If I make a complaint about my GP refusing to prescribe medication

I complained yesterday.
I complained about:

• The lack of direct communication
• The insensitive comments about infertility
• The fact it's detailed in my records that a gynaecologist previously advised against the coil and one type of pill he previously "approved" due to the way I react to it and guidance advises against the other due to my high BMI and the risk of clots.

• The fact that throughout the entire situation, I was left feeling like the only thing anyone was bothered about were risks to a foetus that will likely never exist. Risks to me were completely overlooked.

It's being investigated and the complaints manager is going to go through the recorded phone calls so she can listen to the full interaction and act accordingly.

I'm going to stop following this thread now as the complaint is made and I can't take it back, and wouldn't if I could.

Unfortunately I can't take Cerelle - or any other progesterone only pills. Or the implant, or the depo injection for some reason progesterone only medications administered in those ways make me bleed constantly. I was advised by the gynaecologist not to use them. She also advised not to have the copper coil due to the risk of heavier periods, as I struggle with anaemia

My BMI is over 30, so I would need a medical assessment before being prescribed a combined pill due to the risk of clots.

I can just about tolerate the mirena coil, although I felt so much better mood wise after it was out, and managed to lose weight. That's by the by though because even if I was willing to go on it, the GP says it's not effective enough.

The above is half my annoyance and part of my reason for making a complaint. I don't think it's good practice to agree to prescribe, or insert things without seeing the patient or at least checking their medical history. All of the above is clearly detailed in my records.

I recognise the risks to a foetus have to be taken into account. But putting everything about my husband to the side, I've been left feeling like my health doesn't matter because the GP didn't even look at my own medical history, and was going to prescribe a pill that would either make me bleed heavily every day, or potentially give me blood clots. A foetus that may never exist shouldn't have more rights to safety than the adult who is alive and breathing.

I'm glad you disagree, but equally all guidance for topiramate says I must be informed of the risks and strongly advised to use effective contraception.

I haven't been informed of the risks, I haven't had any conversation other than "the risk is too high as it can harm foetus'".
Other than that been told my husband being infertile doesn't reduce risk as I could have an affair. Oh and that it's still too risky, even though my husband has spina bifida himself, and I support him and care for him when he's unwell.

Other people seem to be prescribed it fine, and have reasonable conversations with their GPs. Mine just seems to think I should be allowed to suffer because if I have a uterus I'm clearly going to sleep with any man that moves.

And to be honest, even if the guidance or the law said I must be on contraception, it is utterly unacceptable to tell someone who has just disclosed their husband is infertile that they could sleep with another man.

That's incredibly sad, but not relevent to me as it's not the medication he's been asked to prescribe me

"Any arguments about this being paternalistic/ patronising/ invasion of privacy for your husband should be directed to the MHRA"

But it is all of those things. Because all guidance says the patients should be informed/advised of risks and the need to use highly effective contraception. All guidance says to take personal circumstances into account.
From the middle link:
"The likelihood of pregnancy is not constant and can vary with changes in a woman’s circumstances during treatment. Therefore, the likelihood of pregnancy should be assessed before each prescription of a medicine with known teratogenic potential"

The GP is refusing to do this. He is refusing to make an assessment based on me as a patient, despite all guidelines saying this should be done. The risk of pregnancy hasn't actually been assessed beyond the fact I'm of childbearing age and the GPs opinion that I could fall pregnant to another man. He clearly cannot see beyond the fact I have a uterus and would rather I suffer than actually follow guidance and assess case by case.

What the GP should be doing is communicating with me about my circumstances, and making a decision based on that. He should not be making a decision based on the opinion that because I have a uterus I could have a hypothetical foetus from a hypothetical affair.
Circumstances that should be considered:

1. I haven't had a child in 10 years, due to always being on some level of contraception.
2. My daughter is medically complex, has a heart defect, has had multiple open heart surgeries, and will need more within the next 5 years. She also has ADHD, ASD, moderate learning difficulties and I am her full time carer.
3. The fact I'm chronically ill, and undergoing regular invasive tests to diagnose. I'm also on another medication that isn't safe to take in pregnancy.
4. I give a lot of support to my husband who is physically disabled
5. My husband is infertile.
6. My husband's disability is caused by a neural tube defect. I know the impact and risks to life they carry. I went into further detail about what we go through up thread. Any decisions I've made are informed because how can I not be aware when we live that life as a family every day.

If after that the GP still felt the risk was too high after assessing the risk based on me as a patient, rather than the fact I have a uterus, then I would disagree with his decision but not make a complaint because it would be a decision he made fairly after being presented with all information. But he hasn't done that, because he can only see me as a vessel to carry a child.

Thank you for being able to see this from my perspective, and for being able to see why I'm so frustrated.

Unfortunately I have to give a reason for an appointment, and this GP seems to be making it impossible for me to get an appointment. When I explained my husband has spina bifida (myelomeningocele) to the pharmacist she said the risk is still too high. However, I'm going to call back, explain the situation and see if the receptionists can do anything. They're lovely and very supportive.

As I've said before, I really feel like the GP has focussed so much on my uterus and a hypothetical foetus that will never be able to accidentally come to existence, he can't or won't see anything else. I just wanted to be able to have an honest conversation with him, so he could see that there are very specific circumstances surrounding my decision to refuse contraception.

When the complaints manager calls, do you think it would be worth explaining everything I've explained in here about how I recognise why he doesn't want to prescribe, but that there needs to be a conversation about this because as well as being infertile, my husband actually has spina bifida, so I'm well informed about the impact and risks of neural tube defects because we live with it every day?
I know a complaint can't force the GP to prescribe, but maybe it will mean that there is conversation about seeing the whole patient and not just part of them.

But nobody has said that have they?

In fact, as I said further up the thread, my husband has Spina Bifida. He's one of the 75% of men with the condition that are infertile.

I live with the impact of Spina Bifida every day. And when I say that, I'm not just talking about infertility. I'm talking about the days where spina bifida leaves my husband so exhausted, he can barely stand up. Pressure sores from the straps on his splints, that plasters and knee length socks don't protect against. Having to massage his legs and feet because they go purple due to a lack of circulation. The difficulties with coordination, and the lack of feeling caused by nerve damage. Checking his feet daily for sores and cracks because he can't feel his feet nor move them to check due to a lack of ankle mobility. The effects the spina bifida associated brain damage has on his memory. The damage to his self esteem that his disability has caused. The impact of a lack of knowledge around non traumatic spinal cord injuries amongst medical professionals. The impact that having to catheterise and do hour long bowel wash outs has on everything from planning a day out, to planning when we can be intimate because everything has to be scheduled around those things. The impact of a lack of bowel care policies or specialist bowel nurses for people with spinal cord injuries in and out of hospital. The trauma caused by years of surgeries and hospital admissions. The impact of planning our future and having to plan financially for the fact that DH will likely become a full time wheelchair user within the next 20 years, and having to save up so that when we're closer to that point, we can buy a bungalow and have it adapted if need be. The emotional impact knowing that no matter what he does to protect his kidneys, one day DH will most likely die from kidney damage caused by NLUTD.

I am probably more informed about the long term impact of neural tube defects on a person and their wider family than most, if not all posters on this thread. If there was any chance of conceiving and becoming pregnant I would be on contraception. As it stands, there isn't.