Who's right and who's wrong out of me and my husband?

How would hubby go on if shed have had a c- section you are not allowed to drive for 6 weeks it can impede you're recovery he just should man up and take the dog to day care or she should go and stay in a hotel by herself and rest and recuperate my husband is the kind of person he would do this no questions asked yes he hates driving but wouldn't want to impede my recovery. Also he probably would get fed up after a bit of looking after the dog hes an ah

I think you’re both being a bit unreasonable.
Your DH sounds like he has an easy life and should be doing everything to make your life easier after surgery. Either doggy daycare, or looking after the dog.

But, you do come across as a bit martyrish in your posts and there’s definitely a tone of infantilising your husband - you should have got agreement for the daycare, and you were definitely unreasonable to drive the dog there yourself. You keep saying daycare is for the dogs social life - I think you should have made it clear that it’s to aid your recovery. And I’m also wondering how badly trained your dog is if it’ll leap on you without notice.

Team Wife. I agree with everything OP has said.

No chance of acknowledging people have pointed out with evidence that you are wrong in having said, very snidely, that it’s minor surgery, and that the op could hardly have a successful career if she doesn’t know something as basic as that?
anywya I hope she’s fucked off to a hotel where staff will provide food and told her Dh what’s what.

@SallyMcCarthy

as Fudge has been mentioned a few times now, what breed is he ? and how old is he

and why have we not had a photo ?!!!

Obviously you didn’t bother to read the post from a surgeon who stated gall bladder removal, whether keyhole or otherwise, is classed as major abdo surgery, but really that’s not the point. The OP has had an operation and needs a few days at least to rest and recover and her useless tit of a husband is too selfish and lazy to help her achieve that!

If you were worried DH would just let the dog run wild and cause chaos why didn't you just say that to him? 'DH it's not just about walking, you need to supervise him. Either you stay in the room with him all day and manage him in between walks or you take him to dog daycare'.

Also, genuinely not being judgemental, but does your dog need better training? Why is he leaping on you all the time and chewing things he shouldn't? Obviously all dogs will occasionally do that, but so much so you're worried DH needs to constantly supervise him? Perhaps DH should be taking him out to obedience training in all his substantial spare time.

I recognise gall bladder surgery is nominally major (I was told the same) but if there aren't any complications it really shouldn't be that hard to recover from. In any case, as you've noted in your most recent posts, all this is a side issue. DH is coasting on your hard work and not an equal partner. That is what needs addressing.

I think you are both in the wrong, you should have asked him first especially knowing he dislikes driving- but he should also make more of an effort to keep the dog away from you- he may not want to drive him to daycare but maybe take him out for a day to the local park to meet dogs or just keep him in a room or two away from you? Make your day a little easier. He said he's happy to deal with him at home with numerous walks so I can't see why he would have a problem.

But you should have asked him or arranged other transport.

That is what I thought too. I thought she was trying to make him be in a heightened state of fear for two hours a day. Turns out he is just a whiner.

Given the update, I think he is being a bit of a jerk. He can't take two hours out of his day to help out? And it is not even all at once?

I have had laparoscopic gallbladder removal. It is minor surgery. I have also had 3 c sections. They are major surgery. The two are frankly not comparable

YABU. Laparoscopic gall bladder removal is not major abdominal surgery. I had it last year and was back at work in two weeks.

I also can’t see any reason having a dog around would be a problem.

Actually, I decided Google it in case it comes up in my next Accounting job interview.

Laparoscopy is a minimally invasive procedure, but that doesn’t always mean it’s a minor surgery. Many abdominal procedures can be done as laparoscopic surgeries, but they’re still major surgeries. Your surgeon is the best person to tell you if your procedure is a major surgery, how to prepare for it and what to expect during recovery.

But I'm sure you know better.

@mrsdineen2 it's fairly basic common knowledge. I don't consider myself superior by knowing something so mundane, but if op walks around telling everyone she had "major keyhole surgery" she's going to make a fool of herself

Or she knows the difference and is just trying to paint her husband as a villain by over exaggerating her surgery to make him look worse

If she earns big money as a doctor, I'm concerned. But I don't particularly care if my solicitor, financial advisor or architect know that difference.

I doubt you care either, you just saw a chance to act superior. Well done.

Surprised your earn so much money and don't know that "major surgery" means "not keyhole" and "laparoscopic" means "keyhole". Therefore you have not had "major abdominal surgery" you've had keyhole abdominal surgery

it isn't "major" surgery but it is bloody painful. I couldn't stand upright or cough or laugh for a week after it (keyhole). Not "a bit" but a bloody LOT painful.

I like this reply 😂 I hope OP is coming back to see some of the responses supporting her - it’s a shame she didn’t put some of the points in the first thread - I’m terrible I always don’t read the whole thread but I always make sure I read all OP comments if it’s a mahusive thread just so I can get all the facts.
I would be hugely upset if I were her - I don’t think it’s been a big ask at all and he sounds very entitled - possibly one of the few times she’s asked for him to put himself out for 0.01% days of the 15 years he’s not worked and he’s thrown his toys out of the pram and proved he’s a certain type of lodger

For God’s sake read ALL of the OP’s updates! The DH in question is the biggest, most selfish, useless CF inclined cock lodger yet and he’s also incredibly stupid too! You’d think that it would be in his own best interest to ensure that the woman who provides his enviable lifestyle recovers as well and as quickly from her surgery as possible so that she can continue funding him in the style that he no doubt thinks he deserves, but no, he’s too fucking idle to be bothered! Why in fuck’s name are you defending him?

It's a fair cop, clicking "see all" then "go to post" let me down when I misclicked on the wrong one.

She did ask him in advance and he agreed

She did ask him. He agreed. He did it once and changed his mind. OP now doesn’t trust him to take care of the dog at home when he says that’s ok as an alternative knowing it will get left to her. It’s not a difficult thread

She didn’t drop it in on page 17, it was also mentioned in her first reply on page 5 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly, it sounds like you think you can command your husband to do what you want him to do, then when he refused, you decided to make him see you can manage without him etc. You sound very controlling. What made you think you could decide your husband will do the driving for 2 hours and not even think to ask him? It sounds like your making him pay for you bring the breadwinner? As in, you don't think he should even be asked. Yabu