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Original poster

To want a female only dorm in a bunkhouse?

183 replies

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 17:47

Im doing a long walk next month in the highlands of scotland. Accomodation is limited to hostels and bunkhouses in some locations. Apparently they are no longer able to ask your gender so all rooms in the bunkhouse I am staying are unisex.

I've asked to be put in with another female and been told the other bunk is booked but because of gdpr they can't tell me if I am sharing with a male or female.

Is this not completely bonkers? Am I being unreasonable to want to know who is going to be in the same room as me while im sleeping or is this just normal and the risk you take?

I'm perplexed and a bit stressed about it.

OP posts:
Chersfrozenface · 10/04/2024 18:17

"Youth hostels are different from bunk houses and do offer single sex dorms, so maybe look at them instead?"

Wrong. The YHA policy is "Transgender guests are welcome to stay in the dormitory which corresponds with the gender with which they identify."

EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel · 10/04/2024 18:17

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:13

I'm not sure to be honest, it's a bit intimate in a room for 2 with a stranger. It says in their website they endeavour to put same sex together but if they cant even ask the question how will they know? I'm not saying I'll be sharing with a pervert but who knows?

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Same sex or same gender? Because same gender could mean anything.

PrincessTeaSet · 10/04/2024 18:17

I think mixed sex is normal for bunkhouses and has been for a long time. However they surely can tell you the sex of the other person - you will find out when you get there anyway. I am sure that is nothing to do with gdpr

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 18:16

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:15

This is literally the only accomodation available within 20 miles of walking. They have a hotel but its 300pounds a night! The bunkhouse is 54 quid so affordable for me. I dont have any other choice unfortunately

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If there’s literally no other choice then it doesn’t sound like it matters whether they can or can’t disclose the sex/ gender of your dorm mate? Even if they could tell you it sounds like if it was a man you’d still have to stay there, so just go into it assuming it will be a man and if it’s a woman that’s a nice bonus.

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:15

fedupandstuck · 10/04/2024 18:12

I've just been doing some internet searching, and from what I can tell, some bunkhouses advertise as mixed sex only, although some have private rooms and family rooms. Some say they have mixed sex plus single sex rooms, some advertise as being entirely single sex.

So I don't think it's ridiculous to think there might be single sex accommodation available on this type of holiday, although it might be harder to find.

This is literally the only accomodation available within 20 miles of walking. They have a hotel but its 300pounds a night! The bunkhouse is 54 quid so affordable for me. I dont have any other choice unfortunately

OP posts:
AltitudeCheck · 10/04/2024 18:14

Yeah, I'd rather be in a large mixed sex dorm room than in a 2 person room with a opposite sex stranger. Hopefully the staff try to ensure it is a woman, even if they're not allowed to say/ ask!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:13

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 18:11

What would you do if they could disclose and they said it was a male?

I'm not sure to be honest, it's a bit intimate in a room for 2 with a stranger. It says in their website they endeavour to put same sex together but if they cant even ask the question how will they know? I'm not saying I'll be sharing with a pervert but who knows?

OP posts:
fedupandstuck · 10/04/2024 18:12

I've just been doing some internet searching, and from what I can tell, some bunkhouses advertise as mixed sex only, although some have private rooms and family rooms. Some say they have mixed sex plus single sex rooms, some advertise as being entirely single sex.

So I don't think it's ridiculous to think there might be single sex accommodation available on this type of holiday, although it might be harder to find.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 18:11

What would you do if they could disclose and they said it was a male?

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:11

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/04/2024 18:06

You’re not unreasonable to want to share with somebody female, but if they’re not permitted to ask a person’s sex during booking then they won’t have that information available to give you. They can’t give you the name of the other person, which would likely indicate their sex, because giving out their name would be a breach of GDPR. Would taking a one-person tent and camping be an option?

I was thinking from the name they could tell but maybe not

OP posts:
Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:09

JudgeJ · 10/04/2024 18:01

Be careful, I'm not sure one is allowed to question such things in Scotland, it will be classed as a 'hate crime' this week!

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I know its absolutely bonkers imo!

OP posts:
Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:09

rockinghorserosy · 10/04/2024 18:03

The two bed rooms are unusual in a bunkhouse. Is this one attached to a naice hotel?

Yes, I've stayed before but with my husband not on my own.

OP posts:
Fireyflies · 10/04/2024 18:08

They lieing if they say the law prevents them from offering single sex though. They could do so if they wanted. They wouldn't even need to ask peoples sex, they could just have boxes to book "bed in female dorm" and "bed in male dorm"

fedupandstuck · 10/04/2024 18:06

Sameratdifferenthat · 10/04/2024 18:05

You're right to be wary. I was once shaken awake in the night by the guy (complete stranger) in the bunk above me wanking vigorously I guess I'm "lucky" that's all he did.

