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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

459 replies

KeepCalmPlease · 09/04/2024 23:11

NC just in case.
Daughter is angry this eve as a mature student on her course has mistakenly replied all to the class, instead of just her lecturer. In the email, apparently they brag about finishing their assigned work early, and then flirt about a shared hobby with lecturer. Daughter wants to bring this up formally with the institution along with other friends of hers. I haven't seen the email so I'm not sure what "flirting" is but I suspect the mature student, being older, just shares a hobby with lecturer (and likes being teachers pet).
My advice to her is just ignore the mistake, keep your head down and make sure your own work is done. AIBU?

I'm not sure why DD is so exasperated by this. I'm sure many emails fly about all day in academia.

OP posts:
ASighMadeOfStone · 10/04/2024 20:20

Abbimae · 10/04/2024 20:15

If reply all shows all emails it’s GDPR

It's been explained upthread why, in this instance, it isn't.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 20:20

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 20:04

You could not be more wrong in the assumptions you have made and I don’t need to explain myself to a random person like yourself. Like I have said previously it really has nothing to do with you.

Edited
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Aka you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Abbimae · 10/04/2024 20:15

If reply all shows all emails it’s GDPR

Original poster
KeepCalmPlease · 10/04/2024 20:13

CrazyHedgehogLover · 10/04/2024 19:59

@Otherstories2002 where is it any of your business what the PP does🧐? You sound like the OPs daughter.. another busybody who thinks they know what’s happening in everyone’s lives when in reality you don’t have any idea what pension this poster will receive (not really any of your business anyway🤷‍♀️).. whether they LIVE WITH SOMEONE not OFF someone else..
Whether or not they will actually have to repay the student loan back.. AND I’m sure this poster will have looked into what she will need to pay back.. how and with what.. so why the need for your stupid comments?

you just sound jealous that this poster is clearly excited and has ambitions for when retiring..

Please don't offensively bring my DD into your separate row !

OP posts:
Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 20:04

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:57

It’s not whether I know about your finances, it’s like saying I’m going to claim a pension of £60000 and not pay tax. No you aren’t. Just like you aren’t getting a loan and not paying it back with a decent pension.

And the reality is you know I’m right, or you know you don’t know what you’re talking about which is why you haven’t explained to me why I am wrong.

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You could not be more wrong in the assumptions you have made and I don’t need to explain myself to a random person like yourself. Like I have said previously it really has nothing to do with you.

missshilling · 10/04/2024 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CrazyHedgehogLover · 10/04/2024 19:59

@Otherstories2002 where is it any of your business what the PP does🧐? You sound like the OPs daughter.. another busybody who thinks they know what’s happening in everyone’s lives when in reality you don’t have any idea what pension this poster will receive (not really any of your business anyway🤷‍♀️).. whether they LIVE WITH SOMEONE not OFF someone else..
Whether or not they will actually have to repay the student loan back.. AND I’m sure this poster will have looked into what she will need to pay back.. how and with what.. so why the need for your stupid comments?

you just sound jealous that this poster is clearly excited and has ambitions for when retiring..

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:57

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:47

Righty oh! You know best about my finances, thank god I have you to put me right 😂bye bye

Show quote history

It’s not whether I know about your finances, it’s like saying I’m going to claim a pension of £60000 and not pay tax. No you aren’t. Just like you aren’t getting a loan and not paying it back with a decent pension.

And the reality is you know I’m right, or you know you don’t know what you’re talking about which is why you haven’t explained to me why I am wrong.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:47

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:43

One of four things is true.

Your pension is crap.
You live off someone else.
You will be paying it back.
You have no idea what you’re talking about.

What you are not doing is retiring with a good pension and not paying a loan back.

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Righty oh! You know best about my finances, thank god I have you to put me right 😂bye bye

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:43

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:40

Don’t worry yourself with my financial situation. I will be just fine and will be having a great time.

Show quote history

One of four things is true.

Your pension is crap.
You live off someone else.
You will be paying it back.
You have no idea what you’re talking about.

What you are not doing is retiring with a good pension and not paying a loan back.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:40

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:37

Because if it was a healthy pension you would know that you will be paying the loan back into retirement and beyond. How are you planning on living? Self assessments etc count toward repayment. Unless you’re planning on retiring and living off less than the threshold (crappy pension) for the rest of your life you’re paying it back.

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Don’t worry yourself with my financial situation. I will be just fine and will be having a great time.

