For thinking DH shouldn't be buying alcohol for DSs mates

Year 10 is really young. Most of the yr10 mums wouldn't like this. I let ds1 take a couple of cans to a party, but ds2 friends mums seem more conservative.

I don't know why you're getting so defensive OP when you know very well that your DH is in the wrong here.
Attitudes towards alcohol will vary but regardless of that it is illegal to buy children alcohol, so you can spin it however you like but your DH needs to recognise the potential consequences of his actions.

The best way to keep a young person safe in this day and age is to create a warm and confiding relationship with them, where they can tell you what they’re doing (whether it’s sex, drinking etc), with who and where, to allow you to guide and support them through challenges (provided they’re not really really endangering themselves obviously). Teens brains are primed for risk taking and silly mistakes so to think because you’ve said no they won’t engage in silly behaviour is ridiculous. I therefore don’t think buying your child a few beers is terrible. I also think if your child knows you know they’re drinking, even if you don’t support it as their best choice, they’re more likely to ring for help than the child whose parents gave a hard no. Buying for others is however questionable as it takes the parents right to a choice away.

As long as the other kids parents are aware that they are drinking alcohol then it's fine. I buy for my dd and her friend but only if the other parents know and are OK with them having a drink, same if my dd goes to her friends, the other parents go to the shop for them

We’ve bought alcohol for our own child but absolutely wouldn’t consider buying it for anyone else’s child.

I’m glad to hear that your husband had taken what you’ve said on board, but I’d be disappointed that he needed it explaining to him. How could an adult not realise that it isn’t ok?

Love this reply to that holier than thou comment ❤️

100% do not think you are being unreasonable. My DD, also yr 10 (15yrs), has started attending house parties where there also seems to be copious amounts of alcohol supplied (I’m taking bottles of vodka and Jack Daniel’s etc) I’m lucky in as much as she is petrified of being sick so is in turn petrified of getting drunk. She went to a party last week and said she wanted to have a drink so I agreed she could take 2 cans of pre mixed cocktails (4%). She’s very honest as far as teenagers are and tells me generally what’s going on and I was really unhappy when she told me her friend drank one because her parents hadn’t given her any drink. I told her that she must never give them to others as I cannot and will not be seen supplying drinks to her friends!!
shes going to one tonight and has decided to not take any as she can’t guarantee no one else will drink it.
I can confirm though according to her they all drink and irresponsibly (as you would imagine) she said they all generally mix whatever spirits there are and down them hence me wanting her to have pre mixed 4% drinks IF she was going to drink. There is always (usually a girl) blind drunk and vomiting. One party the parent was having a go at them, as a load were drunk (on drink I can only assume she supplied) saying they can’t handle there drink (no s%^t Sherlock)

It is tricky because being firm about your child not drinking doesn’t mean they won’t do it it just means they are sneaky about it BUT as a parent you certainly cannot be buying other teens alcohol regardless of what you do for your own!

Do you live in the USA?

It is not against the law to give alcohol to your teenager to drink in a private house. Buying for other kids is a bit different, but not illegal for your own.

I have bought my son a (small) bottle of vodka and some Coca-Cola to take to a party, and knowing that they all share the drinks that each one brings, but I wouldn’t specifically buy alcohol for some other kids other than my own

They charged the parents whose house it was? On what charge? Nothing illegal about 15 year olds drinking in a private property (unlike the US). If the parents of said 15 year old knew they were going to party with alcohol present it isn’t the fault of the householder.

@Momtotwokids It’s so bizarre that a young adult can vote, fight for their country, get married, etc., but not have a beer in a bar, isn’t it?!

My dad would buy me a couple of beers around that age, wouldn't buy anyone else any though, I never asked him, my friends parents would buy their own children drinks. This wasn't for house parties though, this was every few weeks for a Friday night round each others houses.

Well here in the US the legal drinking age is 21. Most kids start drinking in high school or college. Why anyone would give or be ok giving a 14-15 year old any alcohol is beyond me.

Mine had a couple of beers at parties from 15/16 I wouldn't buy it for anyone else's kids but I'd prefer to know what mine were drinking rather than them going out trying to buy god knows what from who ever or wherever they can get it like your sons friends are doing

I can't believe what I'm reading.

Alcohol is a drug irrespective of its legality or not.

Your son and his mates are far too young to be drinking for a whole lot of physical, emotional, psychological, social and legal reasons.

You're husband is an idiot and you are defensive of him and condoning your son drinking and breaking the law because he is a child.

You have very low expectations of your son because you expect him to drink while underage. My sons are all of legal age and none of them drink through their own choice, most of their friends are the sake.

Your husband could be charged with supplying alcohol to minors

You'd be worried sick about them having a house party at your house but you're ok with him drinking in other people's homes.

The poor lad needs all the help he can get, I hope there are some decent adults in his life somewhere that can offer proper support and guidance because it doesn't sound as though he gets any off his parents.

I wouldn't have said I 'name called' but you do you

The only reason I can think for potentially doing something so very stupid is to be thought of as cool

So what was his actual thinking?

And @Daffodilsarentfluffy is right ... other parents WOULD judge him and won't want their kids associating with your kids. Its true. So just as well you got to him before he did it.
You're being so defensive about him. We don't know him. He just sounds like a twat from this one scenario and that is all we can talk about.

@Thehalls191 I'm not perfect, would never claim to be, but offering to buy alcohol for other underage kids without their parents knowing is a pretty fucking low point of anybody's parenting.

If one of the teenagers ends up needing treatment in hospital or gets in trouble...the police will want to know where the alcohol came from

You’re correct about the first part, name calling is never necessary, and I apologise for mistakenly thinking he’d actually bought the children alcohol and therefore broken the law, that was my mistake when skim reading.

The defensiveness I was referring to was adding in comments about his worth as a DH and a father. It isn’t relevant how good or otherwise he is usually, in my opinion it’s bizarre that a grown man needs to have it explained to him that buying children alcohol is illegal! But as I said before we all have our own standards and if you’re happy with that then obviously that’s fine!

We won’t all agree - some here clearly think children drinking at quite a young age is fine, some seem convinced that their kids will abstain until 18! I fall somewhere in the middle, I’d give a drink to a 16/17 year old but 14 is just far too young in my book.

My son is year 10 there is NO way I would give him a few beers to take how irresponsible!!

We’ve all got different standards, but I’d be sorely disappointed in a man who is old enough to be father to a young teenager needing it explained to him that buying alcohol for fourteen year old children is illegal 🙈.

Your responses here to everyone who has commented in a negative way have been very defensive - a bit odd seeing as you started the thread because you disagreed with your DH saying yes in the first place!