Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it ok to buy someone a self help book?

66 replies

FlowersInAFlowerBed · 10/04/2024 19:56

What's your opinion on buying someone (specifically an ex) a self help book? Nice sentiment? Passive aggressive? How would you feel to receive one? Someone called me bitter for not seeing it as a nice gesture..

YABU - it's fine

YANBU - not a good choice of gift.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 10/04/2024 20:42

FlowersInAFlowerBed · 10/04/2024 20:36

Hmm these comments are very different from the ones I received on another group? Everyone said it was a nice gesture and I was obviously feeling bitter and nothing wrong with trying to improve as a person

But we're Rock

AvocadoSurprise · 10/04/2024 20:42

Having been on the receiving end of such a "gift" I can tell you I was quite upset & offended to receive it!

LoobyDop · 10/04/2024 20:38

There’s nothing wrong with trying to improve as a person as long as you’re the one deciding you need improvement.

Original poster
FlowersInAFlowerBed · 10/04/2024 20:36

Hmm these comments are very different from the ones I received on another group? Everyone said it was a nice gesture and I was obviously feeling bitter and nothing wrong with trying to improve as a person

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 10/04/2024 20:34

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 10/04/2024 20:24

Don’t do it

I think the OP is the one who was given the book

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 10/04/2024 20:24

Don’t do it

AutumnCrow · 10/04/2024 20:24

Rude, intrusive, weird, pointed, pathetic ... you get my drift.

This isn't like my dad sending me a newspaper cutting from his newspaper about some supposed new miracle cure for eczema or whatever, trying to be genuinely helpful.

It's a mean and unnecessary dig.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 10/04/2024 20:24

Patronising

YouwouldthinkIhavemoresense · 10/04/2024 20:23

Nah that’s rude. I’d be well fucked off. It would likely cause an argument.

GoodVibesHere · 10/04/2024 20:22

I think it's not a great gift to give unless the person has asked for it. Nobody really wants to be given a 'how to be a nicer person' type of book!!

thistimelastweek · 10/04/2024 20:22

But obviously we want to know what the book was.

thistimelastweek · 10/04/2024 20:21

What everyone else said

reelcat · 10/04/2024 20:20

Rude unless they ask for it

DutchHouse · 10/04/2024 19:58

I’d be offended unless it was a family member genuinely trying to help (e.g. with anxiety) or it was a book they found intriguing and wanted to share. Otherwise yes I think rude. Especially if a parenting book or something like that!

Tatas · 10/04/2024 19:58

Passive aggressive unless they've mentioned wanting that exact book!

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/04/2024 19:58

Only if they asked for one. If not, rude.

Swipe left for the next trending thread