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Original poster

To leave my son alone in the car?

89 replies

anxiousmumy · 11/04/2024 09:58

This morning I took my daughter to school and had to bring my 10 year old son, who is ill with a sickness bug but mostly OK in himself now but following 48 hour rule, as I have no childcare. Normally DH is working from home so I could leave him but not today so this was a new situation for me.

I made the split second decision to leave him in the car per his wishes (belted in the back. Parked up in car park) doors locked, as it was hammering down with rain. He was out of sight for maybe around 3 minutes as I ran my daughter to the gates and back. When I got back to the car I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental and now worried it could constitute as neglect and be reported. didn't think there was any specific law /age and I have never left them before, I wouldn't do it with my DD who is 7.

I'm wondering if I've done the wrong thing and what the general consensus is here?

OP posts:
Pineapples198 · 12/04/2024 10:53

He’s 10 - no issue whatsoever. Some 10 year olds walk home from school alone or spend the day alone while parents are at work. I err on the side of caution but regularly go out for up to an hour eg grocery shopping leaving my 9 and 11 year olds at home

Sjh15 · 12/04/2024 10:47

Usually yes I’d say fine
however I had a situation yesterday where I got locked outside of my car, my son got locked in, with my phone also in the car.

so now I’m not sure!

IndysMamaRex · 12/04/2024 10:46

He’s 10 & you were gone minutes I wouldn’t worry at all. The person can judge all they want but you’ve done nothing wrong

NK5f4e6c9X110f7eac49e · 12/04/2024 10:41

Absolutely fine!!

A funny story from a few years ago. I worked in a primary school and on bring your parent to school day. The parent had 2 children.

She spent the first 45 mins in her daughter’s class and then headed to her sons (aged 8).The teacher seemed surprised and said oh “John” isn’t in today! Parent was in panic mode as she’d brought him that morning. (She’d had an absence text but hadn’t checked phone as she was in school) Turns out he was sitting in the car and hadn’t got out!!

FlyingPizzaMonkey · 11/04/2024 17:29

Are you getting any help with your anxiety? Next year I expect he’ll want to start walking home by himself, they usually do in year 6.

I doubt she was judging you at all.

gould · 11/04/2024 17:16

I was expecting you to say that he was three years old

calligraphee · 11/04/2024 17:11

I saw a woman sat in a car opposite looking a bit judgmental She was quite likely to be thinking about something else entirely!

Purpleturtle45 · 11/04/2024 17:09

Wouldn't even think twice about leaving my 10 year old in the car for a few minutes, absolutely fine!

BoohooWoohoo · 11/04/2024 15:04

I would have left him at home unless your school run is super long. It’s “meaner” if you had made him leave the car and potentially infect others.

CurlewKate · 11/04/2024 14:44

Absolutely fine-don't worry! I reckon people we think have judgemental faces usually just have faces!

Olika · 11/04/2024 13:02

At 10 I was walking home alone from school and spending few hours by myself so for me leaving him in the car is ok.

FlyingPizzaMonkey · 11/04/2024 12:59

At 10 I would have left him at home. I also have a year 5 child.

JMSA · 11/04/2024 12:59

MamaGarl85 · 11/04/2024 10:03

I agree with others...would definately leave a 10 year old in car under these circumstances. I might even have been inclined to leave them at home if I wasn't going to be long!

Same.

JMSA · 11/04/2024 12:58

Of course it's fine.

Tdcp · 11/04/2024 12:56

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/04/2024 12:49

meganorks · Today 11:42
I'd have left him at home. Better to have a bowl and access to the toilet than drag him out in the car.”

Eh?
have I misunderstood? It’s a child, not a dog, yes?

The bowl and toilet was in reference to the child being sick..

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/04/2024 12:49

meganorks · Today 11:42
I'd have left him at home. Better to have a bowl and access to the toilet than drag him out in the car.”

Eh?
have I misunderstood? It’s a child, not a dog, yes?

Justploddingonandon · 11/04/2024 11:56

10 is fine, when I had a similar dilemma mine stayed in the car the first time and at home the next day when I was reasonably sure he wasn't going to actually be sick. Saying that our school lets you use the staff car park and will bring them out to the office in this situation if you ask.

1AngelicFruitCake · 11/04/2024 11:55

We’ve started leaving our year 5 child home alone when this sort of thing happens. Not for long but it’s to build up independence.

mrsm43s · 11/04/2024 11:53

Another one saying that at 10 I would have left them at home.

I doubt the woman was thinking anything at all about you, but if she was it was more likely "why has a sick older child been unnecessarily dragged out when they could have been left safe and warm at home" than "it's inappropriate to leave a 10 year old alone for a few minutes in the car".

Please don't let your anxiety disadvantage your children by stopping them from doing age appropriate things.

ManchesterLu · 11/04/2024 11:53

I think you're overthinking, and the woman in the other car wasn't thinking anything like what you thought. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the car I finding myself staring when I'm just thinking, but it's always an accident lol.

gamerchick · 11/04/2024 11:51

She probably gave you a dirty look because you were in 'her' parking spot and she was waiting for you to shift.

gamerchick · 11/04/2024 11:50

I would have left him at home at that age tucked up in bed.

MaryShelley1818 · 11/04/2024 11:47

10yr old - absolutely fine! And I say that as someone who is overly cautious myself.

Spreadthehappiness · 11/04/2024 11:47

At ten that’s perfectly fine !! I would have done the same.

Itsokish · 11/04/2024 11:45

Definitely leave at home next time ! Also your anxiety sounds like a problem for you. Maybe speak to GP.