To do the bare minimum to get by at work when you have a toddler and not feel guilty about that?

Minimum effort should be minimum wage then?

Why must someone else be picking up the slack? What evidence do you have that the OP not giving her all must mean not doing enough?

She hasn't said she's performing badly. You've just jumped to that conclusion without any basis for it.

Don't dismiss all working mothers this way.

I think so much depends on the job and the individual.

I have two young DC, eldest just about to turn 6, youngest will be 4 in a few months.

I've been able to do my job no problem but I haven't had the energy to take on the extras I would need for promotion. And I'm fine with that.

I do think it's good that your boss isn't mummy-tracking you, worth a chat to see if there are things you can do to progress that won't take more than you can give right now.

@luckylavender But that does not necessarily mean that she isn't doing her job properly or that she is relying on others to cover her. She says she's not giving her all, not that she's not doing a perfectly good job. The two are not synonymous.

I have zero problem with OP doing the minimum by the way, I think there are times in your career where you can take your foot off the pedal and I don't subscribe to giving my employer the best of me.

My objection is to the OP saying "I feel like it’s a joke to even expect this from a mother". This is so sexist and is a reason why mothers are often discounted from promotions or in recruitment. Even women without children are hurt by this attitude as there is no point in training someone up or promoting them if you think they may have a child at some point.

My experience is that there is zero correlation between effort at work and whether the person is a mother or not.

@TheCompactPussycat - yes she did. She said - I do what I can to get through the day but have quite literally a list of other things on my mind at all times. I cannot give my all in work

Absolutely. You don’t speak for all women or all mothers. Some? Yes, of course. It’s not unique to mothers though. Some people don’t give work their all. I worked extra hard after returning from mat leave to prove my worth.

She literally said "I cannot give my all in work when I’m also a mother.." and it's unreasonable to expect it.
So someone else must be picking up the slack.
She's blaming poor performance on being a mum.

I'm a GC and don't think I've compromised my career at all by having children. I certainly don't think it is helpful to say that it is automatically impossible - it depends on practice area, seniority, location etc

Snap! I am a GC in a reasonably large media organisation and I got promoted when my DS was 18 months. I never work 14 hour days but I work efficiently and I bring things (such as experience, confidence in decision making etc.) other than hours of graft to the role. One of my best people in my team is a dad in his 40s who does all the school runs so he's never around at 3 ish. This is also fine.

It's bullshit and damaging to women to say that this is impossible.

Has the OP said she isn't doing her job properly? Or expecting other people to pick up the slack? No.

She's just pushing back against an illiterate and innumerate boss who seems to think she wants to, or is even capable of, giving 110%.

Agree. Most of my friends work in law, accountancy, banking etc and only the ones without children are out of the house 14 hours a day. The ones with children have made things work differently

This really isn't true. It applies to a limited number of roles in the City but not universally.

I'm a GC and don't think I've compromised my career at all by having children. I certainly don't think it is helpful to say that it is automatically impossible - it depends on practice area, seniority, location etc

You are very unreasonable to think being a mother gives you excuses to not do your job properly or to be given special exemptions. By consequence you're implying that those without children should cover you or do more.
Go part-time. Reduce your workload. Demote yourself. But don't expect everyone to carry you because you're so special and have kids!

@ElaineMBenes all industries are different but most roles in law, accountancy, banking, financial services etc I honestly don't think it's helpful telling mothers they can be a nurturing and present mother and also work the hours required to progress in their career. If your out the house 14hrs + a day and only see your child at the weekend. Yes technically you are a mother and have a career but someone else is raising your child.

If you have a 9-5 job and that's what everyone else in the company works, then yes you can crack on with the promotions and be present with your child. I think all the posters saying they got promotions etc need to give abit more info on there chosen career and the hours required to succeed

You’re not going to get any empathy here. I say do what you need to do to get by - work don’t deserve you to sacrifice your wellbeing or quality of life, or your parenting, just so they have a hard worker to benefit them.

Give it the minimum (note this is the minimum, not ‘less than’ what you should be doing) and get home to your baby!

I agree.

Women fought hard for equality so I find this attitude difficult honestly.

I work with 5 or 6 mothers of toddlers, and a few men also

If they don't give the job their all it could mean life or death situation occurring for all of us

We are prison officers

Do you expect every professional you meet who has children to be doing the bare minimum? I’m a teacher, many of my colleagues have young children, will you be happy for your child to be taught by a teacher putting in minimal effort? What about your GP, nurse or other doctor? Are you happy for them to put in minimal effort? What about working dads? Why should they have to put in the effort whilst working mums get to coats by doing the bare minimum?

When at work I'm all about work. I told the daycare people that unless I hear from them I assume my child is having a great time.
If you don't want a promotion that's fine. But being a parent is no excuse for not doing your job to the best of your ability.
Everyone has stuff going on in their lives, parent or not. They may have some financial issues, a family member going through a tough divorce, an elderly parent with dementia, so on and so on. Your kid is your kid forever - the responsibility and head space they take up does not diminish for well into adulthood - are you going to use them as an excuse your whole career?

This is a very narrow view of what constitutes a 'successful professional career'.

Honestly this annoys me. I am working mother. Gave it 100% when I was at my role and now ultimately do 5 days works in 4 days .
Fine if you've no ambition to progress etc as you have other priorities bits lots or women do not feel the same .

Ooooh now THATS an interesting take in it!!!

Op?? Any thoughts....?

I don’t think an employer should assume anything other than that you want to progress, unless you tell them otherwise. After having children I felt that my managers assumed I didn’t want to progress and I think this had a negative impact on my career. It should be something you discuss without a patronising assumption being made that mothers with young children wouldn’t want to be promoted.