To think people shouldn’t have new babies when there’s so many unresolved issues with older kids

Yes, I have. Obviously.

What powers do you think they have to remove a video for an account they have no access to? AFAIK they flagged it with the parents but the video is still up

Yep!! Whenever they have one of those creepy family photos I think the older ones just radiate sadness

I want the school to do more, to give her a harder punishment.

But I’m satisfied, for now, that DD isn’t engaging with her - and that’s only because I’ve been done all those things you’ve listed, and I’m not sorry i’d do it again in a heartbeat.

And I’m pleased your girls had the nouse to distance themselves from their bullies. I actually said yonDD’s teacher that I wish this child was an ‘old school’ bully that was just only ever mean to her, not half-in half-out. It would be easier. But this is how toxic relationships operate and too right I’m getting my DD out of that and teaching her why it’s so bad for her

Or they love pregnancy. I’m sure that weird kids and counting woman said she’s addicted to being pregnant. There’s no way you can have 23/24 kids and be the mum they need to ALL of them

She’s 10. 10 and in a toxic friendship. I will always step in when she needs me to and with this she didn’t have the maturity or foresight to realise that people like that are NOT your friend just because they’re super sweet a fraction of the time.

The dad is a teacher no idea about the mum if she works or not.

It’s a shame this thread has taken a dark turn with benefits bashing. Especially when you consider that the 2-child cap has put so many children in poverty. Is that a better alternative than people earning £200k being a bit inconvenienced?

It's a shame you have not mentioned how to bolster her own abilities to deal with people like this, because she is growing up and needs to practice skills of brushing off, avoiding, compromising, blanking, supporting, understanding.

I have - i think you’ve assumed I’ve shared every word verbatim that I’ve exchanged with my DD on here. I haven’t. We have had many long conversations and my no 1 priority right now is to boost her self esteem

Stand back, Stop judging others. Give your kid a shed load of hugs and treats after a bad day. Rather than denigrating others, use that breath to remind her how great she is. Then send her back in the next day with the promise that some people are not nice but there are always nice ones out there somewhere, keep looking. And stop there.

No, now way, I am not going to take such a feeble nanny pamby route with the person I love most in the world.

This is my little girl and it’s her life. Going to a place that where she should be learning, experiencing someone who 80% of the time passive aggressively shoves her( which when you’re tiny and this girl is a foot taller and much wider, is horrible) calls her fat, ugly, r*tard, makes her feel stupid because she needs help with maths, mocks her and makes her uncomfortable…the same person 20% of the time says she loves her she’s brilliant and funny and cute and kind and she doesn’t mean to be so nasty and is very sorry.

If this was a person she was dating I’d be calling the police for emotional abuse and my DD needs to learn that THIS, this very friendship is the epitome of emotional abuse and she needs to take a zero tolerance approach - a stance she needs to carry with her her whole life.

So no I will not be the parent who only says “You’re so kind and lovely and an awesome person, here have some crisps and ignore her and speak to nice people”. To me that’s what a parent who is quite happy for bullying to continue does. I’d rather take the affirmative action route even if my DD doesn’t like it and it might upset a random 10yo. But at least I’m doing something more than giving her a treat like a dog and spelling out the bleeding obvious

TBF, research shows that children are more likely to be ‘problem’ children if they’ve experienced a family split. And people who are together and only have kids with each other - yes there is such thing as have too many and too close together. Look at that ‘kids and counting’ family, it’s totally selfish behaviour. but they provide consistency that someone constantly meeting new partners and having babies with them doesn’t provide

I think people assume their kids don't need them much as they get older but they are wrong. My 9 year old for example needs emotional support and attention from me but in a different way from when he was 2. Just because he can play upstairs without my supervision doesn't mean he doesn't need me.

@cadburyegg this is so true. I was actually having this conversation with my friend the other day. The toddler says felt long and relentless and I longed for the days when they weren’t as needy. But now she’s 10 it’s a different kind of need and in a way it’s harder because what she needs isn’t always obvious.

Im in early peri-menopause so unlikely to have another baby but even if I did want to (and there’s always a bit of broodiness lurking!) there’s no way I’d dream of it because my DD is really gonna need me, undistracted and readily available, to battle the impending teen years which I already know are gonna be tough. I just couldn’t juggle a toddler and be the mum she needs.

Im not saying all mums of 10yo’s shouldn’t have other kids, every child is different. I didn’t feel like I ever needed my mum during the teens years but that’s because she wasn’t the kind of mum I could open up to, but my DD is very different as am I and I think she’s the type who, if she thought I was too busy, wouldn’t want to bother me.

I’ve mentioned it to her teachers, who did seem concerned but ultimately they have no control or say over social media. But I do hope safeguarding steps are being taken as yes the blow job gesture is seriously concerning at age 10!