To wish I’d never had children?

I agree OP, most of life has been a struggle and the enjoyment is about 20%. Suffering is the main human condition. My dog is my reason to keep going, her happiness is inspiring.

In a large survey in Britain only 25% of people said they were happy. So most people are not happy, but you can still find fun and enjoyment.

I do think it's important to enjoy smaller stuff and try not to compare your life to others. I agree that most aspects of public services are sh*t right now - education, social care, justice, councils not to mention NHS but I don't think people are generally more unhappy and there's plenty of content from simple stuff like a good movie, settling with a book, having some fun with the kids and creating some nice memories. Having some dreams for the future...even if they're unrealistic it's an escape. Do you like anything creative? Bit of art or writing? Nice friends to have a natter with? Find happiness from within. If you fancy a good read that also enriches, read The Alchemist about a boy who pursues happiness by going in search of a treasure he dreamed of. It has some deep messages!

Oh well. Enjoy your misery with a side of judgement of others for our solipsism. I'm sure you will be richly rewarded (with more misery, because that tends to feed on itself) The rest of us stupid sheep will continue to make the best of things and look on the cheerful side. Good job we're too dumb to know how awful the world really is, unless of course we follow the enlightened example of WinterDeWinter and @ASongOfRiceAndPeas .

My own personal philosophy is that life is shit. There is always war, famine, people doing unspeakable things to each other.
But life is at the same time wonderful and joyous. Amazing natural sights, people who make us laugh, kindness from strangers, moments of sheer joy.
The secret is to try and maximise the joy amongst the shit.

I grew up in an industrial town in the eighties that was dying. Unemployment was sky high and all I kept hearing was that many of us teenagers would never work. It was all bollocks. Things change. Seventeen is still very young and life will change.

I absolutely agree with this.

If I'm honest, I think blithe cheer is a mark of stupidity solipsism or at least an inability to look up and see what's going on in the world.

Precisely.

If you think that way then you DO have deep seated depression. It isn't normal to think that 'life is shit' day in, day out, unless you are depressed. I find posters who try to talk the OP and others out of seeking help because they want to convince others of the reality of their worldview to be really toxic, if I'm honest. It is crab in a bucket behaviour.

No, thank you but I don’t feel that I do. I’m sensitive to what’s going on in the world, how the world has always been and as a result think life is shit. That’s it really. It doesn’t mean I don’t ever enjoy myself or have deep seated depression. I find replies like yours have an air of superiority about them that doesn’t sit well with me, but you’re entitled to your opinion.

You do sound depressed, OP.

You presumably live in the UK? You and your children are living life on easy mode. You're not at war, you're not facing famine or displacement.

It’s normal to have ups and downs but you just sound depressed OP, I would definitely speak to your GP.

Well said. Robbing children of hopes and dreams is so cruel and some adults seem to relish in negativity.

I don’t feel you’re depressed OP. You’re just a bit ground down atm with everything going on. I remember years ago having my dcs, who are now adults. Life seemed easier, kinder and ‘normal’. I just looked forward to what the future might hold for them. My daughter is expecting my first grandchild this year. I’m absolutely thrilled to bits. I really am. But there’s also a bit of sadness, because I’m so disillusioned with the world we live in currently. Everything is just so doom and gloom and the future so uncertain. I honestly think that my younger self, if around now, would think very carefully about bringing kids into the world.

The world keeps spinning indeed.

Probably because his mum also thinks this - if everyone in the family thinks he won't do much, he's not going to have the confidence to achieve anything.

At such a young age you have so much time, you could literally achieve anything, become a millionaire. When time is on your side you have so much opportunity. It's a shame when young people lack confidence and don't realise this

I agree with a lot of posts advising to see a GP.

IMO there are so many awful things to have experienced and seen as an adult, yet somehow in my view it’s great to find those personal happy moments away from everyone. For me, I love my DD so much it hurts, but I definitely look forward to have a coffee at the cafe after she is dropped off at daycare! It re-energises me and makes me happy to do something just for me and step away from the noise. Then back into the fray!

I do wonder if I knew what I know now would I have decided to have children. Maybe not. The pandemic, the wars, the NHS, the coat of living crisis…the world seems a much scarier place than it did.

And by “Bollocks” I mean, my life is fairly good now. I worked and work at it. “Found happiness.” But it still have to live with awful things that happened to me through no fault of my own.

So yes, it is luck. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Bollocks

I saw that thread and didn't add to it because I didn't have anything to write.

This.

speak to your doctor op, for the sake of your children if nothing else.

Absolutely. You’re also acquiring an asset, which hopefully will appreciate over time. An asset for you and your kids, if you have any. I expect that the majority of young people now will be renting for the rest of their lives, if they don’t get inheritances.

I find renting far more stressful than buying. The idea of being say 85 and still renting would fill me with horror. I encourage my kids to look at buying and rent as little as possible. Better to be struggling with mortgage than rent as at least there’s an end date to it and renting is just paying someone else’s mortgage anyway

@willWillSmithsmith

Exactly

You need to be able to see and capture the happy, joyful moments in life, regardless of how fleeting. There’s no such thing as happy ever after.