Genuinely kind, friendly and polite teen boys

I agree with @MouseTheDog most kids on their own are pretty fantastic. I don't think they need to be perfect though for us to think well of them.

It can get a bit rougher when they are in groups, trying to prove something.

Everyone has their struggles, man, woman, child, elder - I know many great people who are not always polite or friendly - can be rude or grumpy at times as we all can be. This doesn't stop them from being good people.

I have one. He is 16. He is all those things outside of the house bit at home he is a typical awful rude teenage boy so I really don’t know how he is able to be so nice to everyone else! He is just the type of person who likes to follow rules (except mine) and have people like him, especially adults. He also has a nice group of friends. He has always been like this, I used to think his teachers were lying to me when they described how pleasant he was because I never saw that side of him!

I have a girl but I also see the 'inside' of a lot of people's lives with work. I'd say it's a combination of genes, no anger in the house, involved/interested parents, and luck.

As an aside though, teenage boys are also treated in a certain way. A really unhealthy way. I have worked in youth justice, with gang involved youth, with 'challenging' youth. I have found that treating them all as CHILDREN with love, listening, compassion, curiosity and empathy can turn around the behaviour of even 'challenging' boys towards you. If they think you like them and care about them, while taking no nonsense, they will behave upwards.

Yes, consistently modelling respectful and polite behaviour from the word go is important . Really interacting and talking with your child and really listening to them. They will talk to you as they grow. Both dh and I have some of our best conversations when we say goodnight (separately) to ds. He'll talk about things that are bothering him and talk about his goals and future. I feel really lucky.

Mine are way over and my grandson's aren't quite teenagers yet. But I have noticed it tends to be teenage boys who offer to help with the babies and toddlers, or make a fuss of them.

Ah yes! We did series 1! That was a good one too.

I teach a lot of 16-19 boys/young men. I work in a very deprived area. Many do not have 2 parents. Many are in care. Many live alone or in shared housing which will not be of a good standard. Many come from war zones. They often do not have any of the advantages mentioned above I.e a stable background.

The vast majority are absolutely lovely. I love working with them (and equally the young women). I rarely meet a bad egg.

We're working through the Traitors as a family. Currently on Traitors US after watching all the UK and Aussie versions!

I have a now grown up one who has always been polite. Even as a teenager he would always chat to shop assistants etc and genuinely take an interest in stuff he was told. It always made my heart swell. He’s still the same now. His dad and I split when he was 4..my husband came into his life when he was 9.

My younger teen boy (14) is also similar although he’s a bit more shy with other people. He’s very loving and we never have any problems or back chat.

I think with both of them it’s always been about talking to them, not at them. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not been perfect, especially not when I was a single mum but I always made sure the oldest felt loved and listened to even when it was hard going.

My husband and I have been together nearly 20 years now and I think maybe our family unit, combined with a loving extended family has probably helped. We’ve not had any bereavements or serious illness until last year which I imagine is ‘helpful’ in maintaining that feeling of stability.

I also have a daughter who is in the middle and she’s feisty like her mother.😁 We have arguments with her, though not massively often. The eldest is undergoing an assessment for potential autism, the youngest on the pathway for ADHD and my daughter has OCD so we’ve had some challenges but overall we’ve been very lucky.

I have an amazing thoughtful helpful 16 year old we have a great relationship. He also does things I don't approve of, don't believe all that glistens!! No such thing as perfect.

Mines 19 and prides himself on his manners. He always thanks me for every meal I cook, he tells me several times a day he loves me, he's kind and polite to everyone around him. His room is a shit tip though! I've no idea how he ended up like he did it wasn't through any parenting style aside from winging it. I am a single Mum though I don't know if that made a difference.

That's lovely - what a sweetie!

That's an awful way to talk to boys. My DS would have been crushed if I ever spoke to him like that. Only one really applies in that he has some spots but I just bought him some products when it started and told him to let me when he needed more/anything else.

I mean in my situation anyway, I'd have heard about it if my DS became a horror as soon as my back was turned.

