When did it become a thing to bring your dog to other peoples houses ?!

I always check but if I'm going to be away from home for more than 4/5 hours I need to plan for the dog and him coming makes most sense. Most people I know have dogs

It depends on how long they are left. Dogs are social animals and need company. I don't leave mine very often but can leave her for an hour or so if urgent. This is important as they may need to stay at a vets ECT one day. But I choose not to very often , I chose to have a dog and when I did that I made arrangements to ensure she can come to work with me, or go to daycare.
I wouldn't dream of taking her to someone's house if they didn't include her in the invite but equally then I probably would not go. Instead I would reverse the invite and invite them to ours where my dog would be comfortable in her own home.
If our guests have dogs I automatically assume they will come with them.

Any "friends" who expect people to cause unnecessary distress to their animals, rather than meeting up a suitable venue are not really worth being around anyway!

I’ve been to to weddings, clubs, garden parties etc where my daughter was not invited. I either paid for a baby sitter, went on my own and DH stayed home or we didn’t go. It never caused her distress or upset. I didn’t assume those friends were slighting me by choosing to go somewhere where children were not invited.

Why would you assume that friends would want to cause distress to an animal? They may have very good reasons to not excpect a dog, nervous pets themselves, some people who are allergic, toddlers crawling around the garden and not wanting to encounter dog poo (even when you pick it up it leaves smears on a lawn etc), you sometimes have to think of the majority and if leaving a dog or two out of the equation is required then it isn’t coming from a position of hatred.

I do not understand why some people say that they "have" to take their animals with them. I know that you cannot leave young puppies home alone, while they are in training, but grown dogs? Why not, I do not get it?

I never take my dog anywhere with me. She is often home alone, never made mess, got into any kind of trouble and seems to be living a happy and healthy life. She is 16 this year.

Any "friends" who expect people to cause unnecessary distress to their animals, rather than meeting up a suitable venue are not really worth being around anyway!

No reason to allow dogs into your home, but if you have friends/family with dogs that can't be left alone, then don't expect meet ups or social events to happen in your home if its dog free!

Closed answer.

" No"

Very hard to wriggle out of and no you don't owe them an explanation as to why not.

Any ‘friends’ that put their animal above the ‘friendship’ are not worth being around anyway.

I did take my cats with me to my DPs one Christmas (they were invited), DM had very pursed lips when Probably the Cat jumped paws first in a trifle she'd left covered with a tea towel on top of the chest freezer oops

I am a dog owner, and would never take my boy to someone's house unless he was specifically invited. Even then I'd think twice at the moment, he's a border collie and is shedding so much I'm surprised he has fur left on him!

I did take my cats with me to my DPs one Christmas (they were invited), DM had very pursed lips when Probably the Cat jumped paws first in a trifle she'd left covered with a tea towel on top of the chest freezer oops'

Not assuming anything. My friends DO love dogs- or I would not visit them with the dog. I never impose her presence at all. But I might not go if I it is too far away to leave her. My choice.

I have to pay a lot of money and need to book well in advance, to have a carer in our own home. Would never leave her in kennels as she has had a difficult past.

I’d never dream of taking my dogs to someone else’s house.

It's reasonable to make your own rules (including dog free) for your own home.

It's unreasonable to expect the venue for meet ups with your friends or family to be one which does not suit their circumstances.

Expecting the owner of a dog who can't be left alone to socialise in a dog free home is akin to expecting parents of toddlers to socialise in a nightclub.

So no dogs rule is fine, and your prerogative, but don't be pissy when future meet ups only happen in their home or another dog friendly venue.

I think that particularly during covid a lot of people got poorly bred crossbreeds that are really needy and neurotic. They then can't leave them at home so end up taking them everywhere. That's my experience anyway.

MIL has a medical assistance dog , I’m severely allergic to dogs (and cats). She repeatedly tries to come round with the dog and I have to refuse to let her in and every time it causes an argument so now dh just goes there to see her and has to change and shower the second he comes home or i have an asthma attack. She tried to tell me once I was ‘breaking Some kind of law’ by not allowing her in and told me that even if a stranger knocked on the door it’s the law to allow them to use the toilet so if she asks me that I have to let her and the dog in???? She’s crazy

Weird. I’ve only had a dog over when I specifically said it was fine and said dog just sat in his basket (which came along too) all evening .

Surely you just need to arrange care for your dog. Not assume your friends love it too. I can assure you some of them are just being polite!

Start saying sorry we can't have the dog here shall we come to you instead? They might manage to leave the dog at home if it means they don't have to host!

I’ve noticed that this is a thing now. Perhaps since lockdown. It’s infuriating. My father in law made a big song and dance about how his dog is ‘part of the family’ (obviously over and above our cat and toddler who is scared of this dog). We have friends who do the same. FML

I do not allow dogs in the house.

BTW my dog is very well behaved, does not jump, does not attempt to go on settee, and if I visit, she will have her own clean blanket, washed the previous day, and I will always have a clean towel to clean her paws. She is never imposed on anyone- but I am likely to turn down invites where she is not welcome. I have great friends where she is always welcome.

Due to her history, our dog can be left for a few hours, but not more. So if friends invite me for the day, I can't go, and won't go. Could still be friends- but honestly, I will tell you the absolute truth- I don't really trust people who don't like dogs. In fact, none of my friends don't like dogs, come to think of it. Never thought about this before.

A true allergy is another thing. Most people just use an allergy as an excuse, tbh.

Nothing entitled- just the reality for many dog owner/lovers that they may choose their dog. For many, their dog brings them happiness day in, day out- unlike friends.

Dogs are generally a lot more smelly and intrusive. They’re often also larger, and tend to tread mud in everywhere and lick things. Cats don’t smell, unless people have litter trays which can smell sometimes. They are much cleaner than dogs, though both can leave hair everywhere. And they are more likely to keep to themselves and are smaller.

Dogs also need a lot more looking after - walking, grooming etc. And you don’t need to take your cat around with you, or see if it can come into peoples houses.

And some people will be allergic to dogs and others to cats so that evens out. I’m a bit allergic to cats but would still happily live with one but could never live with a dog. Obv I’m a cat person and I know there are other huge pluses for dogs if you like them.

@TruJay did they not even offer to clean up the mess? They sat looking at the paw prints and did nothing?! I would've been gobsmacked if a guest turned up with 2 dogs to see my 3 day old baby and quite probably started crying.

YANBU at all. Some of my family can be like this and I agree that even asking is wrong when they know what the answer will be as it makes me uncomfortable. It's like they hope if they ask enough times you'll give in, that's not nice behaviour from friends or family.
We also get messages sent en route 'btw I know you said dog couldn't come but (insert random bollocks excuse) dog sitter is ill/teen neighbour has an exam/dog isn't feeling well'. It makes saying no so horribly uncomfortable. I insist dog stays in the garden in this situation.