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AIBU?

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Original poster

To sack off nephew's 1st birthday

56 replies

Biggybigbiggles · 09/04/2024 12:28

My family live abroad, couple of hours on a plane. I've visited 4 times in the last year (I hate going due to a combo of bad memories there and not enjoying being around my sister since she became a mum) but try to make an effort.

I've booked with partner to go out for nephew's birthday, it's a small at home get together.

Due to partners work/cost of flights we arrive on the day of the party a few hours after it starts but are staying 3 subsequent days. I've just told my sister and she's got in a massive huff about us missing the party and why couldn't I have made the effort to go the previous day.

I'm now tempted to just not go altogether, we have not gotten on at all since her having a baby. I feel often like she talks to me like a bit of shit on her shoe and I'm essentially a glorified slave when I visit.

Any attempt from me to help with anything is met with 'Don't do that, you can only help if you do exactly what I say, why did you do it like that?' Etc.

It's not in my nature to be confrontational but I'm getting so fucking pissed off.

So...

YABU - suck it up and go to the party
YANBU - I wouldn't go either

OP posts:
Crapuscular · 09/04/2024 12:43

Don't go.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/04/2024 12:40

I would not spend that kind of money/any money to go to a kid's first birthday party unless it's my grandchild's, and I especially wouldn't go if your sister is such a bitch to you.

CommentNow · 09/04/2024 12:39

Seems weird to go for the party and then miss the party.

How long is the party?

You arent unreasonable to simply have said you couldn't make the party but you will see them the next day but I think it's odd to turn up during a party.

Going or not going is fine, but to book a flight that will see you arrive late is a bit off IMO.

ZipZapZoom · 09/04/2024 12:37

If you don't want to go then cancel and don't go but to be honest if your visit was specifically planned for your nephews birthday party then it does seem daft to plan to arrive several hours after the party time so whilst you're not unreasonable to not go I can also see why it would annoy your sister.

LittleGreenDragons · 09/04/2024 12:37

I hate going due to a combo of bad memories there and not enjoying being around my sister since she became a mum.
Why go then? What or who is guilting you to do this, at financial cost, to go at all never mind four times a year. If it's to see your mum then maybe pay for her to visit you instead.

IncognitoUsername · 09/04/2024 12:33

I’d have an urgent work event/medical appointment and not be able to go. Send a present and don’t worry about it. Four times a year to another country sounds mad to me - I don’t see my brother that much and he’s in the same country. And we get on.