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Original poster

Guy lied about which university he went to

410 replies

Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:30

We were talking about our backgrounds etc. And he told me he'd been to the 'uni of' of the town, which has a good rep.
I live pretty much next door to that uni so I asked him if he'd lived in halls close by.
He said no he'd lived in an area in the South of the city as his campus was based there.
The area he mentioned is a very nice, affluent neighbourhood and I had a look at the campus.
It turns out the 'uni of' doesn't have a campus there, it's the 'poly' that has a campus there.
I couldn't care less what uni he went to or even if he went to uni, I went to one of these so-called 'lesser' unis for my masters and I think in the grand scheme of things nobody really cares where you went, the right people wouldn't anyway.
However, the lying is a red flag for me. I get it was maybe to try and impress me or that he felt embarrassed, but the lying makes me uncomfortable. Would you say this is a red flag?

OP posts:
SockQueen · 10/04/2024 17:49

Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:45

Didn't even know Cambridge had another uni tbh 😅 yeah maybe I'm being too picky, I just hate lying tbh.

Not sure if it's still the case, but the signs at Cambridge train station used to say "Welcome to Cambridge: home of Anglia Ruskin University." Well, that is also true...

Scarydinosaurs · 10/04/2024 17:49

I think it’s a red flag for his whole personality.

someone that insecure will probably be difficult in other ways too.

User79853257976 · 10/04/2024 17:48

Did he not just say ‘I went to Nottingham’ (or wherever)? Or actually specify that it was the better one?

Querty123456 · 10/04/2024 17:47

My ex did the same. And then lied about pretty much everything else.

MichaelFlatulence · 10/04/2024 17:47

I know someone that went to’Oxford’ Brookes, they invariably left off the Brookes. Even their wedding tables had Oxford college names. Insecurity. Exaggeration, misleading. Can’t find a positive adjective

Isitsummersomewhere · 10/04/2024 17:47

I’m not sure this is a big deal. People tell fibs like this or lie by omission all the time.

talking about being a student in Oxford or talking about the ‘better’ uni where they did their masters, but never talking about their undergrad days at a former poly.

loads of people talk up (or down) different aspects of their life history to fit in.

Ive experienced lots of friends doing this who are otherwise good eggs.

yes - it spells insecurity, but aren’t we all?

( btw I’m usually the first to LTB or call out red flags)

AnneShirleysNewDress · 10/04/2024 17:46

How long ago was he at university?

Menomeno · 10/04/2024 17:46

Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:41

I don't want to specify which city, however the poly uni specifically has a campus in the area he mentioned, the uni of only has a city campus.

Was it recent? Just as an example, in my city Uni of had a campus in the south of the city which was sold to developers before Covid. Now they’re based solely in the city centre after building loads of modern facilities in the past few years.

StormingNorman · 10/04/2024 17:46

More of a beige flag.

Original poster
Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:45

Didn't even know Cambridge had another uni tbh 😅 yeah maybe I'm being too picky, I just hate lying tbh.

OP posts:
ItsallIeverwanted · 10/04/2024 17:43

I know someone that used to do that, just say 'Cambridge' in a vague way when they went to the other uni, not Uni of Cambridge. He isn't a bad person at all, in fact, he's lovely, but he does have some deep-seated insecurities. I'd be on the watch for this type of stuff in the future, though, is it just a silly exaggeration such as lots of people do on their CV or is it a tendency to tell whoppers in all situations. I'd make a mental note of this and gather more evidence by going out with him if I liked him, if I didn't, I'd dump.

Needmorelego · 10/04/2024 17:42

Just ask him what he meant?
How many years ago was it. As so many places change their names he may have just got confused and called it by what he thought it's new name is.
I didn't go to university by my further education college has been through about 4 different names since I left 30 years ago (and my secondary school 2 names).

Original poster
Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:42

I think he is a bit insecure in general. I go to gigs sometimes and asked him if he does, he said no and looked pretty embarrassed, even though I don't care if he does or not tbh.

OP posts:
UncomfortablyBig882 · 10/04/2024 17:42

A guy from my school claimed he went to Oxford. Everyone was sooo impressed. My own mother was discussing this with a few of her friends "omg I can't believe he went to Oxford, he did so well" (I'm from a small town). It was particularly astonishing as he was a smart lad but not super academic.

Years later, when LinkedIn became a thing, I googled him and it turns out he went to Oxford Brookes. Nothing wrong with it except it's not Oxford.

Just Google him.

fedupandstuck · 10/04/2024 17:42

How do you know for certain that this has been the case for previous years?

Invisimamma · 10/04/2024 17:41

I know what you mean OP, for example, there's a big difference between The University of Edinburgh and Edinburgh Napier University.

He's probably embarrassed or wants to make himself out to be more distinguished than he is. It would be an amber flag for me, but not a deal breaker. Just ask him about it, his response will tell you more.

Original poster
Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:41

I don't want to specify which city, however the poly uni specifically has a campus in the area he mentioned, the uni of only has a city campus.

OP posts:
Jokl · 10/04/2024 17:40

I don’t give a flying fuck where someone to uni, or if they even went at all, but I do mind very much someone lying for absolutely no reason other than big themselves up. He’ll lie about anything and everything op, massive red flag.

SellFridges · 10/04/2024 17:40

Has it never had a campus there? Our local Uni Of used to have a campus in our suburb, but it closed and the building was taken over by one of the former poly’s…

SereneHighnessPrincessTheresa · 10/04/2024 17:40

It would bother me not that he'd been to Oxford Brookes instead of Oxford but that he lied. Lying to impress isn't great, suggests he's a little insecure.

fedupandstuck · 10/04/2024 17:40

Unless he went to uni in the last year, you can't possibly know where his lectures were, as things can change massively once you have left university. The uni I went to completely reorganised and renamed all the faculties and buildings, and demolished the halls of res I was in.

It's not a red flag, it's a mild irrelevant inaccuracy. It would be weird to make a big deal out of it.

Menomeno · 10/04/2024 17:39

Which city?

Iwouldlikesomecake · 10/04/2024 17:39

Yeah red flag. I’ve been to a red brick and an old poly and they were both the best for the subjects I studied, there’s no shame in going somewhere that’s a newer uni- not even that new any more lol- but if you’re saying you went to University of Oxford and you actually went to Oxford Brookes you’ve got issues.

Original poster
Snoopy104 · 10/04/2024 17:38

PlasticOno · 10/04/2024 17:37

But you checked the area — so clearly you suspected he was lying?

Show quote history

I checked it out of curiosity as the campus he mentioned is in a really beautiful area so I wanted to see what it was like.

OP posts:
cuckyplunt · 10/04/2024 17:37

God, he needs to run for the hills, you are out of your mind.

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