Who's right and who's wrong out of me and my husband?

OP wants a quiet house.

YABU. Spending an hour in traffic so Fudge can have a lovely day lol. He offered to walk him. No need for doggy day care.

Unless, of course, you come back and say DH is mega lazy and does nothing around the house, in which case you have bigger problems.

YANBU.
Your kids are adults, he doesn’t work, what does he do all day that he can’t spend two hours driving? Many people (myself included) spend more than two hours a day driving to and from work.

Sorry op but if your dh was actually going to walk the dog then it’s just something you’d like as opposed to it being needed. (sorry!!)

I must ask my dog what her very favourite thing is. Actually I think I can guess - it’s barking at all the cats that come into our garden, keeps her happy for hours.

I had the same surgery last year and you shouldn’t be driving. I was advised not to for two weeks, it’s not safe so you are being unreasonable in that regard.

I agree probably your husband should just do it considering but I would be interested in knowing how you asked him, however, I think I would try and find a compromise where you can find the house restful enough but dog doesn’t have to be in daycare, like your husband having him out for the majority of the day or something.

Husband did initially agree to do it for 4/5 days, then suddenly changed mind when I was in hospital and he encountered one traffic jam.

That quote was from OPs second post.

I'm still of the opinion that husband is being a dick and if he were mine I'd be raging.

Two hours a day for doggy daycare is a lot - you should have discussed this with your husband first. I can see why he doesn't want to do it - if he can walk the dog, keep it entertained and out of your way, I don't see the problem. I don't know why the dog would need to be physically out of the house for you to recover - she could be downstairs and you upstairs for most of the day? Also, sounds like your husband may suffer from driving anxiety / phobia - very common, but men feel less able to talk about it openly, so will go for excuses about 'heavy traffic' etc.

Is he always this selfish? If yes, divorce him.

I understand why you'd want to do that. I would have okayed it with my husband first, because it's 2 hours of driving every day.

Husband doesn't work so 10 hours out of a whole week as a one off shouldn't be too much of an ask. I'd be annoyed.

I’m not sure what your wealth has to do with this but seeing as you’ve mentioned it twice, could you arrange a doggy chauffeur to doggy day care?

I mean I absolutely love my dog but it’s a dog not a human. He can still have fun at home.

daycare half an hour away? Do
yiu live really remote as I live in a small town and we have several daycares within a ten min drive at most. No way would I drive 30 mins just to take a dog to daycare unless it was on the way somewhere.

I'd choose to walk a dog rather then spend two hours a day in a car!! I vote dh is normal and reasonable and you are very odd.

Yes you have a good job, because he gave up work and supposed you..so bugger off with the "I'm the only breadwinner crap"

It likes to settle down on his own sofa and watch ‘Dogs Behaving Badly’ whilst siping a fine chianti…

So you’d be quite happy if someone decided what you were going to do without even consulting you first? It doesn’t matter what it is I would not be happy to be told what I was going to do, obviously you don’t mind that but I’d be annoyed and very put out by it.

Up to 2 hours (30min there & back twice a day fr drop off & pick up)

& yes OP I think it was incredibly naive to think you could pull this off with surgery & relying on your husband to do the work of getting them there & back home.

Can you call a kennel instead ?

Absolute madness. I can't get past the dog daycare as being the dogs favourite activity. Did you ask it? What else was in the dogs top 10?

He’s not working so why does the dog need to be an hour’s drive away every day? If the dog loves it there so much wouldn’t it make more sense to book him in for an entire week or two, like they must do when they go on holiday?

I can't believe people would drive 2 hours a day to take a dog to daycare, when there is someone perfectly willing to look after it at home and walk it 2-3 times a day.

What a waste. No wonder we're all f**d with global warming.

Um, no her husband did NOT agree to it. She booked it without asking and knowing he finds being in a car very stressful; he tried to oblige, doing it once but the traffic was so awful he refused to do it again. He has offered an alternative - walking the dogs 2-3 times a day.

Frankly, he gave up work to be the SAHP, and support her job. And OP is being controlling and dictatorial. If the sexes were reversed, you’d be telling the SAHP to get a flipping divorce for coercive, controlling behaviour.

I’ve had major abdo surgery myself when my kids were young and know how hard it can be recovering (my Dh was overseas); I am also crazy about my dogs… but there is no way I would treat my partner like this. He’s happy to take care of the dog on his terms, Fudge could really care less whether he gets his exercise and socialisation in a daycare or on a walk with his owner (actually, I suspect he’d prefer walks with his doggy dad - I mean, it’s fine to send them if you have to work and have no choice, but instead of walks with its owners? Come on!!)

And you liked to put the dig in that you’re the sole breadwinner as your dh looks after the kids. Completely irrelevant bit of information. I’ve never heard of anyone booking their dog into daily day care when they’ve had an op (more understandable to book them in for two whole weeks if you were alone).

I am curious - does the husband not usually walk the dog during the day ?

what does he do all day ? that he decides to offer to walk the dog as he won't drive him to doggy daycare ?

Whose side is the dog on and is he sulking ?

You're unreasonable for unilaterally deciding your husband would drive an hour twice a day.

You're also unreasonable for driving as you won't be insured.