To not understand giving primary age kids TikTok?

Aside from anything else TikTok is ridiculously addictive. I'd definitely keep primary aged brains away from it.

The idea that it makes children better with tech and gives them a head start on their peers is foolish. These apps are designed to be used by everyone, including children. They’re not learning how to program or anything that will get them ahead in the future.

Older millennial here (almost Gen X, is it? Can’t keep up) and my 9yo will not be having a smartphone until as old as humanly possible and as for TikTok - NO. Same for Snapchat or any other SM. I'm aiming for 16 obviously like most parents but I'm a realist so I know that's probs wishful thinking! I will be homeschooling for secondary though so (hopefully 🤞🏻) means less peer pressure

What’s there to understand? Parents don’t want to parent and deal with the tantrum they’d get for saying no.

But they will be screeching at the school to sort out the problems caused under the guise of 'safeguarding', used to dump too much onto schools.

I'm at work at the moment, just finishing my lunch break, so only a quick reply, but I'm reading a really good book about SM use and young children/teens called The Anxious Generation (not actually about anxiety) by Johnathan Haight? (I think it's spelt like that). The research is mainly US based but references UK research as well and some of it is awful.

No Roblox or social media here either and so far our kids don't hate us! We explain our reasons and they (mostly) accept that.

I think a lot of parents are now getting together to ask schools to host talks like this. My feeling is that parents are the ones who need to push this, it's not something schools can take forward on their own. The Smartphone Free Childhood campaign has resources to help with this.

Although inappropriate videos are a concern it's not the only one. The short videos are terrible for developing concentration abilities in young brains, there's also the constant, short sharp dopamine hits which is also not good for their developing brains (it's not good for ours either but at least adult brains have had a chance to develop first).

My daughter is 10 and we watch TikTok together some nights for 10 mins in bed. What the heck are people doing to see such inappropriate videos? We only see videos of chihuahuas, people falling over and hurting themselves and dance routines. We have had swearing but she heard worse in the school playground!

Way too much research proving the detrimental effects of social media and access to smart phones for us to be persuaded by our kids to let them have it. There is a good reason the people who design and run these companies don't allow their own children to access them. We have already resigned ourselves to the fact that they will hate us as early teens when they're not allowed smart phones (or sleepovers for that matter) our kids are still early primary so I'm fingers crossed and hoping that more parents will be on board with not letting their kids have access to this stuff so ours are not the only ones left out. I cant understand why people allow children to use games like roblox either, kids are so vulnerable online. Each to their own and parents will all have our own rules and perspectives but it's not for us, to be fair me and husband don't have any of the fb, Snapchat,Instagram stuff Mumsnet is the only social media I use as I don't see what all the fuss is about with sm anyway. I'm interested in reading posts that let there kids have it to see the other perspective.

Hi, was that a talk organised by school for parents? Did many attend? I wish our school did that

It’s awful and I really am not prepared for the shit pre-teens face these days and what total dickheads their peers are and how to handle it all.

@YaMuvva that's the kind of crap kids are dealing with day in and day out it isn't fair.

I’ve not used it for a while as my dd hardly uses TikTok but my account is set to family share and hers is to teen so that I could keep an eye on her use. I was surprised at the comment re “for you” as the only way to see wanking on there would be to search it so TikTok would recommend it.

If it’s set to teenage there can be no messaging and others can’t view your profile. Plus my dd knows how to report someone and to come to me with any issues. I can reduce the risks but I can’t eliminate them all. However, I know way more about TikTok and what my child did on there than any of my friends. Hence why I’m not worried. I’m probably more concerned with Snapchat groups and messaging.

A lot of kids have them without permission and I don’t think parents check their phones properly. I have TikTok and on my feed popped up my friend’s DD! I was surprised she was allowed an account but said nothing until a few weeks later the subject was brought up and she had no idea when I told her and showed her!

Theres a girl in DD’s class (year 6) who is allowed a TikTok account and makes stupid passive aggressive videos where she mimes to songs and puts words on the screen like “When you realise your friends are a waste of space”. On one of them she mentioned by DD by name - this was after DD refused to be her friend because she’s a total dick. school can’t do anything about it so I told her to her face to stop making TikToks and grow up.

I'm hopeful that the tide is moving back to how it was for your DD. The parents in my younger child's friendship group are definitely a lot more aware and more concerned about smartphones, social media etc than the parents in my older daughter's group. I think the dangers are being highlighted more often in recent years and it's harder for people to ignore that.

Brick phone?

My DD is 8 years older than yours. From when she was in year 5 it was common for her and her peers to walk to and from school and play out and they had brick phones if they had anything. Smartphones were very rare.

Interesting to see the shift in not that many years.

This DS is on TikTok but it's on my phone not his and he only does it next to me. We allow Watsapp but his phone is set to no unknown numbers and I do check that only people in his chat history are known friends.

In year 6 he will start walking home alone etc so needs to be aware of the dangers. I would rather introduce things gradually than all at once. I'm only 33 if my parents said no I would find a way to get it anyway be it on an old iPhone or iPad they forgot we had. At 12 I was duel booting computers whilst my parents couldn't work windows properly!

I'm very much a okay we can try it under supervision vs him trying to get round my controls.

@fitzwilliamdarcy

As an infrequent user of tiktok I don’t want to see content from random 7 year olds, and I’d view any adult who does with suspicion.

I think you have pretty much summed it up right there! Its not a platform for kids made by kids. Lets face it if it was they would probably not be interested as it would be too 'babyish'.

The thing is the shit/moron parents is an easy answer but that’s genuinely not the case here. These are educated, thoughtful people and I just can’t get my head round the approach on this particular issue. But I can’t really ask them without sounding very judgemental!
Educated parents don't always have common sense.
Some also have a blind spot where they think that they're a naice educated family and the sort of negative impact of social media and children only happens to other families (usually poor families, dysfunctional families, 'broken' families, or any other descriptors of families that aren't naice like them). Some are also likely to assume that safeguarding issues and grooming don't happen to families like them because their children are sensible so would never access inappropriate content or misuse social media.

They're also not immune from doing things to make their lives easier. If their children are sitting on their phones, they're not demanding attention, don't have to be taken out places, parents can get on with things.

It’s parents wanting an easy life and not caring. They’re may be thoughtful and educated but they’re not using either ability on this issue.

As an infrequent user of tiktok I don’t want to see content from random 7 year olds, and I’d view any adult who does with suspicion.

Kids are drawn in by dances etc and parents don’t see the harm, influencers parade their children online and parents don’t see the harm, children have their own (lucrative) You Tube channels and parents don’t see the harm. Some parents see digital capability as a life skill, they forget children aren’t mini adults and don’t have the cognitive processes needed to navigate this stuff, they think their kids are more capable, more trustworthy and then get caught out.

@toastandtwo

It's called complacent parenting

their parents would soon regret it if it came back to bite them on the arse

Grooming and other types of nefarious behaviour ...

If you are doing this and your children are 14 Id say you are taking a very responsible approach as a parent. If they are 7 and 9 then you are just educating them on something they dont need to know about at such a young age and so is irresponsible. Whatever you think you can not stop them seeing something or being subject to something that is beyond your control.