Who's right and who's wrong out of me and my husband?

This, completely ridiculous and your insurance is invalid. Your poor DH, your expectations (and demands!) are unreasonable

I personally think you should have checked with DH first, as it seems you knew he wouldnt be keen on driving. If hes willing to take care of the dog and do the dog walks then id leave it at that and try to get your money back. Does your dog go to daycare often? If not doing 5 days a week when you have someone at home to care for him seems a bit much.

wishing you a speedy recovery

I'm team daycare here (although I'm not an advocate of doggy daycare) as OP wants her husband to do her a favour while she is vulnerable and the husband is not going out of his way for her. However, it looks like daycare isn't happening.

OP you shouldn't be driving.

Make sure your lazy husband takes the damned dog out 3x a day and that it is a very lengthy walk.

What on earth does he do at home all day, now your kids are older?

30 mind for doggy day is far too far 10-15 mins would have been more reasonable request

Not on subject but....driving after surgery without specific medical clearance would invalidate your insurance.
Is there no way your DH could keep the dog entertained for a few hours ? You're not being unreasonable in wanting Fudge to have fun but if he doesn't go every day normally why insist on it now when DH is capable of looking after him without all the extra driving ( 20 hrs pw)
Finally, not that it's any of my business but isn't it about time DH got himself a job again? I assume your children are pretty well grown now ? You shouldn't be feeling that you must work while recovering from surgery. Even done by laparoscopy it's not a walk in the park

I hope you make a good recovery.
Fudge is a very lucky dog to have such a lovely, caring owner. Sadly I don’t think your DH feels quite the same about him as you do. Refusing to drive him wasn’t being kind to either of you.

And to all the people saying 'he should do it because he doesn't work' - they agreed he would stay home with the dc, so he doesn't actually have a career any more, they are very well off, so he doesn't need to work.

That doesn't make him the OP's slave to have to do things he intensely dislikes and which are completely unnecessary just because the OP wants him to, when he has offered a perfectly reasonable alternative.

You're rich, it's a treat not a necessity, just spend a bit more and get the dog picked up and delivered, most day cares will do that, won't they? If not there are pet taxis you can use.

I take my dog to a sitter half an hour away when we go away and no way would I be willing to take him and pick him up every day five days in a row. What a drag.

If you're super rich why don't you pay someone to drive the pampered pooch to doggy day care? You're being ridiculous. He's offered a perfectly reasonable solution so I don't blame him refusing to be blackmailed into doing lengthy drives when they're not necessary.

There's a current thread with a 'sahm' with one dc nearly finished uni and one at finishing school and she's still getting the 'you deserve spousal maintenance'...

YANBU. Your husband doesn't work and also doesn't look after any children. What does he do at home?

He can surely survive driving 2hrs a day while you recover?! Has he offered to be out of the house for several hours/keep the dog completely away from you so you can rest?

Or is he planning to enjoy his hobbies, take dog out a couple of times and let you deal with him?

I'm assuming the second one in which case he's extremely selfish. And who would let someone they love drive for 2 hrs days after surgery?? If you were my partner I'd be worried sick and wouldn't let you do that!!

Your husband is a prick, sorry. He hasn’t worked in 15 years because of the kids, so the kids are at least 15, so what does he do all day?
I think now would be an excellent time to suggest a return to work.
And before anyone says it, yes, my opinion would be exactly the same if this was a reverse and OP was a man and lazy one was the woman.

I can’t get over him being a SAHP to actual ADULTS 😂

Do taxis not exist in your area? Even if they wouldn’t take the woof on his own, you or husband could ride with him. And work. Since you earn loads anyway.

2 x hour long round trips… the dog should be able to chill at home and have a few walks per day… he shouldn’t need constant supervision.

I can understand your pov, to an extent. But it would be better to have a discussion with your dh rather than passive aggressively driving the dog yourself.

What would happen if you said “dh, I’m feeling a bit let down …”

My other question is whether he’d actually stick to his promise to walk the dog several times a day, or would he stop at the first shower of rain.

You sound quite resentful of your division of labour. Is this something you’re able to talk about together?

If communication is hard, would you consider couples counselling?? What’s the relationship like otherwise?

I hope your recovery goes well.

What a princess 😂. My husband would have refused on the spot, but would have walked the dog at a time and place of his choosing.

I'm sorry, I know that you're doing what you think is best but your husband has given a very reasonable explanation as to why he doesn't want to drive two hours a day and also come up with a way of still managing the dog.

YABU .. But that comes PURELY because you've driven with totally invalid insurance and put other road users at risk by doing so. Not to mention you and the dog. Should he have stepped in and had a discussion when you said you'd drive the day after surgery? Maybe that would have been nice. But you're the one who got in the car when it was illegal to do so. And that, as far as I'm concerned, is the massive issue here.

Can we stop calling him a SAHP, the kids are grown up- there’s no parenting to be done!!!

Your poor husband! What a palaver!

Surely if money is no object just hire a car service to take/return the dog to daycare.

LTB

Yabu. 2 hours driving for 4 hours dog entertainment is ludicrous. Also laprascopic gall bladder surgery is really very minor, I was pretty much back to normal within a day albeit the shoulder pain was unpleasant! If you want a bit of relaxation time that's fine but using your surgery as an excuse to send your dog off miles away is not reasonable, you really aren't going to be that incapacitated.

Not read many PPs but you do know most doggy day care collect and return dogs to their homes. They are given key to the dog's owner's house.

Yeah... All these lazy parasite SAHMs need to know their place and drive their husband's pet ferret 2h a day to ferret daycare, to show their gratitude to their benevolent charitable husbands