For thinking DH shouldn't be buying alcohol for DSs mates

This mentality is just odd to me, why not get them started on drugs too, dont want them to go bingeing drugs so why not ease them into it.

Its just bizarre that its felt people have to drink, like its so essential you have to be trained up in it! Then people who dont want to drink get made to feel like they are odd. Shocking idea but alcohol and regular drinking just isnt essential or necessary and not every teenager wants to get wasted just because their parents decide they need training up in drinking.

If you can teach them responsible drinking at 14 then surely you can do the same at 18 or does it need to be done when its young enough to really start messing their bodies up?

Unless he has permission from their parents then no way. 14 isn't old enough to be drinking in my opinion, 16 yes but not 14.

I hate the mentality in this country that teens have to drink and I would be furious if I found out someone was giving my child the opportunity to drink at 14, thats ridiculous, I dont care how many people think its fine, its damaging to their bodies and just reading these threads and seeing how many people think drinking is so essential that it needs to be introduced at a young age just proves the alcohol issues we have.

I am very glad my DD has zero interest in alcohol and doesnt feel the need to drink just because its the done thing because I despair at all these cool parents encouraging and supplying their kids with alcohol at a young age which then pressures their friends.

Like many others on this thread, I would be livid if my child was being supplied with alcohol by an adult. I am not levelling this accusation at your husband, OP, you say he's a good man who made a foolish decision, but if this was happening with my child, grooming is the place my mind would go first. I'm very suspicious of the motives of adults who get involved in supplying intoxicants or other illegal substances to underage kids. Very suspicious.

Edit: to clarify, I think you need your DH to be aware that some parents will draw this conclusion and behave accordingly.

in an ideal world they wouldn't touch a drop until they were 18

I don't think that is ideal actually. It makes alcohol this banned, mysterious thing and kids can go overboard with it when they hit 18 because they haven't learned responsible drinking.

Loving the sporty=no drinking analogy 😁
Wait until they get to uni and join the teams .... the initiation ceremonies! 😮

Indeed... Smashed on pilfered whisky on muddy farmland. Surely that still goes on though? My first illicit drink was was at a barn dance when my friend won a bottle of Lambrusco at the tombola. We were 9! 🤣😯😱

He's desperate to be the cool dad isn't he? If I found out your twat of a DH in a desperate attempt to cling on to any semblance of youth was buying my kid alcohol I'd have a few words to say to him. My FIL had has just died of alcohol related disease. I don't need anyone encouraging my teens to drink. Some of those kids your DH is buying alcohol for are the alcoholics of the future.

I don’t allow my Y10 to drink and neither he or his mates have shown any interest at all in it (yet). I’d also be apoplectic with rage if I found out another parent was condoning underage drinking. They are still very young for it just yet.

My kids are only little and I don't think there's really a right or wrong answer with this stuff and I understand your point of view. But the previous PP is right that there is a lot of research easily findable via Google about the harms of underage drinking and that people who drink underage are significantly more likely to end up with problem drinking habits as adults than people who did not drink underage. I'm obviously not saying everyone who drank underage develops alcohol problems - but statistically it is more likely that why. As a parent I use evidence based research to inform my approaches towards my children as I want to give them as much advantage as I can. Statistically, in terms of the likelihood of developing problem drinking, it's a disadvantage, on a population level, to access alcohol underage.

I did not drink until I was 18, had a great time then and never had any issues with alcohol, was never a regular drinker. Now at 30 I drink very rarely. I also was not allowed sleepovers until I was in sixth-form either so there was a very limited period of time before I was 18 in which I could have said I was staying elsewhere and actually going somewhere else (and I didn't). Until then, my DF or a friend's parent would pick me up from parties so they always knew where we were and saw us at the end of it. We tended to be home before midnight. This was strict but unheard of as some of my friends had parents with similar approaches. Further to that, I was one of the older children in the school year, so hardly anybody else had ID before me anyway so I was very popular when I hit 18! I basically enabled my friendship group to start going to clubs and things tbh, haha. We were a pretty sensible bunch on the whole tbh though.

I hope I can protect my own children as well as my DPs protected me and my siblings.

This is why this fucking country has a problem with alcohol. Just because "you tried it as a teen" or "teens will just go and get it from somewhere else" doesn't give you the authority to supply someone else's child with alcohol.

I would be fucking livid and like a PP I would be tempted to call the police. Change the narrative around teenage drinking.

He's an idiot. Also parents will be told in time and his reputation damaged.

They are underage but If your husband doesn’t buy it they will still be able to get it from a corner shop , probably overpriced and could be a mix of anything . I’d rather know they were having something ‘proper’ , and you’ll know how much they’re having

It’s not illegal for a child over 5 to drink alcohol on private premises as well as at home so it’s not actually a grey area for your DS to drink there.

@Thehalls191 yes, I agree that most of us drank when we were young too, but that does not mean we should have. I know a lot of kids who were into stealing as well. Kids would be kids, right? Where I live right now, marijuana is legal, before you know it, it will be legal in your country too. What I am trying to say, alcohol IS illegal for the underage children. Allowing them to drink you are basically telling them that it is sometimes ok to break the law, right, not to mention that drinking is dangerous for young kids. When you are teaching your kids to drive, do you tell them to follow the rules, or do you tell them it is ok to speed because most of us do it anyway?

I am just saying that as a parent you should give an example of how things should be, teach them right and wrong and teach by example.

I have a 15 year old and I’d be very angry if one of her friends parents were supplying alcohol especially without asking me first but then I don’t agree with 15 year olds drinking. The reason he’s probably been asked is because their own parents do not want them to have it.

We were all young once and drank before we were of age, so I understand and accept that the kids would be experimenting. However, I think that my job as a parent is to stand the ground and to be on the side of the law. Unfortunately, I know many, many parents who do this, supply alcohol to their own children, host parties where they supply alcohol to other children as well etc. I too agree that this is a criminal behaviour and should be dealt with as such. I just wonder what else these people supply for their under-aged kids and friends? Do they buy them drugs too? Also, how do they explain the fact that they are breaking the law? How do they justify it?

Btw 14 and 15 is really young.

He absolutely should not be supplying alcohol to children and I personally wouldn't buy it for my own 14/15 year old either.

Everyone remembers being 14 don't they? A few beers is fine.

At least their not in a field with a bottle of vodka like we all were in the late 90s/00s.

At least 3 of my other dc have rang me when they have found themselves in awful situations.. Vital to be on the end of your phone... I ds was there when a dm was assaulting her ds.. Same situation with teen dd's... I ds found himself at a house party where the dps were pissed and he wanted to come home. Party for primary school age dc..ds used their house phone. Back in The Day!

Just on this point, because they OP got the correct answer.

D is 13 and has already had several rants chats with me about how things can go wrong. Every time she's at, "I wouldn't take drugs" because` she's a nerdy type, I open my mouth, take a breath and she parrots, "but if I do I can always call you and you will come and sort erroneous out, make it safe not argue with me".

It's so important to go over the points of being a friend. No one left alone, watch each others' drinks, what to do if someone gets messy, who to call if someone is in danger, which parents are equipped to deal with nonsense. Drum it into them. And get them first aid trained ASAP.