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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want a female only dorm in a bunkhouse?

183 replies

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 17:47

Im doing a long walk next month in the highlands of scotland. Accomodation is limited to hostels and bunkhouses in some locations. Apparently they are no longer able to ask your gender so all rooms in the bunkhouse I am staying are unisex.

I've asked to be put in with another female and been told the other bunk is booked but because of gdpr they can't tell me if I am sharing with a male or female.

Is this not completely bonkers? Am I being unreasonable to want to know who is going to be in the same room as me while im sleeping or is this just normal and the risk you take?

I'm perplexed and a bit stressed about it.

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 10/04/2024 21:16

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:25

My friend had a trans woman in her bunk before! Not the same bunkhouse bit it's more common now than you think!

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Would you expect a trans woman to share with men?

Molly0 · 10/04/2024 20:56

I guess you've ruled out staying 2 nights at the place before, and using a taxi to pick you up at Kingshouse and drop you back there in the morning? Not ideal and tent gives you more flexibility.

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 20:21

Thanks everyone, I can't afford the hotel which is 288 for a night so I'm going with it. Cheers for all the comments. I'm taking a tent as a last resort. I still think you should be able to ask who is sharing a room with you! It might be only 54quid a night bit it's still not OK!

OP posts:
Gingerbee · 10/04/2024 20:00

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:09

Yes, I've stayed before but with my husband not on my own.

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Could you get a room in the hotel?
Or get a taxi to take you to a bed and breakfast and bring you back in the morning.
A friend did this on the West Highland Way.
When we did it we camped and did bed and breakfast

Nowfeeltheneedtopost · 10/04/2024 20:00

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 19:39

You can choose a female only room, you just can’t choose one at that specific bunkhouse which clearly advertises itself as unisex. You could choose to book yourself a hotel room, you just don’t want to pay for it. That’s your choice. I would understand your point if staying in a mixed sex room was something you had no choice over because the trip was compulsory, for example if it was a work trip or you were in prison/ hospital etc. But the reality is this is a holiday and you are choosing to book at the unisex place because you don’t want to pay for a hotel and the other local places are fully booked, if you don’t like the look of the available accommodation then you could just choose not to go on a trip. You can’t expect a business to change its policy and business model just to suit you in the same way you can’t turn up at an Italian restaurant and demand a curry because the Indian next door is fully booked and the Italian was the only place in your budget you could book a table! If you don’t like Italian food don’t book a meal at an Italian restaurant and if you don’t like mixed dorms don’t book a room in a unisex hostel!

Edited
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This. And especially because you were quite happy with the bunk room being unisex when you stayed in it with your husband. You are being unreasonable in now expecting the bunkhouse to only offer it on single sex basis.

Thighdentitycrisis · 10/04/2024 19:57

I stayed in a youth hostel last year and when I arrived went to my Female dorm only to find a TW in there.

went back to the manager and said “found my room but there’s a man in there!” He apologised and put me in a single room but that’s not the point. Apparently you can book in under any name online. You are meant to show valid photo ID on arrival but who knows how strict they are

MsAsparagus · 10/04/2024 19:56

Hiding behind GDPR is bollocks. Is it was true no one could enquire if their doctor was male or female.

TwoWhatnots · 10/04/2024 19:56

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:37

This is what's annoying! The next nearest place is 20 miles away and I'm hiking so they have me over a barrel. I'd have to cancel my full 4 day trip or walk the extra 20 miles x

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Except it’s not is it? There’s the hotel, right next door.

So you do have a choice.

Scottishskifun · 10/04/2024 19:53

Got any friends with a little hiking tent? Joys of Scotland you can wild camp most places!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:52

NannyR · 10/04/2024 19:51

Sorry, just read your post saying you had tried there.

Yeah I tried there first as I've stayed before x

OP posts:
NannyR · 10/04/2024 19:51

Sorry, just read your post saying you had tried there.

NannyR · 10/04/2024 19:49

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 18:45

Thanks but if you've read my previous posts you will see one no other option unless I want to walk anotherm20 miles after an already 20 mile hiking day.

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I read a very similar post this evening on the west highland way facebook page from a woman with exactly the same problem booked in at the Kingshouse. If you are the same poster then there are other options a bit closer than 20 miles. The Glencoe mountain resort has little cabins that are reasonably priced (maybe 2 miles before you get to Kingshouse). I've also read that it's an option to get the bus into Glencoe village where there are other accommodation options. My apologies if you've already looked into these.

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:44

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 19:43

I guess lesson learnt that next time before shelling out £1k on a trip check that suitable accommodation is available!

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Thanks for that! This is my 4th time on this trip and I've never had any issues previously

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 19:43

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:41

Thanks for the input, if you know the west highland way you would understand the situation. I'm already paying over 1k for the trip and as I said I've made my bed....