ColleenDonaghy · 10/04/2024 19:39

oakleaffy · 10/04/2024 19:16

“Teacher’s pet”?
That’s so deeply immature to call anyone “Teacher’s pet” - like farcically so.

The mature student is probably keen, closer to the lecturer in age and heck, wanting to “ Report “is just nuts.

The student or lecturer have done nothing wrong.

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If the student did send a flirty email to their lecturer then they have done something wrong, that's completely inappropriate. Nothing to do with OP's DD and something I'm sure the lecturer can shut down, but still very much not ok.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:37

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:33

Ummm, still don’t understand why I have a crappy pension, expand please. Thank you for your advice to research, my financial affairs are in good order thanks and very healthy. Looking forward to going to uni!

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Because if it was a healthy pension you would know that you will be paying the loan back into retirement and beyond. How are you planning on living? Self assessments etc count toward repayment. Unless you’re planning on retiring and living off less than the threshold (crappy pension) for the rest of your life you’re paying it back.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:33

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:27

Because if you don’t then you’re paying it back. Better start researching eh.

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Ummm, still don’t understand why I have a crappy pension, expand please. Thank you for your advice to research, my financial affairs are in good order thanks and very healthy. Looking forward to going to uni!

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:27

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:23

How and why do I have an crappy pension? Explain please.

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Because if you don’t then you’re paying it back. Better start researching eh.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:23

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:17

Oh well at least I know you have a crappy pension.

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How and why do I have an crappy pension? Explain please.

willWillSmithsmith · 10/04/2024 19:23

This thread is going off topic. I thought I’d mistakenly stumbled into a student loan thread?

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 10/04/2024 19:20

Student loans were a ridiculous idea, they're an extra tax on the poor (the richest students stick them in high interest accounts & their parents pay their debts)

That's not really true. The poor and 'disadvantaged' often get grants and bursaries which can see their whole course paid for, so they start off better off than many students from middle class backgrounds. Only the very rich will end up with no student debt at all thanks to Mummy and Daddy. Most moderately well off parents will supplement their childrens' loans to pay their rent or whatever, but still expect them to take the loans on and to pay them back.

It's the squeezed middle who really suffer. Parents not poor enough for the student to get any extra help beyond the basic level of loans, parents still expected to stump up extra to help with accommodation costs, but not rich enough for that to not hurt, and not rich enough to pay down their child's debt for them at some point in the future either.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:17

This reply has been deleted

We are taking this down as it is not in the spirit of the site.

Oh well at least I know you have a crappy pension.

oakleaffy · 10/04/2024 19:16

MariaLuna · 09/04/2024 23:41

and likes being teachers pet

Goodness, did they not graduate from Primary School?!

“Teacher’s pet”?
That’s so deeply immature to call anyone “Teacher’s pet” - like farcically so.

The mature student is probably keen, closer to the lecturer in age and heck, wanting to “ Report “is just nuts.

The student or lecturer have done nothing wrong.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:06

This reply has been deleted

We are taking this down as it is not in the spirit of the site.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:05

Topseyt123 · 10/04/2024 18:47

I hate to disappoint you but no, they are not paid back. Very few student loans are repaid. Sometimes a smidge is shaved off here and there, but virtually no student loans are ever paid back.

The capital is hardly ever eroded.

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Now that I do want sourced. Happy to accept that a decent chunk don’t pay it back in full but hardly ever seems unlikely.

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:04

missshilling · 10/04/2024 18:34

“While most borrowers will repay at least some of their loan, the income contingent nature of the loans means only 27% of full-time undergraduate higher education borrowers starting a course in 2022/23 are expected to repay their loan in full.“

https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/student-loan-forecasts-for-england

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need more context than that. Not paying it back in full doesn’t mean they haven’t paid a significant chunk bank. Also degrees tend to lead to higher rates of employment, tax paid etc.

The older generations are also more likely to complete degrees in areas of shortfall, teaching, nursing etc so the benefit of them completing the job and working in that field far outweighs not paying loan back in full - also note that nurses earn less than the threshold to pay back which is pretty gross in its own right.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/04/2024 19:04

Otherstories2002 · 10/04/2024 19:01

When you finish work? As in after retirement? Don’t expect full maintenance loan and how are you paying it back?

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Yes and I do plan on retiring at 50, won’t need a maintenance loan and don’t expect I will ever work again to pay back the tuition fee!