Genuinely kind, friendly and polite teen boys

Single parent, adore my now 24 yr old ds but was very strict on behaviour and manners as soon as he could understand. But like @TheLightSideOfTheMoon always respected him, we talked things through and we were and are close.
He really hated my disapproval, but I think that had a lot to do with being an only child and he really only had me. He was never a blokey boy and didn’t like sport.
He knew I always supported him and still do, but if he’s wrong I will tell him.
Most people always like him, when he was little parents always said how polite he was. However, my jury is out on if he would have been different with different parenting methods, I suspect it’s just the way he is and it’s not that much to do with me.

I know loads of lovely teenage boys as a "not quite" an aunt.

I'd say they all come from stable families, interested parents, adults have spent time with them since they were little, they've had help with school work when required and have generally been nurtured both by their parents and wider family (grandparents/ aunts/ uncles etc). For two families I would count myself as adopted wider family.

Several kids are neuro diverse. Doesn't stop them being polite, helpful and kind.

One of them has a more "hips and hormones" sister who can be pretty toxic to her Mother. But thus far all I've received from her are some withering stares and sarcastic comments. She does still agree to spend time with me which I think is a win.

I'm not a parent but I think it's important to keep the communication channels open, let them know when you don't like their behaviour/ it isn't kind but also that you love them. Spending time together is important - family meals etc. I also find that they talk more in the car with no eye contact.

Personally I ping the teens the odd text message/ photograph. Sometimes I send a postcard or small gift (I like to be a bit unpredictable after I realised that some had started to equate me with a cash cow). They may or may not reply. I don't chase unless I need an answer to something.

My son in his late teens is like this. I would say it's a combination of personality, he's a gentle wouldn't hurt a fly kind of person who's never been interested in drinking or causing trouble. Luck, in that he's always had nice friends and not fallen in with the wrong crowd for example. Also as a pp says, I've treated him with respect. We are open and talk all to each other, he comes to me with problems and I always listen even is it's late or not a good time. We still have lots of hugs.
One thing I was strict on though when he was younger was internet usage. I used the parental controls and he had a timer that cut it off at night. He hated it at the time and thought it was unfair as most of his peers could do what they wanted day and night, but he admits now he's glad he had them.

My boys are both out of their teens now but they were always kind, friendly and extremely polite. I would say that most of their friends are too - it's pretty normal.

If it is a factor, we have never been an angry or disrespectful family. No shouting or discord. We never raised our voices or had strops, and I think that influences kids as they develop. It probably helps that their dad is exceptionally lovely.

I think what gets dismissed as gentle parenting is just one type of good parenting, when done right.

My soon to be 16 year old. Kind, gentle, sensitive. But a bit dreamy too. He’s not had any reason to develop sharp edges. Home life is always quiet, he has space, no dramas, routine. Never got shouted at as never parented that way. Ppl say he’s ‘sweet’. He’s a bit like his dad who is mild mannered and I think it’s a family trait from paternal side. We always eat a meal together with no tv or anything. That is critical I think. Being raised knowing you will spend 45 mins a day with you family where you look them in the eye is powerful. I dint know if there is any correlation but I see a pattern. The worst most cheeky kids are the ones without dinner time. It was the same for my DD who is 19 and just an amazing human.

I had one. He’s 20 now.

I respected him. Knocking before going into his room, asking his opinions, asking for help rather than telling him.

Taught him young how to look after animals and do little bits around the house.

Probably what they now call gentle parenting.

I know a very nice early teenager (13, nearly 14) he's a really sweet boy, bit of a lad with his friends, popular at school, polite and a genuinely nice kid.

He's actually the only teenage boy I know.