct.

Friend A is using you. Also, you should expect her to ask you for an apology for not including her in the lunch with Friend B, because that is how users think unfortunately. Have a reply ready for that if/when it comes up.

Tell A you weren't happy to be dismissed so she could read your magazine in peace after you made her a coffee.

Ask her if she realises how that made you feel.

Tell her, thanks for the offer of a get together, but not today.

If you don’t want the confrontation you could just ghost her.

I know that technically ghosting people is frowned on, but I also think that there are times when it’s justified, and for me this would be one of those, although I might do the “I’m not available/will let you know when I’m around,” line a few times first to see if she gets the message. But if not then I would ghost with impunity.

That's rude in Germany, Belgium and I imagine anywhere in the world. She's clearly not afraid of being direct and she's taking advantage of you. It might not come natural to you so you can practise in front of the mirror. Suitable answers would be:

"No, I'm busy. Maybe next time"

"Very busy this week. What about next week?"

"Sorry but I am not happy to be dismissed in my own house. If you want to be alone, maybe stay at yours"

"I don't feel like having company today but thanks for the offer"

And anything along those lines

Fuck’s sake. Must every thread contain a post with this line?

I’d do the avoid - just say no, you are busy and have plans. You could be blunt and say that you prefer to spend your time with people who don’t tell you to go away in your own home, so will likely be busy a lot going forward. [I would probably do this, but I can be snarky when ‘friends’ take the piss, but appreciate there are other more diplomatic approaches available.]

If she arrives unannounced again, just say you are busy and don’t have time to see her today. She’ll keep coming unless you [re]set your boundaries.

If she gets stroppy, then so be it. The friendship has run its course.

How about “Fuck off, I’m not your free cafe and childminding service.”

"No, I'm not available tomorrow as I will be reading my magazine."

She sounds like a nightmare.

Omg that's given me the fear. I had a 'friend' like this for years and it took me ages to get rid of her. And even then it was only because of stalker levels of batshittery. It started out like you have described.. no concern for other people's boundaries.. jealousy of anyone doing anything without her even if she didn't really know the people involved
she once messaged me because she saw a picture of me on Instagram at a birthday party in Bristol which is across the other side of the country.. saying 'why have you gone to Bristol without me?'... I was at the birthday party of an old friend she only vaguely knew and who doesn't like her.....
even if it's something she hates....got upset I'd gone wild camping with a friend and she hadn't been invited.. even tho she hates camping...
she also once got cross because she saw I'd been for a coffee on a softplay with a friend.. it was a playdate for our 5yo children and her only child is 19.
She once rang me and I was at a BBQ at a friend's house that she didn't know at all and said 'oh can I come over?' I said the host didn't know her... she asked me to ask the host if she could come over and I said I didn't want to put that pressure on the host as it was rude. And she was so so angry at me about that for ages.
She was also the type of person who message you, and if you didn't reply within a few mins would follow up with 'Hello??"

Just distance yourself from this person now while you can. I tried repeatedly to talk to my 'friend' about boundaries and how I needed a certain amount of space... and she reacted terribly. Like constant angry messages and emails and voicemails. Entire essays. It was horrific. Eventually I had to block her on every method of contact.
I later found out many mutual friends had also had to do this.

How awful for you to have such a rude woman inconveniencing your day. She’s so inappropriate. What terrible manners. I’d also be distancing myself from her. Make it clear you need to spend more time alone. She sounds stroppy so might not take much for her to sling her hook! Don’t put up with it.

Option 1!

After a few minutes she asks if I can just ‘leave her alone so she can read the magazine she selected please?’

This is really rude OP! I'd like to think I'd have said "Works for me. I wouldn't mind some time alone too. Why don't you just take the magazine with you?"

Be unavailable next time and don't tell her what your plans are specifically if she is a tag along.

I actually cannot believe two things, one someone could be so rude and disrespectful to come into YOUR home and as you to leave the room. I dont care if she needed to strip naked you do not come into someone elses home as tell them what to do.

Secondly I cannot believe you didnt tell her to fuck off and you actually left the room for 45 mins in your own home for her.

Just say to her you will be busy. If she turns up, don't open the door.

Tell her not to come round again and tell her why - she was rude to you in your own home and appeared to not want your company, just some unpaid childcare. This is not the behaviour of a friend.

Does she actually want company or is she like two people I’ve met who deliberately visit others to keep their own homes clean and tidy? They were very open about not having to clean up after a child at the end of the day and having child care. For them refreshments, a magazine and lunch would be even more added bonuses.
Don’t indulge her. She’s not bothered about offending you. Use the coat trick.

That is still incredibly rude.

I think this gets the message across without being unnecessarily aggressive.

If you perhaps think "Fuck off" is too blunt you need to start employing the 'coat trick'.

I had to start doing this when a friend would keep turning up unannounced with her very badly behaviour daughters. I loved her company, but her Daughters were horrors.

Doorbell rings. Not sure who it's going to be? Put your coat on before you answer the door. Someone you like? Postman with a parcel? Neighbour with an emergency? "Oh hello, Good to see you. That's perfect timing. I've JUST got back in. Come in.". Someone you don't like? Friend wanting childcare? Friend wanting to read your magazines in peace? "Oh no, I'm just putting my coat on to go out! Bad timing!".

It's saved me many a time!

I think you were incredibly rude to tell me to "go away" in my own home, so I don't want to see you again.

Done.

Totally odd behaviour and I think everyone likes a little bit of time on their own (does she not think you might want some time alone at home even if she doesn’t?). Surely she must have things to do at home or want to spend time with her child, rather than just knocking on friends doors for coffee?

I wouldn’t get into the stress of having to ignore the doorbell/calls etc as that will just start to affect your life. In a polite but very firm way, I would make it clear (in a message or face to face if you can), that you need your own time at home and she cant just turn up unannounced. She has to text or call to arrange coffees in the future.

"Lunch was lovely thank you. I'm not available tomorrow. I have to say I found it a bit strange and quite rude when you effectively dismissed me from my own living room earlier. I would appreciate it if you do not turn up unannounced and uninvited again in future to read my magazines in peace, you can do that at home. Today felt like you wanted free childcare and a free lunch."