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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When did it become a thing to bring your dog to other peoples houses ?!

163 replies

Flowersandforests · 11/04/2024 16:42

DH & I bought a house last year & have been really enjoying having friends / family over - but I’m getting soooo fed up of people asking / assuming their dog is invited too!!

I spent all of last Saturday cleaning my house & then friends bought their dog along so I had to reclean the whole house the next day to get rid of all the dog hair etc. I even found dog hair in my bed the next day 😱

We even had a friend who bought some manky sausages & asked us to cook them for the dog!!! I was trying not to gag.

I’ve started trying to say no, but find people take it soo personally if you don’t embrace their dog too. We’ve also had friends say they can’t leave the dog so would have to cancel (an hour before they were due to arrive) so I feel like my hand is being always being forced.

Has this always been a thing ??!! AIBU to think it’s rude and you should leave your pets at home.

OP posts:
MimiGC · 11/04/2024 17:34

Just say no if they ask beforehand and if they turn up unannounced, don't let them in. If you lose friends because of it, then so be it- they obviously weren't good friends to start with.

MariaLuna · 11/04/2024 17:33

They should leave the dog in the car if visiting. Then they can take it for a short walk or a longer one when leaving.

I wouldn't have a dog in my house. It all centres around the dog then. It's rude.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 11/04/2024 17:32

Back in the day, items sold on eBay were labelled "from a smoke and pet free home" as a selling point.

Is it now the case that items are sold from dog- and vape-friendly homes as a selling point Grin

Flowersandforests · 11/04/2024 17:31

@Haydenn I’ve always been very upfront about the fact I don’t like dogs. So anyone asking IS putting me in an uncomfortable position.

If your friend invited you over for dinner, would you ask if you could also bring your Mum?! If the invite isn’t issued upfront, I think it’s rude to ask.

OP posts:
Pheasantsmate · 11/04/2024 17:31

Flowersandforests · 11/04/2024 17:25

For those saying they would check first… do you not think they puts the host in an awkward position ?! Unless the host offers while arranging it then you should assume that your pet is not part of the plans!!!

MIL asks every time & gets offended and huffy when we say no. Then it puts an edge on the evening

Sounds like a MIL problem. I don’t get offended if people say no, but for me if I can bring my dog then I can stay as long as we like- if I leave dog at home then I’m out for 4 hours including travel time. 🤷🏻‍♀️

enchantedsquirrelwood · 11/04/2024 17:30

Cheshireflamingo · 11/04/2024 17:23

I am beyond fed up with people taking their dogs everywhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your dog home alone for 4 hours or so. I see increasing numbers of dogs out shopping these days - NONE OF THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN. And now I'm having to watch out for dog poo in busy town centres.
And no, I don't hate dogs, I've got one. I wouldn't dream of taking him to someone else's house.

I agree, dragging dogs around shops is just weird.

paintingvenice · 11/04/2024 17:29

Hollybelle83 · 11/04/2024 17:28

My MIL ALWAYS brings her dog. They are now a package and she won't leave it ever. Me and DH hate dogs and this one is forever running upstairs and onto our bed 😤

Shut the bedroom door then? 🤯

Hollybelle83 · 11/04/2024 17:28

My MIL ALWAYS brings her dog. They are now a package and she won't leave it ever. Me and DH hate dogs and this one is forever running upstairs and onto our bed 😤

enchantedsquirrelwood · 11/04/2024 17:28

peakygold · 11/04/2024 16:56

DM always used the dogs as an excuse to leave, as in: "Labradors will start eating the kitchen if I don't go home now. Thanks so much for having us".

Grin A ready made excuse!

Haydenn · 11/04/2024 17:28

Flowersandforests · 11/04/2024 17:25

For those saying they would check first… do you not think they puts the host in an awkward position ?! Unless the host offers while arranging it then you should assume that your pet is not part of the plans!!!

MIL asks every time & gets offended and huffy when we say no. Then it puts an edge on the evening

Now you sound like hard work. I completely get not turning up with a dog-but not even being allowed to ask! That seems a bit silly.

SheffieldIsntSoBad · 11/04/2024 17:27

I'm surrounded by dog lovers but no one would bring their dog to my house! I don't know anyone who would be rude enough to do that tbh. Quite aside from anything else I wouldn't want my house smelling of dog.

