DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

TBF (unfortunately) there are massive issues with odd harassing behaviour at universities....

Some of it sexual of course, especially on courses where there needs to be contact/fieldwork/physical time etc.

Lots of male academics with "reputations" who aren't sacked (but colleagues watch them and try to stop young females being 1-1 with them).

Pretty much endemic and lots of payments being made to cover up the issue (with NDAs so the scale of the problem is just coming out).

Good reason to detach from any student drama or situations, and quietly focus on your own journey, and the overall end grade and career prospects.

No evidence of this based on this email.

However if lecturers/fellow students are creating a weird vibe which is a bit too informal/crossing boundaries and it's a bit of a cesshole I'd definitely pull back and detach.

Do the minimum to get the grade and move away or on. An undergraduate module shouldn't be that intense.

Christ how mortifying for the sender of the email 😳

Agree 💯

There’s a big difference between a 21yr old that has an outside chance of working at some point before they retire and therefore a chance they might pay some of Their Student Loan and
A soon to be retiree who has no intention to work after their degree.

ITS A HUGE DIFFERENCE

But even when this is true objectivity is not difficult: mark the work, not the person. And ultimately this is just an essay, not a major exam

I was a mature student. I had a lecture I liked and who spent a lot of extra time with me due to me struggling in that topic (As I entered as a mature student I didn't have the A level everyone else had). We also had similar views around the topic and world views so got along.

I would laugh if anyone thought we where flirting though. We where both married women with children and there was 20 years between us... no one ever suggested it but in double standards I bet had it been a male lecturer someone would have jumped to conclusions.

Its silly really.

As for favoritism, some people struggle more in some areas than others. The actual exam results are correct or not there was no favoritism going on and the lecturer doesn't mark it anyway. Even if somehow I had had a crush on her if anything the very nice lecturer probably thought I was a bit dim not 'sexy' for needing so much extra help lol.

Another academic, you can often tell whose essay you're marking even when it's anonymous. Especially if you've recently given them a tutorial.

@Justpontificating but there are a huge number of 21 year olds graduating university who will never pay their student loans back.

Whereas I know of mature students who have started paying back immediately after graduating as they've secured jobs or promotions which pay more than the current repayment threshold.

Yep. I think that's across all UK public universities. You have to declare a sexual relationship with a student you teach, and then you're not allowed to teach, supervise or grade that student.

I'm not sure if that's true of the private ones, like Buckingham and the British Institute of Technology, but I'd think so.

Marking is usually anonymous at universities at least for coursework, so I am not sure how any of this would work in the mature student’s favour (or disfavour)

Agree @Emotionalsupportviper 18yr olds do not get first choice or any special privileges because of their age. That is discrimination

However

I do not agree with people who are 40plus getting full student loans for fees and maintenance. On the obvious basis of their age this loan cannot possibly ever be paid paid during their employment years as there simply aren’t enough years.
Two 60 plus neighbours of ours are doing degrees and they have fees and maintenance loans. By the time they complete they will be past retirement age and therefore have no intention of paying a single penny back.
This is one of the key reasons interests rates on student loans are astronomical. It’s not right to be allowed to borrow such huge sums of money when there is no intention to repay it.

My God.

Imagine what it must have been like to teach this young woman at primary and secondary school.

And what sort of parent her Mum was.

This is why teachers are leaving the profession.

How rude 😬

Tbh
This attitude towards mature students is horrible and reeks of pure envy.

Do you think we're going to be in the paper! 😱

There are plenty of other ways to study when you are older.

The OU suited you. It doesn't suit everyone. It wouldn't have suited me. My son got his degree with hem

Why don't you suggest that the 18 year olds seek other opportunities for learning?

Places aren't (or at least didn't used to be) assigned to fill quotas. If there are 20 places available, the 20 students who best fit the academic profile will be offered them. Occasionally there may be two equally excellent students for the 20th place. It is then not unknown for the uni to stretch their intake for a further student.

No mature student is taking a place from an innocent, starry-eyed teenager. Trust me on this.

As a 25-year-old, I was a student only a few years ago.

Your daughter really needs to calm down about this. Tell her to see the funny side. We would've laughed this off in undergrad. Also, leave the mature student alone. It's hard enough being over-22 on a university campus for God's sake. The marking is all done anonymously, so it really doesn't matter if "flirting" is going on. This isn't a safeguarding issue.

I'm also kind of alarmed that they're all WhatsApping all evening about this. Surely they have better things to do?

Re: the supposed "favouritism", when I was at university all assignments had to be submitted to the office in anonymised form, and were marked by two separate members of staff, to avoid any favouritism. Do they not have something like that at your daughter's university? I'd be surprised if they didn't...

I'll bet she knows what being an adult is when it comes to doing what she likes . . .

Just read that you have seen the email and think it's flirtatious too. Would 9 out of 10 people agree?

Indeed- it might have been "I've got my assignment in and now have more time to spend on the badminton court. Prepare for me beat your arse at the next meeting of the club."

Or similar.

Three points.

1. You haven't seen the allegedly "flirtatious" email, so it might be not flirtatious at all.
2. A mature student at uni used to complete ALL the written assignments before the lectures had even been given, by using the reading and assignment lists given at the start of the term. Completing an assignment early is fact, and not necessarily boasting.
3. One of my emails at work went out to all staff when it was sent only to staff at a regional office. Turned out to be a sudden glitch in the system that was only discovered through my email. Mature student might be innocent of "Reply to All".

I would like to be a fly on the wall when DD's complaint is received.

OP has name changed to KeepCalmPlease, and has said from the first post that she's not sure why her DD is so worked up about it.

The DD may be overreacting but I'm not sure why OP is getting flack.

I'm definitely with you on that one. Who talks like this lol

"She was right, sleeping on it did help her think about the situation."

Noooooooooooo!!! I cannot believe that this is actually real and these conversations are taking place in your household 😂