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Original poster

Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

318 replies

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 15:12

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel?
Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come?
They will see each other the next morning

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 11/04/2024 17:19

Is the BiL better able to help with the luggage 😉
I really wouldn’t care, I’d just be glad to be picked up.

Iaskedyouthrice · 11/04/2024 17:19

If I hadn't seen my sister for 1.5 years I would expect her to pick me up from the airport and her dh to put the kids to bed.

gettingbackonit23 · 11/04/2024 17:18

Yeah totally fine unless there’s some backstory and they’re sworn enemies or something

Original poster
Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 17:17

@UltramarineViolet Sorry, so short haul flight-2 hrs, last saw each other 1.5 years ago

OP posts:
Original poster
Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 17:16

@CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment What? I‘m replying to people

OP posts:
CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 11/04/2024 17:10

Why do you keep on posting these updates no one needs, just ask her if she's offended

UltramarineViolet · 11/04/2024 17:02

OP - you have not included in any of your responses any info on the distance your sister will have travelled and how long since you last saw each other

I do think the above is relevant as like most people I would not be offended in the slightest if I'd just come off a short haul flight and saw my sister less that a year ago but the chance of her being a bit put out is likely to increase the further she has travelled and the longer it has been seen you met up with her

LakeTiticaca · 11/04/2024 17:00

Why, Is he a sex offender or something?

pootlin · 11/04/2024 16:50

KreedKafer · 11/04/2024 16:35

I just don't really see what difference it makes to have a night's sleep beforehand. I really wouldn't feel the need to see everyone the moment I stepped off the plane.

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Again, it depends on the family. We’re the type of people that pile into a relative’s minibus and go to the airport en masse to welcome overseas visitors the moment they step off the plan. Then we stay up all night eating and chatting (holidays allowing).

Maybe being met at the airport is OP’s sister’s love language.

As I said, OP shouldn’t be made to feel bad for not wanting to go, but I can see why the sister may have been disappointed.

Original poster
Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 16:42

@Tyiue What way would you feel?

OP posts:
Tyiue · 11/04/2024 16:41

I wouldn't be "offended" BUT I would feel "some kind of way" as Americans put it. And it wouldn't be a nice feeling either.

IamnotSethRogan · 11/04/2024 16:41

I'd be happy to get a lift but maybe wonder why BIL can't do bedtime (unless it's a younger child who is BF)

NeverEnoughPants · 11/04/2024 16:40

I'm a bit confused as to why people are asking if it's a reverse.

Op has posed a question from a fairly neutral position.

misskatamari · 11/04/2024 16:40

No, it would be so weird to have a problem with this!

Nowayhayday · 11/04/2024 16:40

KreedKafer · 11/04/2024 16:37

I think the sister who seems 'a bit lame' is the one who can't cope with being driven to a hotel by someone unless they share DNA. The visiting sister just sounds needy and immature to me.

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Nowhere has it said what the sister thought/said about being picked up by bil

greyandbluewool · 11/04/2024 16:39

In my family my husband would have gone. I'm one of those women who others here get annoyed with because I don't like driving, especially not at night and as a couple we'd have much preferred me to do bedtime, him the pick up.
I am clearly more easy going than some high maintenance sisters however, because it wouldn't have even popped into my head to make a thing of this.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 11/04/2024 16:39

If Bil was Ted Bundy I wouldn't be very happy about it.😱

Nowayhayday · 11/04/2024 16:38

How far's the hotel from the house? I would bring them back to the house for some food if it wasn't more than 20 minutes away.

KreedKafer · 11/04/2024 16:37

candyisdandybutliquorisquicker · 11/04/2024 16:32

Also, "past 9pm" is hardly 3:00am! Sister seems a bit lame, to be honest.

I think the sister who seems 'a bit lame' is the one who can't cope with being driven to a hotel by someone unless they share DNA. The visiting sister just sounds needy and immature to me.

pootlin · 11/04/2024 16:37

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 16:32

@pootlin At 9-10 at night with young dc at home and after they’ve all got off a flight and probably want to eat and chill?

It really depends on the person. My sister lives abroad, she's a night owl and she would totally want to spend time with me at that time. But she wouldn't mind if I said no.

KreedKafer · 11/04/2024 16:35

pootlin · 11/04/2024 16:30

Not everyone sleeps that early. Some people would go to the hotel with their sister and catch up without distractions.

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I just don't really see what difference it makes to have a night's sleep beforehand. I really wouldn't feel the need to see everyone the moment I stepped off the plane.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 11/04/2024 16:35

candyisdandybutliquorisquicker · 11/04/2024 16:28

It would be the lack of effort that I'd be disappointed by, to be honest. But I acknowledge that I kind of roll my eyes at the "man can't do kids' bedtime" or "woman doesn't like night driving" reasons that other people don't seem to turn a hair at.

I live in the US and have hosted family from the UK countless times. I always do the airport pickup - the way I see it, if my family have gone to the trouble of taking an international trip to see me, the least I can do is pick them up! Though I agree with a previous poster that the context is important - is it a flight to Austria or Australia?

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Maybe it's not "man can't do bedtime" and it is a case of "woman won't drive at night"

@Stressedjustthinkingaboutit hasn't said why BiL picked her up, just that sis was doing bedtime/ looking after parents.

NeverEnoughPants · 11/04/2024 16:33

Nope, wouldn't be offended. I was visiting a friend once, and she ended up having to work nights, so I spent the whole first evening with her husband who I had never met before. While I was a bit hesitant, I wasn't offended - sometimes things don't work out in the mist ideal way.

I'm guessing you are the sister and it's your husband collecting (I've only read the op, no replies, so I'm not swayed by any responses).

Original poster
Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 16:32

@pootlin At 9-10 at night with young dc at home and after they’ve all got off a flight and probably want to eat and chill?

OP posts:
candyisdandybutliquorisquicker · 11/04/2024 16:32

Also, "past 9pm" is hardly 3:00am! Sister seems a bit lame, to be honest.