To think most working mums are overwhelmed?

I get overwhelmed but then I speak up and dh takes on extra. I added a postgrad course which I’m hoping will be life changing when it ends and that stress goes. Never again will I have such a stupid midlife crisis on top of 3 dc and a full time job.

For me Its my sen kids making it harder
So trips out exhausting.
11yo who wont get dressed easily.
Mine wwere also very ill 3-4 and 7yo.
Imo the set up of the country makes all harder
Crap public transport expensive breaks down

School only till 3/4pm
parents basically doing all the reading rteaching/speklling and tt

School doing so limited sport
Wont put suntan lotion

Dont teach swimming to actual level

Behaviour of other kids making yours worse

Not knowing which school your child will get from your area

No school trips so any cultural is at home

That’s largely because I suspect what the OP is referring to has not hit you yet. One child in nursery and working full time is easy to balance. Balance is still in the adults favour. As they get older, school ages, siblings etc, it is an entirely different ball game.

It definitely passes. It was a juggling act when DD was younger, but she's 15 now. We only have the one (by choice), and life is an absolute breeze now. She is a really good, sensible, head screwed on teen so no worries about wrong crowds etc.

In fact, just got back from a lovely day trip to London.

It does pass OP.

Yes I'm overwhelmed at times and even when I'm not actively feeling overwhelmed I'm always on the edge

This is definitely me too... in a constant state of mild panic that I should be doing everything quicker because there's still so much to do. Even now, writing this, I'm thinking about that email that I still need to write tonight. And the online shopping that I still need to do. And the activities I want to plan for my DS. And... a milion other things.

Working full time with young kids is really something else. The constant pressure is huge.

This is me...a toddler, a teen, a tween and two very frail 80 year olds who I feel extreme guilt about when I miss a visit. It's hard isn't it.

See, your post is interesting because SHOULD we feel like that? Absolutely not!! But we do! Society has a lot of expectations that we somehow feel we need to keep up with, Cost of living is crazy so we need to be working harder/earning more. However we should always be 100% available for our kids as well as household chores, homework etc too. It’s really unrealistic! I feel burnt out, and all I want is to have quality time with my kids, where I don’t have to worry about the 101 things on my todo list!

Yanbu

YANBU - I feel fairly lucky since I have one child and as a teacher I get the holidays. However I do at least 90% of all other life admin and my partner does small bits (washing up when he fancies it and usually takes DS to karate on a Wednesday and Friday evening). However add in that my DP has been really unwell with an autoimmune condition at the moment and with no family support nearby, things have been really exhausting. There’s no way I could handle having more than one child.

Nah, I picked my toddler up from daycare, met up with my DH for a rock climbing session - I played/climbed with our DS while my DH did his training session. I took DS home and fed him while my DH finished his climbing session. And while DS finished his food, I tidied the kitchen and popped a tray of cookies in the oven, so my DH would come home from his climbing session to freshly baked cookies and a deliciously smelling house.

But yeah... All kidding aside. I managed this today, but most days I'm too exhausted to form coherent sentences, never mind food shopping and cooking, by evening time. And taking an angry and tired toddler to a grocery store after work is just... Overwhelming.

I work full time and found the teen years much more difficult. Both DS’s have ADHD and have suffered from bouts of poor mental health. It’s been very hard not being available to them when they’ve needed emotional support. Im
not really supposed to have my mobile in surgery (dental) but my boss is very understanding and knows there might be times i’m needed even just for a reassuring text or two.

No idea if it’s normal but yep, also feel like this!

I don’t think limited availability is quite the same as doesn’t exist anywhere.

This is definitely us. I work full time in a demanding role with 2 DC, aged 1 and 6. Its bloody relentless and that's with a very supportive partner who works 4 days a week which takes the pressure off a bit. It's like a military operation just getting through the basics of a week. That said it's sort of my choice and I'm happy with it.

But that's the same now. There's more childminders but many more working parents. Neither of the closest schools to me, despite being reasonably sized and in an area of mainly two parents as working professionals, offered wrap-around care when I applied for my child.

Sorry, lots compared to twenty years ago. Back then, you had to join a wait list as soon as you were pregnant to three/four childminders to be sure of a place in a year’s time. We didn’t have after school clubs then.

There are not lots of childminders, at all. There are two that collect from our (large) school, and none at the next closest. A lot gave up during Covid. Places at after-school club are also very limited - I know someone who's 15th in line for a Wednesday place.

I have such huge respect for lone parents and have never understood how anyone can be anything but filled with admiration of how people are coping with managing a house and kids alone. Let alone disabled kids I really hope you feel better and get some rest/support. 💐

Dabralor
Would be interested to see a day in the life of the 12% who voted yabu - what is their secret and can I have some please?!?!?

For me it's:
-1 NT and healthy child
-Flexible working pattern and getting well paid
-A dh who will come in from work and get the hoover out / stick a wash on whilst I'm cooking, basically does more than his fair share
-supportive friends and family

• lots of free time to go to gym, watch Netflix, read a book, have beauty treatments, meet friends
• no other caring responsibilities. Parents are both healthy and mid 60's

A domestic load that is shared equally, and enough extra money to buy in a bit of help. Sorry. I know that's not the answer anybody wants to hear.

FWIW - there was a rocky patch when baby #1 was born and he expected me to take the lead on everything baby. I used a combination of yelling, reasoning, and pointing out that my uterus didn't endoe me with magical baby knowledge and I was just as clueless and terrified as him to get us rebalanced eventually. We also shared the parental leave both times including stints of him at home with the baby while I worked, and we'd live in a better world if more couples were willing and able to do this.

I expect this is the case, a hands on DH that pulls his weight or a stressed out Mum that has to do everything and have an extra man child to mother.

I’ve skim read this thread and am I right in thinking that there is a correlation between those people co parenting with a partner that does their fair share and the ‘I don’t find it overwhelming’ camp?

It was hard work, but I wouldn't say overwhelming. But, I don't care about societal expectations, we both dropped down to 30 hours, my other half did a proper 50% of childcare and our house was a complete mess for a few years.

Would be interested to see a day in the life of the 12% who voted yabu - what is their secret and can I have some please?!?!?