To ask why you sought an ADHD diagnosis in adulthood?

Right. No problem. You don't get me, I don't get you. Fair enough.

I was at university studying to be an operating department practitioner. My mentor mentioned when I was scrubbing I needed to look at my attention as it was everywhere round the room and not on the task. He used to be a teacher. Looked up attention issues and adhd came up.

I went to my gp and was referred but uni helped pay for a private diagnosis. I got an NHS one a year later at 41. Covid happened shortly after and I didn’t finish my course.

Now stuck in an NHS loop of needing a medication review and not had medication and now been without medication for nearly 2 years. I’ve also moved so waiting for the service to take me that should have done years ago but obvs massively oversubscribed now. It wasn’t a fashionable diagnosis when I got mine now every YouTuber and their uncle has it. ADHD is bloody hard to live with.

And I don't know why you needed to jump straight to "You sound like you're seeking drugs you don't need", Rainbow, but there we are.

I don't think I am ND but my brother has just been diagnosed as ADHD in his 30's. His doctor had queried his periods of depression apparently and asked for him to consider testing. I don't think my brother would ever have considered it. I think my dad might be ND in some way but I don't think he'll ever have testing.

I'm not sure why you've felt the need to be so nasty with your 'happy now' response.

I'm diagnosed AuDHD. My young daughter is diagnosed Autistic and we are awaiting her ADHD assessment. It's a nightmare; the wait times, the disbelief, the struggles, the self harm, school refusal, friendship issues, self doubt, anxiety, panic attacks. The list goes on. As a Neurodivergent single parent, I interact on MN frequently with others in similar situations and always receive a positive and understanding response.

You posted what seemed like a very flippant reply to this thread, with no further explanation. I apologised for my Autistic self questioning further information. From one Neurodivergent person to another, I thought you may have understood. It seems not. I'm bowing out of this conversation now as it's just too much for me.

I apologise again for questioning you, but I did so because I did not understand your post.

I technically fulfil the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, but have no interest in the diagnosis itself, as I feel my difficulties are already fully encompassed by my ASD diagnosis. There are symptoms which are common to ASD and ADHD which are equally amenable to drug treatment regardless of which diagnosis is given, but the NHS will only try drug treatment if the ADHD label is present. So, I asked for an NHS ADHD assessment because I wanted to try stimulants. To me my ADHD diagnosis is superfluous except insofar as it opens bureaucratic doors for me.

Happy now?

Edit: I mean, surely getting drugs is one of the main reasons to seek an ADHD diagnosis. Sure, there's self-understanding, validation, information that might help with strategies or therapies, but getting drugs is a really really big part of it for a lot of people.

Do you mean because you felt you had ADHD and needed them?

Your comment just sounds a bit flippant and like you were seeking drugs you perhaps didn't need otherwise.

Forgive my Autism, but I'm confused.

Because I wanted some stimulants.

Sorry to hear about those who feel they won't be believed by their GP, or feel that they will be seen to be 'jumping on the bandwagon'

It's particularly important to look after ourselves as we age, and if this involves looking into possible neurodivergence, then that should be taken seriously.

I 'managed' most of my life, but started to fall apart when my physical health fell off a cliff, approaching 50. Menopause can also be a massive trigger. It amplifies Autistic and ADHD symptoms. This partially explains why a lot of women seek diagnosis as older adults.

I feel particularly sad when I see threads with faux naivety around the 'explosion in diagnosis' It's been under diagnosed for years. It's been misunderstood and women (largely) have been thrown under a bus over the past few decades, as most research went into typical male presentation.

The charity Young Minds estimates that 1 in 20 young people have ADHD. If we are to think of that and apply it to us as adults (then add in any physical health issues or menopause that makes it even harder to cope with every day life) then there's our answer. Thousands of middle aged women with neurodivergence, most of whom have been struggling for years, many of whom have been misdiagnosed previously, and many of whom have never been taken seriously.

It's exhausting, but my heartfelt advice is to see your GP armed with evidence. Fill in the official online screeners (can be found on the ADHD UK website) and this will assist with the process, as it forms part of the pre assessment anyway.

I was broken. I now understand myself and actually rather quite who I am now. I'm pleased I sought diagnosis, and I'm bloody proud of myself that I did it.

A lot of us women with Autism and / or ADHD find that we finally 'forgive ourselves' once we know.

Typo

@XenoBitch that’s rubbish (and other rude words)

One practical thing I do for my adhd best friend is advocate for her, it’s easier to do than doing for myself. Do you have someone who could do this for you?

@XenoBitch see my response to Wotcher above. I'm sorry you're feeling exhausted, you poor thing - it is so exhausting. Good luck to you too. X

@Wotcher I'd recommend printing out a screening test for ADHD - the Adult Self Rating Scale V1.1 is a good one to use as it was developed by the WHO. The one you want has 18 questions.
To be diagnosed with ADHD, you need to have a certain number of symptoms. These symptoms need to have been present since childhood and they need to significantly affect your life.
If you meet the criteria for further investigation, take a copy of the test to your GP appointment along with some concrete examples from childhood and now, and a list of ways in which your symptoms are significantly negatively affecting your life.
You'll feel more confident if you can go to an appointment clutching some solid evidence, and the GP will be more likely to take you seriously.

