Who's right and who's wrong out of me and my husband?

It's not recommended to drive immediately after this procedure, but in no way is a laparoscopic gall bladder removal "major abdominal surgery" (I know this because I've had it). The procedure is done this way to avoid major surgery. So possibly it's YABU simply for being over-dramatic!

2 hours every day in the car to take the dog YABVU

YABU. a) booking your dog in without discussing it with your husband was ridiculous b) a 2 hour drive is unreasonable d) if having your dog at home but being looked after and walked by someone else means not enough peace and quiet for you, your dog must be pretty badly-behaved! My (large) dig was at home when I was recovering from the same op.

Could you get a 'dogsitter/walker' who could simply take the dog there and back. And potentially take them if daycare was shut?
It does seem quite far to drive. But the fact you are the breadwinner (has he got disabilities and the relevant benefits if unable to work?) if not it means you should take the dog's extra costs out of his 'pocket money'.

This is crazy, your husband has said he will
keep the dog away and would rather spent his time walking the dog than driving him the day care and why would the dog be bored at home, unless he goes to day care every day that’s his usual life and your DH has already committed to extra walks. My DH has had 2 hip replacements in a 6 month period, we have 2 young spaniels, they are high energy and the youngest was at the time like a bull in a china shop - didn’t affect my husbands recovery at all having them at home, I kept the dogs out of the room DH was in unless I was there to supervise them. I would have also thought that even after minor surgery you probably shouldn’t be driving for a few days. Definitely team DH here

I wouldn't drive 2 hours to daycare if I didn't work and could look after the dog and walk it myself, so I'm with your husband on this one. Surely daycare is for when there's nobody at home for the dog? Seems a waste of his time, of fuel and cost of daycare to me. If you'd said he was out at work all day and the dog would be stuck in the house as you wouldn't be able to walk him that's different. I think you're being a martyr by driving (and shouldn't be doing so!) and don't blame your husband for still not offering as there's really no need for either of you to be driving there.

You are being an absolute martyr!

a- there is no need for the dog to be out of the house especially when your husband has said that he will walk the dog 2-3 times per day. Stay up stairs if you really want to be away from the dog.
b- if you expected your husband to drop and pick up the dog involving 2 hours driving when you know he does not particularly like driving then the least you could have done was ask him first.
c- really unsure what your husband being a SAHP has got to do with any of this unless you are just trying to make him out to be a complete cock lodger for no reason
d- if you are not supposed to be driving then don't drive!!

Jeez!

I don't mind driving. And I love my dog.

But no fricking way would I drive for two hours to and from doggie day care.

@Maybeicanhelpyou Oh I realise that! I was just responding to people saying it wasn't major surgery that actually it can be quite debilitating.

What possible relevance has that got to this?

2 hours of driving everyday to take a dog to daycare when your DH can walk the dog himself??

Yeah team husband.

YABU just for the length of your OP.

Your husband has said he'll sort Fudge out so just let him.

No one likes a martyr.

You should have discussed it with him first. And why on earth is you driving for 2 hours a better scenario than just having the dog at home, especially if your DH takes the dog out a lot. And I'm assuming you don't live in 1 room - surely just go in a different room to the dog.
Your relationship seems to have an odd dynamic, with you being the only income. Why is he not working now, assuming your kids are teens if not older?

No, so that she can rest.

Yabu and totally ridiculous. Team husband.

Oh come off it. He'd be driving two hours a day if he drove to work.

It doesn't sound like you have much respect for your husband. That might be warranted, it's hard to tell from what you say.

I'm a surgeon.

This operation IS classed as major abdominal surgery. Just because recovery is usually straightforward and it's done as daycase doesn't change that.

You will not be insured for driving the day after surgery. Guidance is absolutely not within 48 hours of a general anaesthetic and then not until you'd do an emergency stop without hesitating which almost no one could do within a couple of days. So you are massively unreasonable for this alone.

Now the non medical answer - if I was your husband I'd be pissed off that you were micromanaging how I managed your request to keep the dog away to allow you to recover. It's a completely reasonable request but it's for your husband to decide how it's achieved given that it's him who is having to do it. I'd also think that if you were considering yourself well enough to drive for 2 hours you were well enough to sort it yourself and I'd now be leaving you to it

I mean I love dogs, and I always loved the dogs I had but this is a bit much, seriously you’re doing all this driving so your dog can have fun at day care? That’s bonkers.

But @mynameiscalypso the OP isn’t in as much pain as you were as she has got into her car and driven the dog. If her recovery was that bad she physically wouldn’t have been able to do that.

Depends how irritating the dog is at home. If it's extremely irritating then the husband is being unreasonable.
If it's like most dogs who just snooze if their owners are settled at home then the op is being ridiculous.

Obviously I cannot judge without life dog info but if I was at home recovering my dog would be snoozing nearby and be quite happy. He would also go about 5 days without a walk before he got really annoying due to lack of stimulation. But my dog is 10 and a right limpet so it's hard to tell. He also does not jump on laps. Perhaps the op dog does.

Expecting your husband to spend two hours per day driving when younknow he hates it is completely unreasonable. My husband also hates driving and I would never ask this this of him.

The dog will be fine with your husband walking him. If he can't settle down after mutiple walks, then it sounds as though he has behavioural issues that need addressing, I say that as the owner if a high energy border collie.

It's v concerning that you priortize your dog's happiness over both your husband's happiness and your own health.

I think you should have discussed this with your husband first and you probably wouldn’t be cleared by a doctor to drive which invalidates your insurance. It’s not reasonable to book something that you depend upon somebody else doing something they dislike to accommodate without you getting their agreement so YABU.

I hope you feel much better soon.

Sorry, I wouldn't be driving two hours a day for five days so my dog can have a playdate if I was home and capable of looking after him. I'd barely do that for my child.

You should have organised and confirmed this before your Op too tbh, not just assumed he'd do it when you know he hates driving.

Unless your dog is absolutely massive and completely out of control I don't see how he'll be disruptive to your recovery either. I have three big dogs and managed to recover from abdo surgery with them still in the house.

YABU.

Husband sees me doing this and still doesn't say, 'Look if it means that much to you, I'll drive him there and back.' Am I being unreasonable to think he should just have driven the dog to day care for the days I can't do it?

Yes, because you are being a manipulative martyr.

Also, you are driving without insurance.