DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

Marking is usually anonymous anyway so for exam scripts and coursework (all on the same topic, generally following the same answer outline) it would be really hard to show favouritism unless they were really explicitly cheating. Even then I think there are usually multiple rounds of marking with different parties.

I’m so confused. What does any of it have to do with your daughter (other than receiving the email)?

Bit harsh. So should all kids stop turning to their parents for advice or sharing their life with their parents once they turn 18? My own daughter can share her problems with me until we're both old and grey as far as I'm concerned and I'd rather she felt able to be open with me. I think it actually shows a degree of emotional maturity from OP's daughter that she's discussing it with her mum. She's probably discussing it with her because on some level she's unsure how to proceed and she respects OP's opinion. If she was egging her mum to get involved and fight her battles for her then that's a different story.

I would be more concerned that your daughter and classmates are watsapping none stop about this, very childish of her and also embarrassing, seems more like jealousy on your daughter’s part, even though she’s technically an adult, she still runs to mummy so as her parent I would definitely have this discussion with her to mind her own business

Even if she's right that there's some flirtation there, its none of her concern. The most likely result of her getting involved in any way is that she'll look ridiculous and petty. She's wasting energy and headspace that would be better applied to her studies.

Marking is almost always anonymous and moderated so your DD would just make herself seem silly.
Students (mature or otherwise) flirting with the lecturer is probably a daily occurence. Unless your DD has some evidence that this tutor has behaved inappropriately (rather than just receiving an email which talks about a hobby!) I don’t really see there is anything to report.

Your dd will make an absolute arse of herself if she complains about this as it doesn't sound as if there's any evidence of rules being broken or injustice at play. I would very explicitly tell her this then let her get on with it.

She's 18. She's an adult but an inexperienced adult who thinks she knows it all but in reality is not yet out of the mentality of the highschool playground. This isn't unusual and doesn't make her a bad person or you a bad parent but it does mean that she might need to learn from her own mistakes. All that you can do is advise her and stay factual and impartial.

On the flip side it's unlikely she's going to do herself or the other student any major harm if she does report it providing that it doesn't escalate into bullying of the student/lecturer. If this is the dumbest thing she does/considers doing this year then I'd take that as a win tbh

She should report it

I'd encourage her to not say a word. Unless she wants to look ridiculous.

This would be a good time to use a decision tree so she can see that there is probably no benefit to her, or to others, in complaining. But there is probably detriment to herself, the lecturer, the HOD if she does. Conclusion: better not to complain.

Have you read the email? Is it flirty or is it just a more confident and mature tone, talking more as equals?

We use a virtual learning environment which allows whole class messaging. I don’t think I have ever seen a student reply all though.

I’d like to know why the lecturer is sending out emails in a way that allows people to reply all. There must be a better way of contacting the whole mailing list.

Leave it, she will look like a trouble maker, she will also end up all alone, with those who were egging her on side stepping from the drama leaving her to fight alone.

What does your daughter think is the problem?
What’s making her stamp her little feeties and shake her curls and wail ‘It’s not faaaaiiiirrrr’ ?

Having a mature student might well be a breath of fresh air amongst all the whiney, angsty and squabblesome children they have to wade through every week.
I get like that sometimes in some primary school classes. A craving for someone who gets a joke, or who can share the sodding equipment and space without a fuss. Or who was just a bit more mature about lining up.
Only in my head though. Outwardly I smile and nurture and count the pencils and listen to the complaints and work out solutions.

Unless you've read the email, you don't know if what the tone actually is. U leas this person has specifically said I've done this and all the others have t, aren't I a good student, I seriously doubt it's bragging. And having shared interests doesn't make the student a suck up. Your daughter sounds immature. And a little jealous/ spiteful.

I’m a head of department, so the person who this sort of complaint would come to. While it’s not exactly unusual to have to deal with situations where students have been winding each other up on WhatsApp over something ridiculous, it is still irritating to have to spend time that I don’t have looking into and responding to these situations. The HoD will no doubt roll their eyes at the mature student, but they will be doing that twice over re. your daughter. I agree that the best course of action is to ask her to look at the university’s policies and regulations and identify which has been breached (it will be none of them).

Univ lecturer here. She needs to focus on her own work and ignore this. Any complaint about this could only be framed as an allegation that the staff member might mark the student’s work more leniently. The investigation will simply result in your Dd being reminded that a moderation process is in place. The staff member might be asked if she/he has any concerns about the other student’s behaviour - that depends on what the univ policy says about staff- student relationships. If staff member has concerns, she/he will have raised them and produced the email in any case.

I’ve had students over the years complain that another student shouldn’t have been granted an extension. I take a very dim view of students who make that kind of complaint. They’re not 12 and they shouldn’t behave as though they are.

YANBU they are creating drama out of this. They have only seen an email from the student, the student has already embarrassed themselves which is punishment enough. Technically theve done nothing wrong, I doubt there is a rule that students can’t email teachers in this way.

They haven’t seen anything from the professor to suggest that they are flirting or favouriting the student so there’s no wrong doing.

Absolutely, and I would be strongly suggesting to her that she does.

My 3 girls are less than perfect, but they would never snitch in this situation. Unless someone is in danger, it's never an attractive quality!