DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

Phew. I’m another one relieved that DD is satisfied, whatever would we do if she remained disgruntled? I don’t even want to think about it.

I'm celebrating with a chocolate twist

You beat me to it!

As long as OP's DD is "satisfied", then all is right with the world and we can sleep safely in our beds tonight.

Who died and put her in charge. Goodness me!

Well that’s a relief that your daughter is satisfied. Phew.

I think I speak on behalf of all of MN (and indeed all students and lecturers at the Uni) when I say thank god your DD is satisfied by this outcome. I dread to think what would have happened had she not deemed it acceptable 😂

1. it must be tricky for the mature student in terms of like minded peers and they may feel closer aligned to the tutor

2)why is your daughter threatened by a relationship between two people that has nothing to do with her? I'd be curious about this.

3. Has she experienced a situation before where she can't trust someone's professionalism. It sounds like a few assumptive leaps on her part.

Exactly this 😂Even IF a mature student is shagging the professor. And in the (very unlikely event) they get marked higher than they should... So what?! Doesn't make any difference to anyone else! It's not like you're ranked in order from best to worst student 😂

Seriously? You aren’t allowed to be friendly with your adult students anymore? University has changed (and not for the better). When I was there it was an academic community with mutual respect and often friendship (and some I appropriate shenanigans that everyone rolled their eyes about). They aren’t children.

@ChinnyChin2 your welcome, i was up early and caught it all 😂

18 year old me wasn’t upset when there was actual shagging for marks going on. Made no odds to me. Didn’t lower my mark so 🤷‍♀️

Thanks! Had a senior moment and missed that bit

You could also try and get rid of the chip on your shoulder about people older than you getting on better than you in the workplace.

Indeed.

I was a mature student myself.

I was the one who had to retake my A-levels* aged 40 because when I was actually at school my home life was so sh1t I couldn't study effectively.

I was the one who asked the questions the whole class was wondering about because the younger ones wouldn't ask in case they made fools of themselves.

I was the one who got my work in as early as I could because I also had a disabled husband, and a house full of kids and dogs to worry about so I didn't dare risk leaving anything to the last minute.

I was the one who wasn't out on the piss every night and panicking at the night before deadline because I hadn't done the reading, let alone written the essay, and now I couldn't get hold of the books because other students in similar mode had got them out of the library.

I was the one who knew that this was probably the last chance I had for a decent education, and was I hell going to waste it.

And while I wasn't "friends" with the tutors, in the sense that I didn't share hobbies or go for a drink with them, I probably did find it easier to talk to them in a relaxed manner just because most of them were nearer my age.

*I took 4, in a year, in my spare time, and achieved 3-A stars and a B. Nobody did me any favours by feeling sorry for me because I was "old", or they were "pally" with me. I worked my arse off to get there and make a good job of it. You'll find that most mature students are the same. They know it's now or never for them.

She'll come across like a childish tattle-tale. Does she frequently start drama?

It wasn't intended for her and was sent in error. The old 'reply all' I've seen someone sacked over one of those. But it was bullying related.
I don't know what she will achieve by making a complaint. The other student is allowed to talk to the teacher about hobbies? Is it that your daughter is worried the other one is getting preferential treatment? Does she fancy or particularly dislike the other student or the teacher? Sorry, it just seems like I'm not sure she should waste much energy on it.

I'd be interested to know what ramifications she thinks there would be for a student completing assignments early

ManchesterBeatrice · Today 08:26
'Sleeping on it' like she's the boss 😂

Exactly She must have a very high opinion of herself.

Whilst I agree that OP's DD situation is nothing to stress over. I don't think that one can describe mature students or younger students in such monolithic terms. I've experienced a range of abilities, levels of application, etc. in students of all ages.

@Fladdermus

Starting lectures on time - what madness!

They would have loved me - when I was a mature student I made a complaint about a group of students who turned up 15 minutes late every single time, and brought breakfast with them - not just a drink - bacon sarnies, McDs etc. Disrupted everyone else
Hot food was banned - I was not popular

‘She said she will sleep on it but her whatsapps been buzzing away with chat about the email no doubt’

@ChinnyChin2 page 2

I remember from being a student, everyone hated mature students. This is because they show up the standard-age students , who don't have that much time for studying because they have such a lot of young people nonsense going on.

We didn't like them because they were diligent, offered considered and mature opinions that showed us all up. They did all the reading , even the optional stuff, and they genuinely enjoyed it. They got firsts in all their essays.

We also didn't like them because they were old and therefore we were constrained in what we could say in front of them. We were glad when they left with their earnest opinions on subject related matters and we could really concentrate on our excessive drinking, smoking and mindless flirting again (this was the 90s, I am sure young people may vary their time-wasting activities today).

I would just tell your daughter, dislike of mature students is as old as the student she's talking about, But she should be honest about the reasons she doesn't like them and she has no reason to think they are getting unearned favourable treatment.

This has nothing to do with your DD and doesn’t impact her
She needs to move on

What does ‘bragging’ about completing assignments even look like. Maybe its just a statement of fact.

I see this sort of language all the time on MN. Someone is apparently 'bragging' about something when it seems to be all they've done is mention it.

Some people get incredibly worked up at anyone ever mentioning anything that could be considered some sort of achievement.

You live in a shit town and someone happens to mention they live in the neighbouring much nicer one? Bragging.

You are on the basic salary band for your job and a colleague mentions they've been put forward for a promotion that will put them on a higher band? Bragging.

Your sister mentions happily that your nephew just passed his drving test first time, and you know your kids all took theirs twice, even though she never mentioned your kids at all by way of comparison? Bragging.

Just booked a holiday to Florida and mentioned it to your SIL who is going to Devon and struggling to afford that? Well, obviously you are bragging.

Even if the comment was not said with the intention of making someone else feel lesser, if it does, then there will be an accusation of bragging, or 'they think they are better than us.'

So the OP's DD might be struggling with her deadline, so someone else mentioning they finished an assignment with time to spare is automatically considered to be bragging.

These things always say more about the accuser than the 'bragger.' It must be depressing to live in such a way that you see everyone else as a threat to your own self worth.

My DH currently has a group of students like this. Frothing each other up into formally complaining about stuff that makes them look like utter twits.

Like 'playing favourites' ie starting the lecture on time for the handfull of punctual students rather than waiting half an hour for the rest to meander in.

Their latest formal complain about him is that his exam paper had questions that weren't on last years exam paper. How is it reasonable to expect them to prepare if they don't know what to prepare for!