But I hear many parents talking about the awful 'teenage years'. Often it seemed the parents got the worst of it. I've not experienced that. Not saying it's all (or any) of my brilliant parenting.

Started with ghosts (BBC). Funny and full.of heart. Schitts creek, taskmaster (bit sweary but he hears worse in school!) Very funny. Then gavin & Stacey (some really rude bits but we fast forward them. Episode 1 is sexual in the hotel room but I fast forwarded!) Now we are watching through Durrell's which we both love..next thinking peter kays car share. Xx

He loves it..sits next to me of sofa. I've got my ten yr old son & 6 yr old daughter so time just us 2 I'd precious.

Another thing we've started young is each yr going of an organised big walk in the countryside locally with a night away in a hostel or yurt as we both love walking but get slowed down by little siblings legs usually. Lots of sideways talking happens on a walk!

My DS is like this and his friends are as well. I don't think it's so unusual.

In Ds's case, he has always been a lovely chap so I think much of it is just him and what he's like. But generally I think it's good to model the behaviour you want to see and this goes especially for any men in his life- make being kind and courteous the norm.

Also don't treat him like he's turned into something horrible just because he's becoming a teenager. I think people are far too relaxed about speaking in an offhand way to boys about being smelly/rude/spotty/full of testosterone etc etc. It may seem funny to adults who see it as a phase but that's not what it's like for the boy going through it. People who are treated with kindness and understanding tend to pay back the same.

My 16 year old…. Absolute twat for a few years. Now he’s the most kind, caring, polite and sensitive young man. He can be a bit of a dick when he’s with his mates but at home he’s adorable. He comes into my room every night to say goodnight and to tell me he loves me. If he has a spare pound or 2 he buys me maltesers (my favourites). A couple of weeks ago he texted me while I was at work to tell me I’m the most amazing mum, thanking me for everything I do and to tell me how much he loves me. ❤️

This is so fascinating! My DS now 14 is the opposite to how I was as a teen, despite being quite similar in personality to me. He has a huge amount of confidence and a positive self esteem. I have always (been lone parent for almost his whole life) encouraged him to be independent and speak up for himself, had mature conversations about different challenging situations and how he could deal with people in his own way. I was always polite to people outside my family, but I was EVIL to my parents, siblings and grandparents. Proper Kevin the Teenager. So I was expecting a bit of karmic payback - there’s always time, I suppose! He’s still cuddly, helpful and generally non-moody so I will count every day this continues as a blessing! I think being confident goes a long way towards helping DS be considerate of others, can’t pinpoint why I think it’s that.

My son also has grown up without knowing his dad (long story) but is still a great young man.

Such heartwarming posts ❤️

Yes my son and his friends. He's 18 and loves football, tracksuits & Nike trainers (as do his mates) so would probably get written off as a chav by some but he's always been kind, sensitive and polite, as are his friends. They are all quite boring compared to what we were like as teens in the 90s- they don't go out much and when they do, just to the pub. My son is especially lovely with his little sister who's 8. He's very kind and patient with her. Two of his friends are football coaches/ref and coach youth teams.

My 18 year is an extremely kind and loving, friendly, respectful and committed boy. He genuinely didn't go through any difficult stages not as a toddler, tween or teen. People have always commented on how polite and mature he is from since he was quite young. He's an only and so he grew up with us able to spend lots of time with him and we developed a very close relationship as a little family, a real bond. We have always involved him in any decision making, respected him and listened to his views. We have always fully supported him in developing his interests. He has lots of friends, is very sociable but also very family orientated. I think it's part personality, part parenting and part luck!

Passthepickle Thank you, he's a lovely lad, and his sister's just as nice. They're both in their twenties now, and just genuinely nice people.
Both amazingly supportive to their mam when they lost their dad far too young. He'd be so proud of the adults they've grown into.

How lovely! Would love to hear your evening watch recommendations. Waiting for Young Sheldon final series here with my 12yo.

I have the best nephew. He comes from a loving family and involved extended family.
His parents are both pretty open and direct in their communication style - there are no games, no passive aggressive shit- they are open to discuss anything.
I think and hope that my nephew feels supported and heard in the family. He is most certainly loved.