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I guess lesson learnt that next time before shelling out £1k on a trip check that suitable accommodation is available!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:43

Wishimaywishimight · 10/04/2024 19:41

How is GDPR applicable here? You are only asking if the other person is male or female, this information will not identify the person!

That's what I thought but that was the answer I got plus they said they can't ask gender x

OP posts:
Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:42

NobbyNobbs · 10/04/2024 19:40

I feel exactly the same.

What a total failure to consider safeguarding for women.

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I'm considering packing a tent as I have baggage transfer, thid is my 4th time on the whw but 1st time on my own x

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 10/04/2024 19:41

How is GDPR applicable here? You are only asking if the other person is male or female, this information will not identify the person!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:41

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 19:39

You can choose a female only room, you just can’t choose one at that specific bunkhouse which clearly advertises itself as unisex. You could choose to book yourself a hotel room, you just don’t want to pay for it. That’s your choice. I would understand your point if staying in a mixed sex room was something you had no choice over because the trip was compulsory, for example if it was a work trip or you were in prison/ hospital etc. But the reality is this is a holiday and you are choosing to book at the unisex place because you don’t want to pay for a hotel and the other local places are fully booked, if you don’t like the look of the available accommodation then you could just choose not to go on a trip. You can’t expect a business to change its policy and business model just to suit you in the same way you can’t turn up at an Italian restaurant and demand a curry because the Indian next door is fully booked and the Italian was the only place in your budget you could book a table! If you don’t like Italian food don’t book a meal at an Italian restaurant and if you don’t like mixed dorms don’t book a room in a unisex hostel!

Edited
Show quote history

Thanks for the input, if you know the west highland way you would understand the situation. I'm already paying over 1k for the trip and as I said I've made my bed....

OP posts:
NobbyNobbs · 10/04/2024 19:40

Malarandras · 10/04/2024 19:17

I would rather camp in a one person tent, or under a rock, than sleep in a room with one man that I did not know. Sorry you are facing such rotten options OP.

I feel exactly the same.

What a total failure to consider safeguarding for women.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/04/2024 19:39

Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:26

Mixed reviews and thank you to everyone for your opinion. I have tried to pay extra for a 2 or 4 bedroom but they are too busy. Its 1 night of 4 so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and hope my bunkmate, whomever they are, are lovely. I still think in 2024 you should be able to choose a female only room esp for 2. I've made my bed as they say......

You can choose a female only room, you just can’t choose one at that specific bunkhouse which clearly advertises itself as unisex. You could choose to book yourself a hotel room, you just don’t want to pay for it. That’s your choice. I would understand your point if staying in a mixed sex room was something you had no choice over because the trip was compulsory, for example if it was a work trip or you were in prison/ hospital etc. But the reality is this is a holiday and you are choosing to book at the unisex place because you don’t want to pay for a hotel and the other local places are fully booked, if you don’t like the look of the available accommodation then you could just choose not to go on a trip. You can’t expect a business to change its policy and business model just to suit you in the same way you can’t turn up at an Italian restaurant and demand a curry because the Indian next door is fully booked and the Italian was the only place in your budget you could book a table! If you don’t like Italian food don’t book a meal at an Italian restaurant and if you don’t like mixed dorms don’t book a room in a unisex hostel!

NobbyNobbs · 10/04/2024 19:39

Fireyflies · 10/04/2024 18:08

They lieing if they say the law prevents them from offering single sex though. They could do so if they wanted. They wouldn't even need to ask peoples sex, they could just have boxes to book "bed in female dorm" and "bed in male dorm"

That's not quite correct.
Any male could declare themselves female and tick the box. Their law states that no one can oppose this 🤷‍♀️

Dbirk · 10/04/2024 19:37

Take a rape alarm with you just in case but what a complete safeguarding fail! Scotland has gone mad.

Boopear · 10/04/2024 19:36

Then a bus up to Glencoe town could possibly work? The stop is just outside the Kingshouse. Best of luck whatever you decide and enjoy the walk - it is fabulous!

Original poster
Firefightress1 · 10/04/2024 19:32

Boopear · 10/04/2024 19:31

I actually booked that 2 bed bunk room with a friend on the WHW last year and was not that impressed (on the claustrophobic side..) so went mad and upgraded to the hotel, which was lovely after a hard days walk. The Glencoe mountain resort has pods? Maybe option?

Thanks but I've already said I tried there first and I can't afford 288 quid for a hotel room unfortunately

OP posts:
Boopear · 10/04/2024 19:31

I actually booked that 2 bed bunk room with a friend on the WHW last year and was not that impressed (on the claustrophobic side..) so went mad and upgraded to the hotel, which was lovely after a hard days walk. The Glencoe mountain resort has pods? Maybe option?