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Original poster

To ask family member to pay for money they owe me for a meal?

155 replies

Supernova23 · 10/04/2024 17:15

I don’t get on well with this particular relative, they are very challenging and quite toxic. On a family holiday we had all run out of cash as it was the last day, so I offered to put it on my card and said they could transfer me the money afterwards. It’s been three days now and no money from them. How do I approach someone I don’t really get on with and ask for the money they owe me? Everyone walks around on tenterhooks around this person not just me.

OP posts:
Daffodilsandtuplips · 13/04/2024 15:53

QueenMegan · 13/04/2024 11:14

Sure I will contribute my share of taxi ride thanks so much. Remaining amount owed is xxx
Cheers sorry to have to ask.😀
X

Lol.

This but without the “Sorry to have to ask”. Don’t go all flowery and apologetic for asking to be repaid, No need to explain why you want it repaid, she owes you and you want it back, it’s as simple as that.
Send it on the Group chat.

AlwaysNonStop · 13/04/2024 14:09

Hi, hope you’ve recovered from the holiday lol. Just wondering if you could transfer the £x for the meal? I stuck it on my credit card and I’m hoping to pay it off before they start charging interest. Thanks x

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/04/2024 14:00

Supernova23 · 12/04/2024 20:33

She’s refusing to pay for the meal now as she paid for a taxi at one point on the trip. I didn’t ask for her to pay for the taxi and the meal cost a lot more than the taxi.

Pursue it.

Tell her to deduct half the taxi cost from what she owes you and send you the rest.

And resolve that you will never do any favours for this family member ever again. If a similar situation ever arose, refuse to pay for her and tell her to go to the autobank. (Easier said than done I know, when you've been 'trained' to tiptoe round her. First time pushing back is the hardest, next is easier etc.)

Silvers11 · 13/04/2024 13:59

QueenMegan · 13/04/2024 11:14

Sure I will contribute my share of taxi ride thanks so much. Remaining amount owed is xxx
Cheers sorry to have to ask.😀
X

Lol.

Yes @Supernova23 This one is a good follow up reply!

SmudgeButt · 13/04/2024 13:52

You could be a bit passive aggressive about it in the future and laughingly say "oh don't pay for "cheapwad" you'll never get your money back!! I'm still waiting for what she owes from 18 years back!"

magicstar1 · 13/04/2024 13:52

And don’t use sorry at all in the message….makes you look like you’re doing something wrong.

magicstar1 · 13/04/2024 13:51

Threads like this make me realise how lucky I am with my brother. We’d pay for each other and not worry, and on the odd occasion where he’d owe me…eg if we were paying for a birthday present for a parent, then I’d send a text saying “Where’s my money bitch” and we’d laugh about it.

in the OP’s situation, the person is difficult so I’d send a message.
Half the taxi - 10
meal cost - 50
you owe me 40. Thanks.

Shoxfordian · 13/04/2024 13:48

Write it and them off

Pinkelephant66 · 13/04/2024 13:46

GalileoHumpkins · 10/04/2024 17:25

Dearest difficult family member, you may recall that we enjoyed a meal together on holiday that I kindly paid for with my bank card. We all agreed that the money would be transferred to me after we returned home. Sadly, I have not received any money from you and it is with the greatest regret that I must insist that you pay me the full amount immediately.
Regards and good day Supernova.

Who would say that 😂

Nicole1111 · 13/04/2024 13:37

Hit her with the figures. Taxi was x amount, dinner was this amount, you need to transfer the difference.

Riapia · 13/04/2024 13:14

MN rule 362.
Never socialise with relatives.
It often ends acrimoniously.
You can choose your friends fortunately.

Beautiful3 · 13/04/2024 13:02

ChocolateTea · 13/04/2024 11:05

Just reply again “oh yes sorry, so your part of the meal was £50, minus my half of the taxi at £15, so just transfer me the difference of £35. Thanks!”

This is perfect.

Itsokish · 13/04/2024 12:46

Serenitymummy · 13/04/2024 12:26

Group chat. "for anyone that still needs my bank details for the meal here they are, oh and toxic arse I've deducted my share of the taxi from what you owe so it's now £xx, thanks all"

This!Don't just let it go as suggested by PP because that is what the CF relies on !

loobylou10 · 13/04/2024 12:42

NO WAY would I leave it. Cheeky cow.

loobylou10 · 13/04/2024 12:42

Serenitymummy · 13/04/2024 12:26

Group chat. "for anyone that still needs my bank details for the meal here they are, oh and toxic arse I've deducted my share of the taxi from what you owe so it's now £xx, thanks all"

This
⬆️

Spendysis · 13/04/2024 12:41

Deduct your share of the taxi cost and ask for the rest

Daisybuttercup12345 · 13/04/2024 12:38

ThreeEggOmlette · 13/04/2024 12:33

This is great.
It gets it into the family chat without being pointed & obvious towards difficult relative & negates taxi excuse 👍

Show quote history

This is good.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 13/04/2024 12:38

GalileoHumpkins · 10/04/2024 17:25

Dearest difficult family member, you may recall that we enjoyed a meal together on holiday that I kindly paid for with my bank card. We all agreed that the money would be transferred to me after we returned home. Sadly, I have not received any money from you and it is with the greatest regret that I must insist that you pay me the full amount immediately.
Regards and good day Supernova.

That would put my back up.

pikkumyy77 · 13/04/2024 12:37

Make this the most expensive meal they never pay for. Don’t travel with them again and say why. I presume its either a sister or a favored cousin so it may be difficult but in the long run you should go low contact/no contact.

ZsaZsaTheCat · 13/04/2024 12:36

QueenMegan · 13/04/2024 11:14

Sure I will contribute my share of taxi ride thanks so much. Remaining amount owed is xxx
Cheers sorry to have to ask.😀
X

Lol.

This is too fawning -why should you be sorry for asking 🙄?

StripeyDeckchair · 13/04/2024 12:33

Did you have a group WhatsApp group or similar for planning the trip?
Send a reminder via the group

Thanks to everyone who sent me the money for the meal on x date.
Person A you still owe me £amount can you please send it to [your bank details]

You don't like the person so them being passed off with you is irrelevant.
Get the money back & never help them again.

ThreeEggOmlette · 13/04/2024 12:33

Serenitymummy · 13/04/2024 12:26

Group chat. "for anyone that still needs my bank details for the meal here they are, oh and toxic arse I've deducted my share of the taxi from what you owe so it's now £xx, thanks all"

This is great.
It gets it into the family chat without being pointed & obvious towards difficult relative & negates taxi excuse 👍

SittingBackAndWatchingTheClowns · 13/04/2024 12:32

I'd put it down to a bad experience, but not bother with her again.

PhuckyNell · 13/04/2024 12:31

Yeah I would let it go outwardly but inwardly they would be dead to me 😂

AgentProvocateur · 13/04/2024 12:29

Just leave it and make a mental note not to lend this person money again.

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