Even if you don't have ADHD, though, it might be that you could benefit from a bit of support with your executive functioning skills (brain processes that enable us to plan, prioritise, organise, inhibit our responses etc.) EF skills can suffer for all sorts of reasons other than ADHD - stress, menopause, illness etc.

Good luck! X

Same here. My GP fobs me off with anxiety for everything!
I don't have the spoons to fight tbh.

I have been wanting to contact the GP for an assessment as I struggle daily with just simple life tasks and I’m struggling at work. If I had a diagnosis (which I don’t really want, I’d rather be “normal”) then at least work would know why I am like I am.

However I’m too anxious to call the GP, I don’t know what to say and think they’d just think I was jumping on the bandwagon.

Simply because I was drowning in life and I couldn’t work out why I couldn’t cope like everyone else seemed to… I know people say oh life is busy, everyone struggles to keep their shit together! But I was on a whole other level of not coping, and I had literally pared my life to work, eating and the very basics of housekeeping - still fell apart and couldn’t manage.

Also I was struggling to progress in my career because I was inconsistent in my productivity and my professional development.

I was lying so much to cover my adhd symptoms I hated myself.

Also for as long as I can remember I was mildly depressed, even as a 5 year old.

When the pandemic hit my life imploded and i thought I had a brain tumour or dementia/alzheimers - then I read something and it all became very clear that I had adhd.

Took a little bit longer to confess to my partner that i thought I had it, I was worried he would not want to have kids for fear of me passing on my wonky genes (thankfully he does not think this and is wonderfully supportive in adapting to my adhd.)

I haven’t looked back since getting my private diagnosis (did have a little grief period because I felt that an earlier diagnosis would have made so much of my life easier and I felt cheated) and the meds have been amazing along with adhd coaching.

Obviously it’s each to their own but I don’t regret getting a diagonal or going private, for me it’s been an utter lifesaver - and I think that is absolutely why people seek a diagosis, to understand themselves and make sense of their struggles and feelings.

I was shown a list of symptoms because my dd thought they sounded like her.

I pointed out they also were exactly like me and all my family

Got a diagnosis. Meds have been a life changer

I have been to the GP and am awaiting an appointment. I have spent my life feeling like there is something wrong with me that I can't put my finger on. I have struggled socially and at work. I've made terrible decisions and don't seem to learn from them. I'm often consumed by regret and guilt at how my actions and choices impact on my life and on people around me. I am very anxious a lot of the time. I've been accused of being lazy, disrespectful and careless, even though I feel like I'm trying really hard. A diagnosis would help me make sense of my life and hopefully be a bit more compassionate towards myself.

Because I feel like a complete underachieving loser. I'm forever losing things and getting overwhelmed. I neglect myself, resulting in a sky high BMI due to compulsive eating and a loose tooth due to shite oral hygiene. I should be in some high-flying career (Oxbridge master's degree), but instead I'm a part-time teacher as it's all I can cope with. I want some validation that I'm not a pathetic failure, just different😥

@terriblyangryattimes this was so kind of you to respond that way. I'm very touched actually. I think there's still a lot of turmoil and buried 'steam' underneath it all, that is not all exorcised (another realisation that creeps up), but that could just be personality! It has helped, but slowly. It would help in battalions if I was concerned about another close relative I cared about.

Dunno. My therapist was adamant so I went for it.

Telling people isn't helpful because they ask questions like "what is the point at your age?"

I don't know how it is helpful. I'm still waiting for this magical support and understanding. Everything is more confusing for me. I'm 47.

It is something I am seriously considering now.
I am seeing a MH health peer support worker, and she is saying I should be assessed. She has ADHD herself, and we are so alike it is ridiculous.
I have spent my whole life thinking I am broken, lazy, that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. My life and house is chaos, and I can't work.
For the record, I don't use Tik Tok or anything like that, so I have not been influenced by videos on there.
My DP has ASD, and said he felt drawn to me as he assumed I was ND. I have an EUPD diagnosis (which I now understand is now horribly misdiagnosed).
However, I am put off by the long waiting list, and the form filling!

Following to read later as I've had my forms about a year and not gone back to the Dr!

It's about knowing yourself and being able to contextualise and understand things that might have affected you from childhood into adulthood, and having an explanation for why some things for you seem different or harder than they are for the majority. I don't have adhd, and don't suspect I have it either. But a diagnosis of autism and adhd in my son has helped me to understand difficulties I had in childhood and difficulties relating to others that I still have today. I'm not formally diagnosed, but I'm 100% someone with ASD (in my own belief) like my son. It used to really harm my mental health, but now I have a better understanding, I can be kinder to myself. And be better at taking recovery time from social interaction. I also now understand why I'm good at my job where others struggle (because it involves being firm with people and holding them and organisations to account, which most non-ASD folk find socially awkward and embarrassing).

What everyone has said above plus so I can access medication.