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AIBU?

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Would you expect a phone call with a thank you?

30 replies

Purplee977 · 11/04/2024 14:29

I’ve moved into my first home and a relative gifted me some towels that had never been used but were sat in their cupboard for years. Other relative brought them to me as they’d visited. Few days later on the phone Relative asked other relative and said ‘did she like her towels?’ ‘Yes she said they were nice’ then relative said ‘oh well I thought she would have rang me up and thanked me’ in quite an annoyed tone apparently. I’m due to see this relative at the weekend so was going to say thank you then. Or Aibu should I have rang them up and said thank you?

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lazyarse123 · 11/04/2024 18:46

Half of the pps just prove why there is a serious lack of manners in today's society. It would have taken two minutes out of your day to just acknowledge the fact that someone thought of you. Even if it's secondhand stuff she didn't have to make the effort to give it.
Yes I am of an age where manners are important.

BobbyBiscuits · 11/04/2024 18:33

It appears this person thought so. I probably would have called them if I knew they didn't do texting, but it could end up one of those long convos you can't cut short and the dinners on fire etc. so I do understand why you didn't.
Make it clear how much you 'love' the towels when you see her. She probably just wanted to talk to you so just chat plenty with her when you meet. She'll be fine I'm sure.

tigger1001 · 11/04/2024 18:32

MsLuxLisbon · 11/04/2024 18:18

I wouldn't have called, no. I would have done for a carefully thought out gift that she had actually spent money and effort on, but some old towels?

This! What are you saying thanks for? Thank you for emoting the crap out of your cupboards and giving it to me?

Ladyprehensile · 11/04/2024 18:26

Growlybear83 · 11/04/2024 15:15

Of course you should have phoned her to say thank you - it's just basic manners.

This ^

doubleshotcappuccino · 11/04/2024 18:25

Take a written thank you note when you see them and say you were waiting to present them a thanks in person . If they are older sounds like they just wanted a chat and some attention which is fine xx

ScubaDivingSpiderMonkey · 11/04/2024 18:22

I would have been like you and knowing I'd be seeing her shortly have saved my thanks till then.

On MN there's a contingent who phone, text, and send a card in thanks for every little thing.

StormingNorman · 11/04/2024 18:19

I would have said thanks.

MsLuxLisbon · 11/04/2024 18:18

I wouldn't have called, no. I would have done for a carefully thought out gift that she had actually spent money and effort on, but some old towels?

SirenSays · 11/04/2024 17:58

TheSnowyOwl · 11/04/2024 15:53

I would have done but I think a bunch of flowers and thank you when you visit will suffice.

This

TheSnowyOwl · 11/04/2024 15:53

I would have done but I think a bunch of flowers and thank you when you visit will suffice.

lap90 · 11/04/2024 15:52

I would have text but you said no mobile, so yes, i would have called.

W0tnow · 11/04/2024 15:51

Bring some flowers when you visit and thank her effusively. Job done, you’ll be back in the will for sure. 👍 💐

CelesteCunningham · 11/04/2024 15:51

I would have texted a younger relative, I like to think I would've rung someone older who doesn't text but you've just moved and I'm sure you're up to your eyeballs.

Say nothing about relative mentioning it to you and bring a thank you card and £1 bunch of daffodils with you when you visit and I'm sure all will be fine. Family politics!

Rainydayinlondon · 11/04/2024 15:49

Haydenn · 11/04/2024 14:34

My Nan used to gift all kinds of shit, it was never helpful, but a summons for a call- as soon as you recognise this it gets easier. It isn’t about the thanks, it’s about buying attention

Maybe she was lonely and knew that this was the only way she was going to get someone to chat to her?

Thingsthatgo · 11/04/2024 15:45

@LoveBluey no, probably not top priority and it would entirely depend on how much I liked the relative. If it were one of my lovely aunties, for example, I would have made it a priority.

DaisyChain505 · 11/04/2024 15:34

This is a generational thing. My grandparents expect me to call them on their birthdays and also to call them on my birthday to say thank you for my card from them however if I didn’t do either they would say it was extremely rude (even though they don’t call me to say thank you for their cards on their birthdays, I’m expected to be the person to do both!)

Watchthedoormat · 11/04/2024 15:20

I'd of waited until I saw them if a visit was in the pipeline.

GreigeO · 11/04/2024 15:18

Someone passing on the second hand shit does not require a call.

LoveBluey · 11/04/2024 15:18

Thingsthatgo · 11/04/2024 15:12

How long between receiving and visiting? Over a week or so and I would have called, or perhaps written a little notecard.

When you've just moved in to a new house you have loads of things to sort out and organise and finding and writing a note card is probably not top of your list. Especially when it's not even for a carefully hand selected gift but getting rid of some old towels that were cluttering up their cupboard.

Saying thanks in person when you see them would be absolutely fine.

tuvamoodyson · 11/04/2024 15:16

Yes, I would’ve called to say thanks.

Growlybear83 · 11/04/2024 15:15

Of course you should have phoned her to say thank you - it's just basic manners.

Thingsthatgo · 11/04/2024 15:12

How long between receiving and visiting? Over a week or so and I would have called, or perhaps written a little notecard.

TayIor · 11/04/2024 15:06

Yeah I'd have given a quick call

Haydenn · 11/04/2024 14:34

My Nan used to gift all kinds of shit, it was never helpful, but a summons for a call- as soon as you recognise this it gets easier. It isn’t about the thanks, it’s about buying attention

PeaceOnThePorch · 11/04/2024 14:34

As you were due to see the relative soon, then no, I don’t think you needed to call.

Relative sounds like hard work, I keep my distance from people like that.