Please tell me the truth about car seats…

I stopped quite early around 8 years old at most with my now 10 year old but well over height limit as way above average height. Keeping DC 2 in a high back booster as long as possible as very average height and a very wriggly child.

My almost 9 year old is approaching 135cm so will no longer be required to use one. He's in a HBB at the minute and as long as he fits as is happy to use it he can stay it in even once he's tall enough to not need one. He's fairly small for his age too so I know some of his friends no longer need to use one but he's quite slight so probably better for him.

His 6 year old brother is quickly catching up in height and is generally a sturdier build so I can imagine stopping using one sooner with him as long as it's legal.

NTFT so apologies if I’m repeating. I know lots of people who don’t stick to the rules around car safety for short journeys or on holidays, but I won’t risk it. Through work I have access to various information about crashes, and the safest place you can be in a crash is correctly positioned in your seat - which is where car seats place you if you are smaller than an adult (male). All the other safety features like crumple zones and airbags are designed to work alongside correct seat positioning and seat belts - for example airbags are timed to go off just after the seatbelt has contracted you back against your seat.

Seat belts have to sit on your hip bones and shoulder - if they are in the wrong place like across your tummy or neck, when they constrict in a crash, they can crush your soft tissue and organs. There are very sad fatal cases where children haven’t been wearing belts correctly (ie not in boosters).

I admit I’m a bit paranoid about it and even worry about my own seatbelt (I’m a shortish woman) in certain cars, but I won’t let my kids travel without a booster, ever, not even short journeys. We’ve got several portable boosters for ride sharing, including the rare occasions we get taxis.

So I guess I might be the extreme other end - but to me the alternative is unthinkable. Once my child reaches 135cm, I will see if the seatbelt fits properly without a booster - otherwise they’ll continue using one.

@Garman this 👏🏼

I think the whole attitude towards car seats needs to change to be honest. The laws currently in place in the UK are the bare minimum required in terms of safety. This does not mean it’s the safest way for a child to travel at each particular age, it’s the minimum requirement for that age.
Just because they “can”, doesn’t mean that they should 😬

A lot of my 7 year olds classmates dont use car seats, just hop in the front 😱. It affects my likelihood of saying they can have playdates with those families in case they drive with her.
My 10 year old is still in a hbb but we have the smaller ones for just under the bum if travelling with my 7 year olds friend.

It's pretty split for 10 year olds class, but I'd say vast majority are over 140cm by now so out of the official range. It's under bum only or none. My DD looks a tad embarrassed by the hbb but doesn't complain because she knows the reason. Said we would review the 5 step after a long driving holiday that we just got back from.

People don't care about car seats because they don't understand how high risk driving actually is. Because it's such a big part of our lives we get used to doing it and assume it's reasonably safe. In reality, driving is one of the most dangerous things we do.

I'll use a car seat for as long as possible for my kids. Even women are at higher risk of serious injuries in car collisions because of their generally smaller build, lower weight, different weight distribution. So a kid is even higher risk.

Most people I know are in a mad rush to get their kids out of car seats because they find them inconvenient. A friend was a bit pissed off as I wouldn't let their kid ride back in our car seated on their lap in the front seat!!

I recently had this discussion with my 8 year old as he is over 135cm, so I explained that's the minimum but the safest is to continue to use a HBB. We have quite "tall" cars seatbelt wise so I'm not happy that he passes the 5 point test yet. For 10 min journeys yes, but not habitually.

Also in Europe it is 150cm limit so I told him he's better waiting until 150cm, else he'll find it very weird using car seats on holiday!

My year 6 child is still in one (August born) I just assumed she'd need it until 12 as she is short for her age. But I did also buy the ones that go up to 150cm. I'll keep mine in then until the reach the limit of the seat or meet the 5 point criteria rather than the bare minimum height the UK advise. I don't trust their guidance as it is outdated for forward facing guidelines.

My GC 7&9 use booster cushions. On short journeys with family in the city center, were speeds don't go past 30 mph, if that, they'll just use seat belts.

My son is 9 and 150cm, and no longer uses a car seat. However, we had a great HBB with side impact protection, seatbelt pad and bigger adjustable range so I could keep using it until he passed the 5 step test. So he was in it past 135cm.

