Guy lied about which university he went to

It's always referred to as University of Nottingham, I don't know why as there are other cities where the university is officially known as Uni of 'x city' but people say 'X city' university but people always say University of Nottingham

Also if he's lying about this I'd worry that he is not serious about the relationship. Because what's his plan, lie forever? It implies he doesn't think he'll have to keep up the ruse for long.

My ExH lied about having a driving licence when I first met him. Probably technically didn't lie, but phrases it very misleadingly as "I can drive". It was the first of much controlling, manipulative and just generally bullshit behaviour, I wish I hadn't let it slide.

Is it in a town you both know well? Wondering if there was a misunderstanding and he thought you were asking where he went, as in, what town. Anyway I wouldn't date someone who lied about something so trivial. So in your shoes I'd really try and establish the fact - whether the uni had changed buildings, where he actually went, and so on. Find some pretext to ask him directly. Maybe mention a friend who went to that uni and do you know them? If it's only five years ago it should be very very easy to find out, you just need the social media or business page of anyone he went to uni with. You're probably too young for Facebook if you're only five years out of uni, but something with that info.

Or you might think this is all too much effort for a guy you're only getting to know. I have a friend who deliberately misleads women about what university he went to (the ex poly in Oxford...).

He’s not answered in a frank way as he’s lied about which university he went to.

Red flag OP. I went to prestigious university - DH anything but. I don't look down on anybody, but I hate liars.

He did not call ‘his poly’ a university. Polys are not ‘commonly described’ as universities these days. Universities are universities, though there is a distinction between old and ‘new’ or post-1992 universities.

He also seems to have answered the OP’s questions in a frank way, so I am struggling to understand where the suspicion comes in. However, I need to know now, so, OP, please ask him.

In my experience, if they’ll lie about something so basic then they’ll lie about anything.

Because he’s basically demonstrating that he is willing to remember these lies so it’s likely he makes a habit of it.

You have been warned. ‼️Proceed at your peril‼️

I think there is something a bit suspicious about this man.
Not nec calling his poly a university as that's the common way of describing them these days.
More not being open with you and answering your further questions in a frank way.
As pp say, no shame in wherever you studied but be honest about it

I once had an interview where the women interviewing me, mentioned seven times that she had been to Cambridge. Luckily I did not get the job.

Also in some fields (eg law) you have no idea how heavily people judge you for not going to the “right” place. If you have a non-RG degree, you get it shoved down your throat that you are lacking in intelligence so I wouldn’t judge that much. It’s not a lie that harms anyone is it? My ex went to Hull and was so embarrassed about it. It’s a fine uni and not even an ex-Poly but he had been told for years when he did his training that he was thick because he hadn’t been to a Russell Group and he took that on board and got insecure.

Huh? You’d say Nottingham Uni surely? Or just Nottingham? Why university of? I went to Manchester and say I went to Manchester Uni. Not The University of Manchester (because I’m not that pretentious). Actually when I went there its full name was the Victoria University of Manchester. I never ever said that or even put it on my CV.

A guy lying about his background might be a red flag - but at the very least,even if he turns out not to be a liar/fantasist, this kind of misrepresentation would give me the ick

Wow! That's embarrassingly pretentious about the wedding tables. Surely the majority of the people there must have known they went to OB. I'm cringing for them.

Are there other 'red flags'?. I personally don't see a major problem here. Having had a spell hiring people I've seen plenty of red flags. Everything from the same uni issue to fake previous jobs. All I see is them bigging up their education a bit.

I went out with someone who said she usually spent a bit on clothes, it turned out the Versace items were fake knock offs she got on holiday from a market. She said it made her feel better. Maybe the same with this person. It's a confidence thing. Though more 'exaggerations' and I would tread with caution/start to run....

The red flag for me would be insecurity rather than lying. He thinks the real him isn’t good enough so has made himself sound more impressive. Very immature character trait and imo really unattractive when a man isn’t confident in himself

They are in their twenties, so which university you went to is a massive part of your identity. Especially if you lie about it.

How old are you 18? You care enough about which university to go and investigate. So immature

OP sounds a bit of a snob

@Geebray yes but more people go to university now than in the past. Many from families that were never the type of university going ones and the all the jargon (ucas points, RG, Red Brick ??) means absolutely nothing to their families.

I feel like if he lied, he'd go to full works and also lie about halls? Idk it seems strange tbh and I'd just ask him in a jokey way. You do sound very invested in looking into this though.

It shows how snobbery can be misleading. I grew up in Oxford in an upper working class family, and we all had jobs in the university. Oxford Brookes isn't far from the town centre traditional universities, and is also seen as a good university. There are so many colleges that make up the University of Oxford. When I was at the Oxford College of FE which was in the town centre, I had a job in an Oxford University college for mature students, and the building was quite new. I'm sure it was still classed as Oxford University.
One good thing about a city with so many colleges, was the number of good book shops and a massive public library, available for all.

As a person who just worked as a domestic in a few of the colleges, I'd be sat on the bus going up the High Street, thinking it looked like a fairy tale. I thought everywhere was as nice as Oxford. It was only after I moved to near Bath that I found another place that seemed like another world to what was outside.

Or the UCAS points required.

OP: I shared earlier.. the fibbing and little white lies are masking bigger issues underneath.

IMO- steer clear now better than going further with this guy. I married a covert narc and it all started with little white lies. Not unlike what you described. There should not be questions now. If you are questioning, it's your inner voice telling you he is problematic and not the one. Please listen to yourself.

Yes. I know people who say they went to uni in Oxford. Turns out it was the poly that later became Oxford Brookes. They're not lying though just being economical with the truth. In the end, it doesn't matter a jot - once you get to know them better, they usually clarify!

Granny Hyacinth will have let them know.