Different surname for full-siblings

British tradition would be to have the father's surname. It was a tradition to use the mothers maiden name as a middle name, but that wasn't used as part of the surname. If you do any genealogy, this is well illustrated.

Have DC2 surname the same as DC1. DH can have his name first when he carries and births the baby. Honestly, don’t know why he thinks he should have his name and his name only when you’re the one carrying and birthing the baby!

If the names are hyphenated. So Adams-Lee for example, then the whole thing is usually used and Billy will be Billy A. If no hyphen, Bill Adams Lee may well be referred to as Billy L.

Ps there was never any question for us that dc2 would have the same surname. It's just so unusual for full siblings to have different surnames.

The only exception I guess is in countries where men and women have different surnames like -ov and -ova.

Haha he doesn't mind but we did have a sort of similar discussion to you and your dh.

Before dc1 was born, dh and his family were of the opinion that our names "sound better" in the order dadsname-mumsname. His name is two syllables, Longshort. Like, Manson. Mine is one long syllable like Blair. Everyone was adamant that Manson-Blair sounds better than Blair-Manson.

I was like, I want to have the first surname, I'm the one being pregnant and giving birth etc.

We left it till the birth which turned out to be very traumatic and there were moments when I or the baby could have died. When we were finally ok I was holding the baby and I turned to dh and I said "it's gotta be Blair-Manson." And he was so relieved we were OK he'd have agreed to Mickey Mouse lol

Still I was surprised years later when I saw dd's name on a handwritten list at nursery and she was simply Anna A not Anna A-J. Dh has never mentioned it since. Dd has known since she was really young, like 2yo, that one of the surnames is mine and one is dh's.

deed poll website even says it.

@momtoboys its tradition in Nordic countries to double barrel and they deal with subsequent generations by choosing one name from each side and combining.

She Does legally have mine but I've been told written down it looks like a middle name so no
one uses it and unlike PP my experience is the first one is dropped but there is no hyphen which is probably the difference. She is not aware her surname is different as didn't want to cause any upset/ confusion so she's only aware of my surname so she doesn't feel different to the other children (she's autistic and wouldn't understand) she's still too young and I plan to change it when I no longer need exes permission!

If these people are real and not the hypothetical couple that always gets cited on these threads then they are silly. In many many countries across the world children are given two surnames automatically and nobody adds 4 surnames together when they have kids; there is a choice made about which surnames are given to the children, one from each parent.

It's not true that people drop the first name out of a double barrel, particularly if hyphenated so can't be confused with a middle name. On school registers (for example) they'll be listed from the first one.

Eg if she's Anna Adams-Jones she'll be listed under A not J.

My kids are mumsname-dadsname. My dd has the same name as another girl in the class and they call her Anna A [first surname initial] not Anna J. I was expecting Anna A-J

So it's more like the second name is almost dropped.

In your shoes, I will use the same. The only person you need to be fair to is your first child.

I recently received a birth announcement from the children of an old friend. She and her DH were the first people I knew who hyphenated their surnames when they married. Their children have gone by James smith-jones. Well, James has married Mary Williams-Boyle and apparently the family now goes by James and Mary smith jones-Williams Boyle. I dread to think how convoluted their surnames will be in a couple of generations if this trend keeps up. Or, am I just out of touch and many people use this process for their surnames?

I don't get all of the "siblings have to have the same surname" - why? Yes it's tradition, but plenty of traditions change over time, and now more women keep their surname - plus more blended families - families having different surnames doesn't seem like a big deal. Siblings have different first names, looks, hair colour, personalities, hobbies.... literally everything else. Why the fixation?

So I sort of have this situation, my oldest has two surnames mine and exes but as soon as I named her everywhere immediately dropped mine and would only call her under his! So our other children have only mine (he wasn't happy about that but then he wasn't happy they had both anyway and wanted just his) we have split now and I'm glad I put mine with the others because nowhere calls DD my surname only exes, unfortunately I can't change it as he won't agree but different situation obviously and I've asked at school she's known as mine and she only knows herself as mine. But yes I do think people will assume not full siblings.

DH could always change his name to be the same as theirs if it bothers him that much?

Both have to be the same!

So odd that he’s fighting for the non traditional way round…most people with his sort of mindset seem to consider last position the “best”.

Your DH doesn't get to change the name now. Both have to be the same,

I would say the most important, longest relationship your baby will have is with his siblings rather than his parents. Them having the same surname is more important than your dh's feelings.

Dh and I have different surnames, two kids together, the first has his surname, the second mine. It had caused precisely no bother whatsoever in 11 (so far) years. Not even a mention from school or anything. People might presume they are half siblings, but let them, never bothered us in the slightest