Guy lied about which university he went to

I could never see the point of lying about which Uni you attended, because some smart alec is always going to start asking you questions because they went there.

The issue here is not of what or which university (prestigious or otherwise). I've been to six universities for various studies/degrees and to one Poly (the last and the most practical, management skills oriented!). That tells you my age!! However, whenever I fondly mention the Poly I went to, I always add "now of course it's XYZ -- they're are all universities now". The issue is of transparency, especially if one is in the process of forming a presumambly long-term/medium-term relationship. We've all encountered swindlers and fraudsters projectiing a persona that is/may be suspect. Red flag? Maybe not, but making a mental note to verify in due course, certainly, before a potentially harmful pattern of deception takes shape. Based on TV documentaries, more men than women tend to create a false narrative in a developing relationship?

In recent non Uk times, our DD stayed in private ‘halls’ or accomodation while attending year 2 and 3. So it is a thing.

having said that, I have an uncle who has claimed to have attended some high ranking uni’s (he didn’t) but now his DD’s are starting to get to know the rest of the family, he is laughing it off as a joke….

do your research but I would steer away if you are looking at it from a romantic perspective. My aunt can’t get away because of all the wonderful memories my U has of vast travels.. which is in his recollections as an employee.

No. They end up needing to do lots of extra work outside the syllabi.
A lot of content of 'higher ranking' university syllabuses can be gotten for free online, you can even get textbooks and lectures for free.

>>>BTW all the 'judgement' I'm talking about applies to the average Joe as well. In my field , the 'higher ranked' universities have courses that are uniformly difficult. Some 'lower ranked' punch very much above their weight but the majority have courses that are watered down and not very rigorous. Professionally it doesn't really matter to me, everyone has to pass the same tests/interview and if they're capable I don't care where the degree is from. Others might care more however.<<<

So if you acknowledge they all have to pass the same tests, then the courses must be just as good?

I have a friend. Known him for years. Every time I see him, and I mean EVERY time he drops it into the conversation that he went to Oxford.

I for one haven't seen enough of men treating women decently, and subconsciously men think they need money sometimes to win a woman. You have kids though so you are looking for a father figure and his lie might have made him look immature.

Run a mile. Anyone who will lie about something like this will lie about anything and everything. You can’t trust him.

What attitude is that, exactly?
Factually, the difficulty of courses, calibre of the intake as a whole etc is generally higher in research-intensive/highly ranked universities. Whether you like it or not.

UK universities aren't the Ivy League with legacy admissions/sports scholarships/whatever so someone having gone to one implies that they were academic high achievers at the age at which they went to university. Even if they had external advice, tutoring etc they still managed to not only get the required grades, but graduate, so they must be capable.
That doesn't mean that someone who has gone to a 'lower-ranked' university isn't intelligence/high-achieving. Rather, this is not so obviously inferred.

Instead of thinking that people are 'looking down' on other grads. Those from red-brick universities are 'looked up' to. Everyone else is looked at a 'normal' level, rather than 'down' if that makes sense.

As an aside, there's no such thing as a 'non-prestigious' medical school in the UK. All Medicine courses are extremely competitive! Sure, in the world of competitive speciality training university name might make a difference but irrelevant to the average Joe.

BTW all the 'judgement' I'm talking about applies to the average Joe as well. In my field , the 'higher ranked' universities have courses that are uniformly difficult. Some 'lower ranked' punch very much above their weight but the majority have courses that are watered down and not very rigorous. Professionally it doesn't really matter to me, everyone has to pass the same tests/interview and if they're capable I don't care where the degree is from. Others might care more however.

Have been thinking about this and I'd 100% want to know if someone was lame enough to lie about where they'd been to university. It would be a red flag.

These people aren't just insecure - they are showing they are likely to judge others too, IME. They might be snobbish or embarrassed or whatever. But ultimately they think it's important to go to the 'right' place, important enough to lie about it. I would definitely not want to be in a relationship with someone like that.

I would be wary of the lying too OP.
It may be something ‘small or insignificant’ but lots of those add up to a problem and something I would not be happy with.

