DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

I would also warn your dd to be careful what she puts in a group WhatsApp. She may think it’s private but every year someone in a group screenshots students WhatsApp messages from a cohort chat and sends it to me. Obviously not a problem if she’s not been inappropriate but if she’s been bitching, etc it could be.

Your DD is being utterly ridiculous and is on the path to making a complete fool of herself.

I'm currently a mature student and get on very well with one of my teachers. So much so that we now have a close friendship outside of school. Everyone knows, nobody is immature enough to care.

I’m doing a uni course as a mature student. Reply all email is cringey but I do have a different, more friendly, relationship with the lecturer than I did when I was at uni early 20s (I’m doing a post grad course at 42). We both have children and life experiences in common. There’s a few mature students on my course so we all have that friendlier relationship.

All work is submitted with our candidate number and names aren’t allowed so there’s no marking bias.

your dd isn’t at school. Uni is different and her outrage misplaced.

And so what? What on earth has that got to do with your daughter? There is no suggestion anywhere that the student is getting any benefit so who cares?

So what does it actually say?
'Hey hot stuff... look at me, I'm the cleverest and bestest student you'll ever see... I've done so well on my essay. . Better than anyone else can ever be...just look at me, I outshine everyone else, and you love me'
(Sing to Gerri Halliwell Look at me if people want as its just been on Spotify!)

Same, pp likening to a witchfinder general is apt, especially with regards to the magnanimous daughter will 'sleep on it' then grandly decide 'not to take it further' as if its up to her! 😆
It really is scary how some of gen-z really do think they have a scary level of power as to the admonishment and punishment* *that other's should be dolled out because of their (batshit) opinions!

relationships between lecturers and students arent illegal, she needs a hobby

THIS!!!

I’m already feeling sorry for your DD’s future work colleagues.

It's nothing to do with your DD. The student has made a bit of a fool of themselves and has no doubt spent the night cringing themselves inside out.

The lecturer couldn't care less I'd imagine. Probably an eye roll and maybe a giggle when they realise the reply all. Hopefully it's a one off, I'm a lecturer and a couple of female colleagues have had a lot of unwanted attention from female students who got a bit besotted. It was very unpleasant for my colleagues.

All of this

I agree with PP’s, your daughter is going to make a fool of herself.

Op, you really need to knock this issue on the head
Even if the email is ‘flirty’ or ‘braggy’ ( and we only have your word on this) what the hell has this got to do with your dd.?
All this energy should be channelled into revising for upcoming exams.

It sounds as if your DD has been made to feel insecure by the mere existence of this mature student. I suspect she fears they automatically have an advantage purely by being older. Perhaps they have repeatedly demonstrated more self discipline, or better ogansiation and a stronger work ethic than the younger cohort and your DD is feeling inferior and defensive about that.

The younger ones are obviously going to be more easily distracted by the usual things; booze, boys, crises of confidence, the inability to get up before noon, struggling with living away from home and managing their own finances etc, etc. A mature student has usually worked through all that, so might be better able to just focus on the work.

As for 'flirting' with the tutor, I really doubt that's true. That's just your DD's insecurity speaking. She obviously feels they are sucking up to the tutor by finding common ground to bond with them. Let's imagine they are both Arsenal supporters and the email finished with 'by the way, what a great result last night! Saka was outstanding!' or something along those lines.

DD will see that as a cynical ploy to worm their way into the tutor's good books, in a way that she can't possibly do. But to frame it as 'flirting' is childish and ridiculous and she'll make herself look like a petulant child if she makes a complaint along those lines. She will embarrass herself.

She should grow up and let it go. The mature student is not in direct competition with her, and even if the mature student did gain some perceived advantage in her own results by being pally with the tutor, that does absolutely nothing to affect your DDs ability to achieve great results. The only person she is in competition with is herself, so that's who she should focus on.

And this was deserved of "bringing it up formally with the institution" and anger?

I'm not sure when being very braggy became a crime. Honestly, good luck to her when she joins the workplace. 🙄

I can see you talked sense into her fortunately, it saved her a lot of embarrassment.

The truth is that mature students generally work harder and as a result do better than younger students .
Mature students often have sacrificed a lot to attend the course. They often have children, part time jobs and many other responsibilities. They complete assignments on time because they manage their time well.
When I was a uni all the mature students received either a 1st or a 2:1.
I think posters should give OP’s daughter a bit of slack. She is young and just has a lot of growing up to do.

All firsts and fails are double marked.

So bloody what?!?! Jesus no wonder your DD is the way she is with a mother like you. Why has she now shown you the email?! Do you not have any actual real world problems to deal with other than the business of two complete (adult) strangers?!

If I'd have gone home and told my mum I got sent an email accidentally (with absolutely nothing at all of my concern in it) and I was thinking of complaining she would tell me to mind my own business and concentrate on my own work!

your daughter and classmates are watsapping none stop about this,

where does the OP say this @TwinklyRoseTurtle ?

Who cares if it was?

let’s get over this whole women bash women. Rather than trying to stick it to a woman tell her to spend some time doing her work.

Well I've seen the email and to be fair it's a bit flirty and very braggy.

So what?

DD has come to senses and isn't going to take it further

This sounds like she still thinks there's something to complain about. There's literally nothing to take further!!

I think in this case it wouldn't be about shooting the messenger but more about bringing justifiably pissed off. If the OPs daughter complains then it would just look like shit stirring.
They've done nothing wrong!

This takes me right back to when I was a mature student and there was a very immature little narcissist who lost her mind repeatedly about any perceived unfairness and was always “snitching” about bloody everything. Somebody went over the word count - complaint. Somebody got an extension she didn’t think they should have - complaint. Somebody was in front of her in the rotation - complaint. She was an absolute ballache. She couldn’t get it into her head at all that someone else getting a decent mark for something didn’t mean they were taking marks off her. It was a health course and her reputation has stuck within what is a fairly small professional community. It’s a shame she hadn’t been born earlier, she could have had a good career as as the witchfinder general. I was luckily average and old enough to stay under her radar. The people she hated most were the younger mature students, mid to late 20s. One guy in particular she was absolutely gunning for and I’m sure it’s because he was good looking and quick witted and a bit of a “lad” and she thought that meant he should be thick and she couldn’t understand that he got good marks.
Absolutely no good can come of a “complaint” that someone your dd doesn’t like has finished an assignment early (boast? Fml) and has made a mistake in clicking “reply to all”. Tell her to concentrate on her own business and try to not make a tit of herself.

All student and staff emails are searchable on our system so this wouldn't breach any rules. The email addresses are allocated by the university to the students for the purpose of making them contactable by other people in the university - they are not the student's private information.

In this case it's unprofessional to be sending overly personal emails via a work email, something informal is fine but not something flirtatious. On the other hand it's not a problem for students and staff to socialise, they are not school children. Generally it's better to assume someone might accidentally forward your email and keep private things for a personal email address or WhatsApp.

There's nothing to complain about I don't think but hopefully your daughter can learn the lesson at someone else's expense!