To ask family member to pay for money they owe me for a meal?

Make sure you save the messages. I'd expect her to now start badmouthing you to all the family. It sounds like they know what she's like anyway, but make sure you keep the evidence just in case.

Oh well! Best off away from her!

Honestly I’d leave it and not see this person again (and certainly not pay for anything for her) but then maybe I’m in a financial situation where I could pay for someone’s meal without it being an issue. I get others might feel differently.

edit: since seen your further comments… I’d still set up the group and say the same. Then say ‘I’m aware you paid a taxi Aunt X, so if I deduct my share then your share of the mean is only £X.’

it calls her out and gives others the opportunity to offer their share of the taxi if she feels out of pocket.

if people jump in and say ‘oh I didn’t pay for the taxi’, and your aunt has continued to ignore you could reply ‘oh she owes me for meal so if you send me the taxi money, you’re both even’

Set up a group message and say ‘brilliant holiday everyone, missing you all already! Just sending my bank details over for those that need them for the meal on Friday. Hope your first back is easy on you’

And if she doesn't, refuse to go on holiday with her again

Just say my share of the taxi was x, your share of the meal was y, so please transfer the difference which is z

How much was the meal and how much was your share in the taxi ?

I would either

a) leave it. Be the bigger person and just suck it up but never do it again. Or

b) send a text (either directly to her or in a group chat) saying "Just reminding you still owe me X amount of money for the meal, less the taxi which you kindly paid for. If you are struggling for cash then just let me know and I won't ask again 😀"

It would depend on what mood I was in as to what route I took😂

The taxi was x, we were x people in it, my share was x., so
You owe me X.
Thank you for transferring

Honestly, unless you're going to starve I'd leave it and go NC. It's a cheap price to get rid of such toxicity, especially when she's told you you're not getting a penny already.

I think I’d be inclined to let it go and chalk it up to experience. If you are ever in that situation again just say ‘ I would offer to pay but I didn’t get it back last time’.

Also I think I’d think seriously about going on holiday with people who can’t budget their spending money.

Set up a group text with all trip people including aunt
'Hi everyone hope we all had a great holiday. There's just a couple of money issues to sort out. Aunt requires £x shared between all those in the taxi on x evening. If you can sort that quickly that would be great as she's unable to repay me for her last meal until people have done this. Aunt your bill is £x for the last meal, please pay as soon as possible thanks everyone for your help sorting this, I know money is as tight for everyone atm'

Publicly shame her into it.

Hi X.

I realised I haven’t sent my bank details through for the meal yet. If you can transfer me £x this week that would be great.

cheers!

Just move on. Life is too short and you’re not going to win this one. Don’t pay in future.

So she’s a family member, This sometimes means thinking about her needs too. I don’t know about your financial situation. She might be struggling more than you think. Is she struggling financially, emotionally (she might be pretty isolated if she finds relationships within the family hard). Are you able to do without the £? Can you let it go? In families sometimes things aren’t fully equal financially but you all need to respect each other as equals otherwise there is more pain than necessary - it’s not all about what we ‘achieve’ in life. Is it worth escalating this (if you are struggling financially then of course this is reasonable but if the next pay check will easily swallow the deficit, could de-escalate it by being generous?

Just text and ask for it and give bank details, people shouldn't have to rip tow round someone like that and a text is less confrontational. Why should they not pay for themselves.

Lol hopefully this one's a joke. A simple, hey think you forgot to transfer to me, let me know when you have: thanks. Will do

How much was the taxi? Who was in the taxi.

I would take the taxi value and divide by the number of passengers to establish your share and subtract from the cost of her meal - then send her that calculation.

Which parent is she a sibling of? Can they talk to her?

I would definitely do this. Let them see what she is.

I would put on the family chat..
"Hi aunt cf, posting here as my messages don't appear to be getting through. Please send your share of the meal over as I'm out of pocket. Although I didn't ask for you to pay my share of the cab, please knock off my portion of the fare from your meal that I paid "
"Thanks everyone else for paying so quickly, I really appreciate it. Lovely meal every one, I really enjoyed it."

Put it on the family chat for all to see.

Tell her she's putting you in a difficult position financially for not reimbursing you for what she wanted in spite of promising to pay you back.

Well, that's the last time you go on holiday or do any favour for your aunt, isn't it? She is absolutely taking the piss if you have offered to adjust her owed share of the meal by your share for the taxi.

Why is it ' with the greatest regret' tho?

Just send a friendly message saying fantastic holiday or whatever pleasantries and by the way here's my bank details for you to transfer x amount, thanku very much!!