A friend of my dd is currently doing this - there are three unis in our city, we know he had an offer from the former poly and we saw him at the applicants day. He now tells everyone he is at the ‘uni of’ as it has a better reputation. He is going through an elaborate ruse pretending to be there, it’s just building up more and more lies. Dd knows he’s not where he says he is, but hasn’t told him, she just doesn’t really bother with him anymore as she can’t trust anything he says. So stupid really. Be wary OP.

“they may want people to think they are cleverer or higher achieving than they are”

It’s people with this attitude that makes people feel they need to lie or cover up with university they went to. In reality, it has nothing to do with intelligence or how how high achieving you are and everything to do with class background.

I studied 4 A-levels and got 3 As and a B. I went to a polytechnic because at the time I didn’t even know there was any difference between a redbrick or former-polytechnic. I just looked up universities that did the course I wanted and went with the one I liked best on open day. My parents didn’t go to university and weren’t in a position to guide me and my comprehensive sixth form college gave no information or guidance either.

I’m in a profession where many of my peers went to Oxbridge yet they’re in the same job as me and get paid the same.

The same applies to my husband who went to a very non-prestigious medical school because it was near his family home but it is now at the top of his field.

It doesn't matter if somebody went to an ex-poly; it's trying to give the impression that they went to a much higher ranking/prestigious university that's suspect, because they may want people to think they are cleverer or higher achieving than they are.
If someone says they went to Bath university, it suggests they went to University of Bath, which is a top 10 university and very hard to get into, whereas Bath Spa University is much lower down the rankings and requires lower grades.

This is like saying "oh I went to Oxford", but they actually went to Brooks. Or I went to Bristol, but it was UWE.

It is a lie, and one that is easily caught out.

It sounds like you’re reading a lot into it - did he definitely say “uni of Sheffield” (a clunky way to say it which I never hear anyone use) or did he say “Sheffield uni” and so you assumed “uni of”? If the latter I don’t think it’s a lie, he’s just telling you the city he went to uni because like you said it really doesn’t matter which one?

In one of OP’s replies, she said he specifically told her “I went to uni of”. So he lied to her.

I couldn't get massively worked up about this, he went to a university, in the city he named.

This. I think I have the solution, though. Send him a link to this thread and prepare to be dumped.

I couldn't get massively worked up about this, he went to a university, in the city he named.

Unlike someone who told me they had 'studied' at the Slade school of art. When I subsequently asked for some pointers, as I was applying there for an MA, it transpired she had never been to art school at all, just done a 2 week summer course (open to the general public) at the Slade.

Are you using this poll to decide whether to see him again or not?
or are you using this poll to validate your own personal opinion
maybe you should just trust your gut feeling regardless of the poll

Just a personal hatred of mine. I can’t stand “telly”, “invite”, “hubby” or “brekky” either.

Everyone I know says uni
I wasn't aware there was anything wrong with that.

All polytechnics are universities now. What does it matter? I went to Leicester polytechnic. Its now De Montford university with an excellent reputation. I might say I went to uni in Leicester. Literally noone cares.

It sounds like you’re reading a lot into it - did he definitely say “uni of Sheffield” (a clunky way to say it which I never hear anyone use) or did he say “Sheffield uni” and so you assumed “uni of”? If the latter I don’t think it’s a lie, he’s just telling you the city he went to uni because like you said it really doesn’t matter which one?

If he wanted to convince you he went to the other uni in the city, why would he go into detail about where his campus was? He could have just said “no I lived in this nice area because I liked it there”.

I’d ask him casually “did you say you went to uni of Sheffield or Sheffield Hallam? I have a mate who studied maths as well you might know…” so he has to answer direct. Then you’ll know whether he actually lied or not. If he lies in answer to a direct question like that then yes major red flag.

But right now you’re sounding like a bit of a red flag yourself the way you’ve gone off and researched this!

I feel a lot of people do this. It's annoying. Sounds mean but often I give them benefit of the doubt and assume they truly think it's the same thing lol

We don’t actually know that though. OP’s done her girl detective thing and assumes he’s lied, on the basis of his frankness about where he lived. If someone was going to lie, I’d have thought they’d be a bit more thorough than that.

I have a couple of friends from there and they all said the city name. This might have been because everyone else did the same, and they might have sounded pretentious otherwise.

Maybe because it might be mixed up with Nottingham Trent?

I went to a London uni so no issues for me 😉