Panicmode1 · 11/04/2024 17:27

It's not a thing. It's a CF/entitled thing. I wouldn't dream of taking my dog anywhere, unless I had asked first, and if the answer was negative, I would make arrangements for the dog or send my apologies if we were going to be longer than 4 hours max and unable to find someone to look after her. In the same way that if DH and I are invited to dinner, I wouldn't turn up with my four children in tow.....;-)

K0OLA1D · 11/04/2024 17:26

Cheshireflamingo · 11/04/2024 17:23

I am beyond fed up with people taking their dogs everywhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your dog home alone for 4 hours or so. I see increasing numbers of dogs out shopping these days - NONE OF THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN. And now I'm having to watch out for dog poo in busy town centres.
And no, I don't hate dogs, I've got one. I wouldn't dream of taking him to someone else's house.

Depends where you are though really.

When I could walk him, I used to walk him to the town to nip into the pet shop and then to get a coffee before return trip home. He comes to the pub with us occasionally as he enjoys people and the treats he gets.

If we're on holiday he comes everywhere with us as holiday let's don't normally let you leave them unattended.

His shit always gets picked up though

Flowersandforests · 11/04/2024 17:25

For those saying they would check first… do you not think they puts the host in an awkward position ?! Unless the host offers while arranging it then you should assume that your pet is not part of the plans!!!

MIL asks every time & gets offended and huffy when we say no. Then it puts an edge on the evening

OP posts:
Mammma91 · 11/04/2024 17:24

I wouldn’t allow someone to bring their dog, unannounced or asked in advance. I have young children, I don’t have my own dog and I have cats. So it’s not suitable for me. Even without that, I still don’t think I’d be ok with it.

Caspianberg · 11/04/2024 17:24

My in laws keep hinting they are going to drive from uk (about 1000km) to ours next time so they can bring dog. I have repeatedly told them they will be checking into a hotel if they do that. We get a pet sitter for our cat when we are away, they can get one for dog

Caroparo52 · 11/04/2024 17:24

betterangels · 11/04/2024 17:00

Say no. If I wanted a dog in my home, I'd get a dog. It's okay to say no.

This. Say no.

Haydenn · 11/04/2024 17:23

It’s not the done thing. I take my dogs to friends houses where they’re welcome-if they aren’t welcome then people need to be aware there is a time limit on my visit…I get quite annoyed when dogs aren’t welcome but they kick off if I try to leave!

Most of my friends aren’t too houseproud though…and one of the dogs definitely gets more invites than I do!

WetBandits · 11/04/2024 17:23

Mine doesn’t come visiting with me unless he is explicitly and enthusiastically invited! The only place I just turn up with him is my best friend’s house because she looks forward to seeing him more than me, and if I ever went without him I’d be told to go home and get him 😂

Cheshireflamingo · 11/04/2024 17:23

I am beyond fed up with people taking their dogs everywhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your dog home alone for 4 hours or so. I see increasing numbers of dogs out shopping these days - NONE OF THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN. And now I'm having to watch out for dog poo in busy town centres.
And no, I don't hate dogs, I've got one. I wouldn't dream of taking him to someone else's house.

Dearg · 11/04/2024 17:20

Not a thing, or shouldn’t be. I love my dogs and most others too, but I expect friends to check before they spring their canines on me, and I would do the same. And never take them to the friends who don’t have dogs already, unless the invitations specifically says it’s the dogs they want and I am merely the escort.

Riverlee · 11/04/2024 17:19

I have a dog, and wouldn’t take him without checking first.

EveryoneJapan · 11/04/2024 17:18

Never had this before. I don’t see any harm in asking but the answer would be no. If they turned up without asking first they’d be making the return trip.

TheIceQween · 11/04/2024 17:17

YANBU. Had this happen to me last summer. Friend has a huge breed dog and she knows I don’t like them. I’ve never owned one and I never would, yet she came to my house with it? I kept them in the hallway as I didn’t want a huge slobbering animal all over my new carpets. Why? Just why? They didn’t bring it again

scruffydogstinks · 11/04/2024 17:15

It wouldn't even occur to me to assume my dog was invited to my friends house, I find it quite rude to assume it's ok to take a dog!

The only houses my dog goes are my MIL and grandad's as they both like having the dog, I wouldn't dream of asking my friends if I can bring the dog to their house!