Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is using repeated question marks rude or not???

58 replies

User1979289 · 10/04/2024 12:31

I find it rude to send a message "I'm running 10 mins late, can you wait???" I get a lot from clients "Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm??"
Mostly from people who aren't rude at all in real life.

IANBU: it is rude!?!
IABU: Wake up grandma, it is 2024!?!

OP posts:
GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 10/04/2024 13:17

Axx · 10/04/2024 12:34

V v rude. I totally ignore messages and emails with more than one ?

What's your question here???

Concannon88 · 10/04/2024 13:17

User1979289 · 10/04/2024 12:31

I find it rude to send a message "I'm running 10 mins late, can you wait???" I get a lot from clients "Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm??"
Mostly from people who aren't rude at all in real life.

IANBU: it is rude!?!
IABU: Wake up grandma, it is 2024!?!

I dont know about it at the end of a question. But it think its unbelieveably rude when you don't reply and they send another message with just ????

MenoBabe · 10/04/2024 13:15

MenoBabe · 10/04/2024 13:15

I use to indicate that I'm very uncertain about what I'm asking. Not intended rudely at all.

So for example - should we go to the beach or the park???

MenoBabe · 10/04/2024 13:15

I use to indicate that I'm very uncertain about what I'm asking. Not intended rudely at all.

Bbq1 · 10/04/2024 13:11

I suppose thinking about it, it depends on individual situations, the relationship between the two parties and what the sender is referring to. I generally don't see it as rude.
To me, if feels like a couple of extra punctuation marks are implying that the sender is aware that the recipient may not have the time /ability to do whatever it is they have requested and are understanding if they are unable to do whatever. Quite polite and thinking of the other person in that case.

PriOn1 · 10/04/2024 13:07

If it’s just two, might it be a typo?

RaininSummer · 10/04/2024 13:06

I dont generally see it as rude. To me it usually indicates,'any chance if a quick reply?'

FineWordsButterNoParsnips · 10/04/2024 13:04

It's rude.
For those who said it's not, can you seriously not see the difference between
'Ok, will I see you there?'
and
'Ok, will I see you there?????'

RollOnSpringDays · 10/04/2024 13:02

Yes it’s rude. As is the multiple exclamation mark!!!

Greyat · 10/04/2024 12:56

I think exclamation marks only have a place in really extreme situations too. Never multiple and very rarely appropriate in a business email.

CoolRedSquid · 10/04/2024 12:56

BestMug · 10/04/2024 12:45

Either rude or illiterate, depends on context. Effectively either:

"Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm, you fucking idiot???"

or

"Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm??? (I'm a fucking idiot.)"

😂 beautifully put!

Pigeonqueen · 10/04/2024 12:55

I don’t think it’s rude, I just think they’re not capable of communicating properly.

Axx · 10/04/2024 12:52

Topseyt123 · 10/04/2024 12:49

It's meant for emphasis. It can come across as rude because it is a little bit more forceful, but it can also be fine if used carefully.

Generally, it doesn't offend me at all.

It's never fine for me. How can it be used carefully???

CoolRedSquid · 10/04/2024 12:49

EveSix · 10/04/2024 12:41

Is it intended as a kind of emphasis? Weird.

That's kind of how I read it. I'll occasionally use two exclamation marks for extra emphasis, but i prefer to use exclamation marks sparingly so that one exclamation mark does it's job.
Likewise, i can imagaine two question marks together as meaning 'really?'

Somebody once texted me: 'Are you there already????????' I'm not sure how to interpret that, other that incredulity, perhaps. To me, 'Are you there already?' has a completely different and calmer meaning.

Topseyt123 · 10/04/2024 12:49

It's meant for emphasis. It can come across as rude because it is a little bit more forceful, but it can also be fine if used carefully.

Generally, it doesn't offend me at all.

Pearlyclouds · 10/04/2024 12:48

I think it does come across as rude.. I wouldn't be too put out by it but yeah I wouldn't do it as I think it's rude. Comes across like shouting or being irate. If it's attached to a positive message it might come across as excited or joyful but on those examples you've given it comes across as cross and pushy.

BestMug · 10/04/2024 12:45

Either rude or illiterate, depends on context. Effectively either:

"Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm, you fucking idiot???"

or

"Can you do Tuesday at 3.30pm??? (I'm a fucking idiot.)"

Greyat · 10/04/2024 12:44

I think it comes across as a bit aggressive/demanding.

TheValueOfEverything · 10/04/2024 12:43

Yes - means the sender is impatient, cross, or being sarcastic.

If my boss sends me multiple ??? I know the situation is serious (and my blood pressure rises accordingly!)

CoolRedSquid · 10/04/2024 12:42

I'm curious as to why people do it though. Do you know?

EveSix · 10/04/2024 12:41

Is it intended as a kind of emphasis? Weird.

CoolRedSquid · 10/04/2024 12:41

I think it's probably not meant that way. But to me it comes across as impatient. I know a couple of people who seem to do it out of habit, and I just ignore it. It irritates me a bit though.

LolaSmiles · 10/04/2024 12:40

I don't think on the end of a question it's necessarily rude, but it does annoy me.

What is rude is when people ask a question or send a message and then send a follow up of "??" because you've not replied on demand. That winds me up.

LegoDeathTrap · 10/04/2024 12:40

It’s like shouting. Has a time and a place, but not suitable for every day.

Anyotherdude · 10/04/2024 12:39

Not rude at all. Those who think they can identify rudeness from the punctuation, rather than the words, are over-thinking it, TBH.

Swipe left for the next trending thread