Page 5 | Would you be offended if your Bil picked you up?

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 2024-04-11T14:12:19+00:00

If you were flying to visit your sister on your own with your kids to another country. Would you be offended if her other half came to pick you up at the airport and drop you at your hotel? Reason being, it’s at night and your sister is doing bedtime with their dc, would this bother you? Or would you expect your sister to be the one to come? They will see each other the next morning

JoniBlue · 11/04/2024 20:53

Mind? Of course not, I wouldn't mind at. I wouldn't expect it nor ask it of somebody. That's what airport cabs/shuttles are for.

imforeverblowingbuttons · 11/04/2024 20:49

It wouldn't bother me at all

katepilar · 11/04/2024 20:49

Is the question actually "Would you be offended if your sister didnt pick you up personally and sent her husband instead as she was putting children to bed"?

YeahComeOnThen · 11/04/2024 20:46

i hope you have a fantastic time !!

YeahComeOnThen · 11/04/2024 20:46

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 20:07

@YeahComeOnThen We have only two
bedrooms, dc will come in with us. Sister and two kids can’t sleep on the sofa, plus I think that would be a bit too much of a chaotic house 😬

@Stressedjustthinkingaboutit

these days I'd rather stay in a hotel than at my brothers.

however, as a child at Christmas there would be 16 of us overnight & my grandparents would save their sanity & join us in the morning. It was utter chaos, but absolutely fabulous!! Miss those days!!

shoppingshamed · 11/04/2024 20:45

category12 · 11/04/2024 20:37

Yeah, I'd be disappointed. I'd wonder why your husband didn't do bedtime so you could have a catch-up with me on our own.

We're all different though, it would never cross my mind that not having a catch up the moment I'd landed was in anyway a bad thing

If you had that kind of relationship surely you'd be in regular contact not waiting to be face to face to swop news

TrishTrix · 11/04/2024 20:41

In my family my only hope of a lift would be my SIL.

My darling brother would helpfully suggest I get a taxi.

SIL would and has come out late to collect me!

(Brother is lovely about many other things just doesn't see the point of collecting people when taxis exist and are affordable).

category12 · 11/04/2024 20:37

Yeah, I'd be disappointed. I'd wonder why your husband didn't do bedtime so you could have a catch-up with me on our own.

PoochiesPinkEars · 11/04/2024 20:36

Plan sounds great and balances several considerations, not just visiting sister, which is fair

Catza · 11/04/2024 20:33

Jsym · 11/04/2024 20:21

I’ve been married nearly 20 years, and my in laws have always disliked me and have said plenty of vile stuff about me behind my back. They came to visit us last summer (they live in another country) and stayed with us for over a month. My husband is a very different person in the presence of his parents. All the toxic male traits resurface and are on full display - he shuts down and does what he wants/they want with little to no regard of what I want or how I feel.
Given this, and the fact that I was living under the same roof as them for such an extended period for the first time - my husband and I got into an argument one weekend. Things escalated and his parents found out that we’ve been arguing for a while. Nothing else happened in the following weeks, and they went back home. Ever since, my FiL has refused to talk to me or acknowledge my existence. He told my husband on the phone that he hated staying with us and would never come back. He has not spoken to me at all since then, and if I answer the phone, he hangs up. Or makes my MiL ring us, then asks to speak to my husband.

My husband seems to think this is ok, and continues to be very amenable to this arrangement. He talks to his dad quite often, and seems ok with just ignoring my existence. He says he thinks what his dad is doing is wrong but does nothing about it. I am very annoyed with my FiL, even more annoyed with my husband and most annoyed with myself for being annoyed!! Help!

And this pertains to the OP’s question how?

Polishedshoesalways · 11/04/2024 20:32

I really wouldn’t be bothered.

wplaf · 11/04/2024 20:30

Fine for him to pick her up, but if I was her, I’d wonder why you didn’t wait up to see me - having not seen eachother for ages.

Jsym · 11/04/2024 20:21

I’ve been married nearly 20 years, and my in laws have always disliked me and have said plenty of vile stuff about me behind my back. They came to visit us last summer (they live in another country) and stayed with us for over a month. My husband is a very different person in the presence of his parents. All the toxic male traits resurface and are on full display - he shuts down and does what he wants/they want with little to no regard of what I want or how I feel.
Given this, and the fact that I was living under the same roof as them for such an extended period for the first time - my husband and I got into an argument one weekend. Things escalated and his parents found out that we’ve been arguing for a while. Nothing else happened in the following weeks, and they went back home. Ever since, my FiL has refused to talk to me or acknowledge my existence. He told my husband on the phone that he hated staying with us and would never come back. He has not spoken to me at all since then, and if I answer the phone, he hangs up. Or makes my MiL ring us, then asks to speak to my husband.

My husband seems to think this is ok, and continues to be very amenable to this arrangement. He talks to his dad quite often, and seems ok with just ignoring my existence. He says he thinks what his dad is doing is wrong but does nothing about it. I am very annoyed with my FiL, even more annoyed with my husband and most annoyed with myself for being annoyed!! Help!

KomodoOhno · 11/04/2024 20:17

I can't imagine caring either way. Unless they dislike each other

LilyofftheValley · 11/04/2024 20:16

shoppingshamed · 11/04/2024 18:40

the OP has listed the reasons it's better for her husband to do it, why would anyone make problems when there's a perfectly obvious option?

Show quote history

I hadn't read the full thread, so my mistake.

No one was making problems, I just thought it odd she wouldn't hop in the car to meet her sister while the dad puts the kids to bed.

paddlinglikecrazy · 11/04/2024 20:14

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d send DH to pick my sister up and not think anything of it

NeedtostopusingMNsomuch · 11/04/2024 20:11

No, I don’t like driving and definitely not to an airport. Partner doesn’t like doing bedtime solo! We’re a family and help each other and if my sister would be offended I would be annoyed

Original poster

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 20:11

@Jsym ?

OP posts:

Jsym · 11/04/2024 20:09

AIBU in feeling angry and bitter towards my husband …..

Original poster

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 20:07

@YeahComeOnThen We have only two
bedrooms, dc will come in with us. Sister and two kids can’t sleep on the sofa, plus I think that would be a bit too much of a chaotic house 😬

OP posts:

YeahComeOnThen · 11/04/2024 20:04

Stressedjustthinkingaboutit · 11/04/2024 16:00

@YeahComeOnThen No room at the house as parents have come to stay too

@Stressedjustthinkingaboutit

depending on what part of the family it was I'd rather sleep on the sofa...

but another part of the family a hotel for sure!!

anyolddinosaur · 11/04/2024 19:59

No. I'd be pleased they were giving me a lift.

Ellmau · 11/04/2024 19:59

Unless BIL is creepy or problematic in some way, no.

Goneback2school · 11/04/2024 19:57

Not offended at all. It happened last week in fact, I was fully prepared to take an uber/ public transport especially as my sister, bil and kids had just arrived back from their own holiday earlier that day. Bil dropped sister and nephew home and came back to collect me and my 2.

LuluBlakey1 · 11/04/2024 19:53

Yes, I'd be very happy with that.