My 10yo hasn’t used one for at least 2 years, she’s taller than many adult women now. My 8yo uses one most but not all of the time as she’s a few cm above the limit, we haven’t got rid but don’t move it around the car any more if she’s sitting in the front. It’s a booster though she hasn’t used/fit in a high back for years.

Even if a child surpasses the height/weight law they are still very little compared to an adult. I’ve thought that in a serious accident a young child of 135cm would still possibly sustain serious injuries wearing nothing but a car seatbelt which are primarily designed for adults, as due to their much smaller size and weight, and more likely to be thrown around by the impact while still restrained. Could be an unfounded thought but we are keeping DS (138cm) in his car seat still, and he’s not bothered as he can see out the window better too.

Stand outside our school and you’ll see so many children who clearly haven’t hit 135cm who are not using any car seat whatsoever. Like a op said it’s either a race to prove maturity or ignorance.

A quick google of international laws on car seats will show other countries recommend children are using them until 145-150cm, which is worth keeping in mind if you are travelling with children who no longer need them here.

People don't care so much about safety unfortunately. A lot of kids won't pass the 5 step test at 135cm, so mine will use a high back booster probably until they reach 145-150cm. In the event of an accident, I'd rather they were as safe as they can be when I'm driving.

I’ve got titches but eldest who is nearly 7 (116cm) is still in a 5 point as it goes to 25kg and I have no intention of them even switching to seat belt at this stage.

@MaryShelley1818 kids are different sizes. My 7 year old is 110cm and there are two boys the same size as him in his year 2 class. My almost 10 year old is 128cm and she's not the smallest in year 5.

My children measured and marked 135cm on the wall, and used to check whether they had grown enough to not use a seat.

The average height of a 10 year old is about 138cm. Therefore no car seat.

There are always some smaller children who need car seats up until 12, but many, most will be tall enough at 10.

The more interesting thing is why do you feel strange about her no longer needing a seat?

Follow the law and not what other people do. Like a pp said, for some parents it’s a maturity competition and little thought has gone into common sense safety and the law.

DS(9) is 139cm and recently moved from HBB to a backless one with a seatbelt loop. He had outgrown both the height and weight limit on his HBB otherwise we would have kept him in it for the head protection. The new backless one’s seatbelt loop means that the seatbelt fits properly rather than cutting across the top of his neck, and he is not sitting so low down in our model of car so he can actually properly see out the window.

The worst car seat travesty I’ve ever seen was a baby of about 6-8 months old in a HBB, in the front seat. The baby girl was swaying backwards and forwards against the seatbelt in the car, motor running and half way out the gate of a children’s centre. The DM had stopped and was talking to one of the staff there, and then they waved goodbye and off she drove - wee baby flopping about. Absolutely appalling and if I’d had my time over I would have reported her to the police.

I have this in my kitchen for kids friends, so I know if they need to use a booster in my car!

Interested in the responses. My DC’s friend (a 6 year old boy on the shorter side, in Y1) doesn’t use car seats at all, the parents say they put him in the back seat with an adult belt. I just don’t get it!

DS1 is 9 and over 135cm. He still uses a high back booster. He's in y4 and I'd say most are probably under 135cm, but I don't do the school run so don't know what others do. He understands that he is safer in a car seat and doesn't mind. He went in my parents' car without one recently and said it wasn't as comfortable.

135cm or 12 years old is UK rules and a high back booster seat is better then just a booster cushion but that is better than nothing. You can get high back booster seat that go to 150cm.
It's about keeping the belt in the stronger part of the body and off the soft internal organs.

My daughter will likely still be in her rear facing car seat until age 7/8 as she is pretty small. Then will have a high back booster seat as long as possible. I'm in no rush to reduce her safety.

My eldest is 10 and average/small side height wise compared to her classmates. She is 135cm. She moans a lot that the HBB is uncomfortable. I still insist she use it for long motorway journeys but some smaller local journeys she doesn’t have to. I don’t know realistically how much additional protection a car seat offers but it still feels weird to me that she doesn’t need one legally

Many countries use a higher height than 135cm

There seems to have always been a lot of need for some parents to rush through the car seat stages. Ds is 14 and I remember when he was young for a lot of parents moving forward facing (at a very young age) was almost something to be proud of!

ds stayed on a booster until he was 150cm which was about age 12. He actually said he found it comfier up until then and the seat belt certainly sat better on him