JFC. That's horrific.

Fireyflies · 10/04/2024 18:06

I stayed in a few Scottish bunkhouses back in the 1990s well before the trans issue was an issue at all. They were all mixed sex, or else self-allocated (ie no prebooking, you just turned up and agreed with whoever else was there who would sleep where). I never minded mixed rooms if there were quite a few people in there, including other women but was a bit uncomfortable if just me and some random man, but you can't really predict that. Youth hostels are different from bunk houses and do offer single sex dorms, so maybe look at them instead?

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/04/2024 18:06

You’re not unreasonable to want to share with somebody female, but if they’re not permitted to ask a person’s sex during booking then they won’t have that information available to give you. They can’t give you the name of the other person, which would likely indicate their sex, because giving out their name would be a breach of GDPR. Would taking a one-person tent and camping be an option?

Sameratdifferenthat · 10/04/2024 18:05

You're right to be wary. I was once shaken awake in the night by the guy (complete stranger) in the bunk above me wanking vigorously I guess I'm "lucky" that's all he did.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/04/2024 18:04

Lolapusht · 10/04/2024 18:04

Yup and it’s meant to be absolutely fine. Oh, and you pay for he privilege!

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JFC, that is absolutely outrageous. The world has gone completely fucking insane.

Lolapusht · 10/04/2024 18:04

Aquamarine1029 · 10/04/2024 18:02

It's a room for two?! You'll be alone with a male stranger in one room?!

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Yup and it’s meant to be absolutely fine. Oh, and you pay for he privilege!

rockinghorserosy · 10/04/2024 18:03

The two bed rooms are unusual in a bunkhouse. Is this one attached to a naice hotel?

Aquamarine1029 · 10/04/2024 18:02

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:01

Thank you, I'm no prude but I feel exactly like this esp in a room for 2!

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It's a room for two?! You'll be alone with a male stranger in one room?!

Lolapusht · 10/04/2024 18:02

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 17:53

I asked if I could buy the other bunk but was told its already allocated. I just can't understand how crazy it is that you arebt allowed to choose a gender assigned room, I'm a female, I want to be in a room with another female!

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Oh for God’s sake!! Could they not ping the other person an email and ask for their permission to tell you what sex they are???

JudgeJ · 10/04/2024 18:01

ComeAlongPeggy · 10/04/2024 17:57

This isn’t good for men or women. Scotland has gone absolutely mad.

Be careful, I'm not sure one is allowed to question such things in Scotland, it will be classed as a 'hate crime' this week!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:01

Lolapusht · 10/04/2024 17:59

Of course you’re being unreasonable. You should be completely willing to sleep with a man you don’t know in the bed/bunk next to/above/below you. I suppose you don’t want to share the showers with him either?! Bigot.

<SARCASM>

I find it mind-blowing that people don’t see a problem with this. They’re running a business. They’re GDPR protection of one customer is adversely impacting on another customer and potentially losing them business. There’s no WAY I’d be sleeping there if they couldn’t guarantee me there won’t be a man sharing a room with me. This isn’t even about transwomen now. This is about previously SSS becoming mixed sex. I know YH have traditionally had mixed dorms for the adventurous among us, but there’s always been the option of just women. Not any more.

Wonder how many men would be happy sharing with strange women. In fact, if they are happy with it they definitely shouldn't be allowed to!

Christ, I don’t even like sharing a sleeper berth with a woman I don’t know! Wonder if they now do GDPR instigated mixed sex berths. What a mess 🙄😡

Thank you, I'm no prude but I feel exactly like this esp in a room for 2!

OP posts:
Lolapusht · 10/04/2024 17:59

Of course you’re being unreasonable. You should be completely willing to sleep with a man you don’t know in the bed/bunk next to/above/below you. I suppose you don’t want to share the showers with him either?! Bigot.

<SARCASM>

I find it mind-blowing that people don’t see a problem with this. They’re running a business. They’re GDPR protection of one customer is adversely impacting on another customer and potentially losing them business. There’s no WAY I’d be sleeping there if they couldn’t guarantee me there won’t be a man sharing a room with me. This isn’t even about transwomen now. This is about previously SSS becoming mixed sex. I know YH have traditionally had mixed dorms for the adventurous among us, but there’s always been the option of just women. Not any more.

Wonder how many men would be happy sharing with strange women. In fact, if they are happy with it they definitely shouldn't be allowed to!

Christ, I don’t even like sharing a sleeper berth with a woman I don’t know! Wonder if they now do GDPR instigated mixed sex berths. What a mess 🙄😡