rude friend of dd's - do I say anything?

Alice is growing up and often in doing that, they go through stroppy phases.

I wouldn't bother saying anything to her mum but I'd certainly take it up with Alice if she was rude to me.

It's a one off from a teenager I think you are massively over reacting

we all have. bad days - unless it becomes a pattern keep out of it

I would say something (and I have done before)

i wouldn’t say anything personally as there maybe a reason behind it and some parents may get defensive or be offended; some don’t even notice as people have different levels of acceptability. It may also be her age, I have a year 8 DD and I think there are lots of changes at this age with socialising and they are discovering who they are or perhaps want to be so can be quite bold if they are that way inclined. DD has a friend who is very direct and will say when she doesn’t like what DD is wearing or the jewellery she has on or how she has done her hair or the music she listens to. DD is very into design and wants to go to fashion college or be an Architect, this friend is not interested at all in the aesthetic so DD doesn’t really care what she thinks when the friend is rude but it does get a bit trying. DD will call her out on her rudeness though, is that an option for your DD rather than via you to your friend?

I would talk to your daughter and suggest she doesn't accept any shit from Alice. Every time Alice starts up with that, your daughter immediately announces she has stuff to do and it is time for Alice to leave.

I wouldn't say anything to Alice, and I wouldn't go out of my way to mention it to her mother. But if her mother mentions concerns or asks if you have noticed anything then I would mention that Alice is showing problem behaviour.

As your friend is already concerned about Alice’s behaviour and friends I would say something like ‘yes we noticed she wasn’t her normal bright bubbly self and I agree with you her behaviour is concerning’ and gently try to ask if she is seeing a therapist etc etc

Also talk to your DD and remind her what a good friend is and how we should act as a good friend and not to put up with people who aren’t good friends

I would ask your friend if Alice is still struggling with her class friends. See what her mother says. Maybe Alice is struggling and taking it out on your DD ? I wouldn't come out and say Alice was rude but I would say that both your DH and you sense she isn't happy. Then I might say ' I wouldn't want DD and Alice's friendship to suffer'

Your friend is worried so I would kindly confirm her fears...."oh I see why you were worried, I saw quite a change in her when she came over...."

I would say “Alice, you are sounding just like those girls you say are mean to you so I think it’s time for you to go home and we will see you again when your normal personality returns.”