To think most working mums are overwhelmed?

We're not having it all, we're doing it all

And they probably allocated those 10 spaces to siblings of kids already in wraparound before opening them up to the wider audience…

I do not feel overwhelmed, occasionally yes but it’s certainly not usual. Kids are 10 and 13 though, DH is SAHD.

Little kids pre-school is very different, and the physical pressures are intense sometimes. Overwhelmed? Not normally. Very firmly “whelmed” as it were? Oh yes…..

I'm not at all overwhelmed. I am lucky that I have one healthy and happy dd13, good MH, run my own business (with lots of time off), dh works full time. I think the key is one child. Everyone with more looks way more stressed (understandably).

Yes, the only good thing to come out of Covid was that it was difficult for the MD (who hates people working from home) to stop me allowing my 2 staff who are mothers of young children to be able to work from home.

I have 2 very hard working employees who are so grateful to be able to work for home that they are the best employees I have ever had.

If Covid hadn't happened, these 2 employees would be so stressed with their commute in to London and having to juggle child care that their productivity would be much reduced.

I haven’t read the whole thread, so this may have already been said.

The full time work week is historically based on that person having someone at home to wash and iron your clothes, to cook your dinner, to clean your house, and to do your DCs school runs. After you got back from work and ate your cooked dinner, you could relax for the rest of the evening.

Is it a surprise that we struggle to fit in the jobs listed above on top of our careers? It’s not possible in 2024 for many people to own homes and to have one person doing the household jobs and one person working outside of the home. Many families need two earners in order to cover the bills today.

This.

I really get frustrated when a threads pops up with the do you work with kids around type questions as everyone suddenly jumps on the one person who dares mention they do.

I literally don’t know any company right now where people are not working around kids at some point I’m not saying it’s something that needs to be done 24/7 or all the time but sometimes we have no choice.

God bless the flexibility that has come from Covid (the only good thing that came out of that mess), because without that I wouldnt have been able to return to work and we would have had to sell our house and uproot our kids to move away somewhere cheaper away from
friends and family.

im fortunate I have had managers who are trusting in me and my work and my kids are happy.

even with all this its still bloody overwhelming 🤣

What about working dads.

Include everyone. I know some angry dad will be lurking here - even though it’s mumsnet

It depends, I do only have one DC though so think that helps! Her dad and I have split up and I have her 7 nights a week (eg no overnights at dad's) but he has DD 3 days a week during my work hours, then nursery 2 days. I think I am less overwhelmed since the break up as I have to force myself to be more organised. And I try not to stress if I don't manage to stay on top of housework throughout the week, which I feel is easier when you only have yourself to answer to!

I'm overwhelmed. I only work 27 hours and that one day when I'm off work is full to the brim with life admin, exercise, housework, everything I need to do.
Single parent, 2 DC, and something has to give. Either exercise, housework, work, or social life.
Currently it's work that's losing out as I'm burnt out and sit staring at my screen mindlessly for hours. And housework (house is ok, tidy enough but not CLEAN)
I'm fucking knackered all the time

I'm totally fine with working FT and managing the house alone (SP) but what I find really hard to deal with is the additional support my ND kids need because it's unpredictable, illogical and I can't fix it. Work and home, I can plan, have routines, find solutions, work smarter etc but if one of them has a MH issue, develops EBSA, won't leave the house or whatever, that then becomes a huge issue. One of mine is very averse to dentists and vaccinations. For most families that might be just a moan and a foot drag. For me its weeks of planning and expectation management and anxiety on my part about refusal to go or refusal on the spot which is embarrassing and awkward.

I mean, is this news? Of course this issue is as old as time. Even those women who have very equal parenting with their husbands - just throw in a sick parent or whatever and it unbalances things (not to say men don't have sick parents, but somehow a female sibling takes care of it), and women still seem to do the social admin in families.
It's a hard juggle. Helen Gurley Brown (Having It All) - didn't have kids. and Shirley Conran's Superwoman book was how we CAN'T live up to this ideal. These were written in the 1970s, though hardly new then either, just that at that time more women were in high powered jobs (Brown edited Cosmopolitan, Conran launched Femail for the Daily Mail and was woman's editor on The Observer).
Sad that we haven't been able to find solutions to these issues decades later.

Yes most definitely.

Well, everyone makes their own choices.
I was a very observant kid, so at 13 I decided not to have kids and as a bonus I sorted myself out through a lucrative marriage so that I don't need to work for living.
Married 20 years.
Throw the hate in, however, this was really
a conscious choice and as a result I have very little to push myself for at 45 yo.
Hopefully it lasts.

YANBU but I think most mums throughout history have always felt like this, whether working or not!

Yeah, they used to dish out sedatives generously to working mums in the 60s and 70s but they were highly addictive and affected memory so they stopped. Now we just have alcohol and mental.health issues.

If they’re not I’m very impressed. I’m a SAHM to one child and I get overwhelmed. He is only a baby so that might be why but still I definitely couldn’t cope with working on top of this. I don’t know how people do it.

I couldn't do it. I did work fulltime but have now gone to just two days a week. DS has additional needs, quite complex and the pressure was too much and something was going to give.
Being a SAHM (which I will be full time in August) is hard too though. It was easier with my DDs as we had grandparents to help/give me an occasional break but they are too elderly now.
Everything appointments, therapy, cooking, cleaning is down to me as DH works and that is hard too.

This!!

Parenting is hard work, especially if you don't have a partner or family to support you, add working on top of that and you basically have a recipe for burn out. If you or your child have extra support needs then I imagine it is even harder (not been there so don't want to comment too much on other's behalf).

Yes, this! I’m widowed and it would be ‘fine’ if I had my one NT child, but the ND one with mental health difficulties is tipping me over the edge. But I can pay the bills. If my husband was alive and kids were both NT, life would be a piece of cake and I’m sure I’d be very smug about my fantastic parenting and work life balance.

Sick days I WFH anyway so I work with her at home, luckily my employers are great and I can always make up the time in the evening anyway. Holidays we use holiday club or take leave, although we prefer to save our leave to actually travel (I am currently mumsnetting from a sun lounger), there is one at her school so luckily that’s not too much of a problem.

Oh and I do WFH permanently which makes life a lot easier as I can do every single drop off and pick up!

Busy, but not overwhelmed. However, I have one child who is in y1 and I work school hours (28 hours a week). So yes I don’t feel like I have a lot of time to myself, but I realise we’re really lucky to have the balance that we do. I don’t personally want to work any more hours than I do currently because we have zero outside help with our child, and my husband works more / travels for work. I appreciate we’re lucky to be able to do this financially!

That is why being able to WFH is so important.

All these companies who insist on people having to go in to the office when it isn't necessary are causing so much stress for working mothers and are losing out because their employees are so stressed.

I am a manager for 2 working mothers and I don't care when or where they do their work as long as the work is done.