Please tell me the truth about car seats…

Realistically you aren't going to get done for a short ten year old not in a car seat. So it doesn't matter unless you crash. A crash is unlikely. Therefore it depends on your attitude to risk. Lots of people prioritise convenience, saving money or their child's preference over the small risk of crashing. In most cases their child will be fine.

We had a isofix booster seat from DS being about 8 so he didn't look out of place amongst his friends. He was tall enough without by age 9 at the latest. I think it also depends what your drive (all round cameras self breaking SUV with full curtain airbags) vs a super mini C1 that can't even take a minor bump.

My daughter is 9 and 141cm tall. She is tall for her age. My SD is 11 and is 134cm tall!

So in our household my 9 year old doesn't have a car seat but my 11 year old does!

I always thought the lap belt is actually supposed to go across your hip bones, holding your pelvis into the seat rather than across thigs.

Althought its advised that pregnant 🤰 women put it across thigs under the bump to avoid it going across the bump.

I'm 5'6" and I've never yet sat in a car where the seat belt goes across my thighs like the picture.

They always cut across my neck too, unless it's a belt that is anchored to the shoulder of the seat rather than the pillar.

It’s a myth that European countries are stricter and safer about car seats. Some maybe but I’ve hired cars in France and Switzerland and never persuaded them to give us a car seat for my 140cm 9year old. They all say he’s too old. And my French family agree. I take our own booster now.

Your car seats job is to keep your child as safe as possible in the event of a crash. So choose the safest possible option. Lots of parents don't. But if you have a crash and your child is seriously injured, but would have been less so if they'd been in a better seat then how are you going to feel?

DS is just 3, outgrew his last cat seat so I put him in a front facing high back booster but it didn't feel safe enough so I've spent 250 quid on an extended rear facing one, takes up most of the footwell for the front passenger. And it may never do its job. But if we crashed, I know I've done the best I can to keep him safe. He will be in the erf until he outgrows it in 3-4 years, then a hbb until he outgrows that, then a booster until there's nothing else I can do to make him any safer.

So the answer is simple "it's safer" if people choose convenience over safety that's on them.

No law in UK about sitting in front either, other than babies rear facing must have the air bags switched off.

Lots of people have daft ideas about laws that they think exist but don't actually exist including children in not being allowed in front seats and being able to use interior rear view mirrors!

Bones are stronger, but the soft tissue isn't! I have a little clip (that I'm not convinced wouldnt' also cause damage) that holds the seatbelt down on my shoulder, but getting it onto my lap is all but impossible as I have to have the seat far enough forward to reach the pedals.

Cars are not designed for women at the shorter end of the height scale.

Improper use of this type of seat belt can also lead to soft tissue injuries and even small bowel perforation and rupture of solid organs (8, 9). While all of these injuries are caused by higher fastening of the safety belts, even with the proper use of seat belts crossing over neck can happen.

Well hopefully your bones are stronger than a child's so you should be ok.

I'm in Ireland and the was just checking online there for the laws and it says in the UK the child should be 135cm in height or 12 years old. In Ireland it's 150cm in height or if they weigh 36kg or until 12 years of age there is no law here against children sitting in the front seat of the car once the appropriate seats are provided

Of course, reading mary's image above, I should be in a booster seat myself (the seatbelt across the lap/shoulders particularly) - but then I wouldn't be able to reach the pedals!

My DS is 10, most of the kids in his class still use high back boosters, despite being 135cm plus tall.

I'd say by the time they get to 12, most of the kids aren't using them any more.

Currently DS isn't quite tall enough to go without a booster (higher limit where we are), which he's complaining about but it's the law, so he gets no choice in the matter - it is just a seat booster though, not high backed, as the shoulder bits wouldn't go up high enough for him any more (he's short legs/long body)

Within 5k from home all our roads are 20min speed limits which are far less likely to cause serious injury in crashes.

What others do is irrelevant.

Around 150cm is when a child is actually safe to sit in an adult seat using an adult seatbelt. It's got nothing to do with age. The seatbelt could cause serious damage to their neck/chest and stomach if they are too small.

My ds was 10 1/2 and to be honest 134cm in stocking feet not 135 when circumstances meant we stopped using his booster seat. I insisted till then even though none of his friends (all taller) needed one.

I think it also depends on the car - my dc are both just above the 135cm mark so don't require anything by law - they sit perfectly comfortably in the back of dhs car without a booster but definitely still need it in my car - for safety and comfort. In fact one is still holding on to their high back booster by choice

@NavyPeer digital privacy, you do realise that the whole country is covered in CCTV? We could be at the park and someone could take a picture of him in the background unknowingly and then post to social media.
There's no such thing as true digital privacy.

If she still fits in the seat correctly I'd carry on using it until she is too tall. This is what we've done with both of our boys. We figure it's safer in the booster for as long as possible.

Once mine got to 135cm they stopped using boosters. I measured them to check. My dd is 9 very nearly 10 and she's 140cm and I'd say mid range height in her class. At 10 I'd say most kids are over 135cm but not all, of course.

DD has just turned 12 and there's no way she would have fitted in a high back booster for a lot of years now. I can't remember exactly when we got rid of it but it was the point where her shoulders weren't fitting under the headrest part comfortably with it at max extended height. Think it was the lower end of junior school age and we were some of the last on the school run to be using them.

My kids are very tall though - easily top of the growth chart curves (I blame their father).

We have this at my DCs’ school! Glad it’s not just me. DC1 is literally just over 135cm and is one of the taller ones in his class (age 8) but most of his friends have been without car seats for well over a year.

I refuse to get rid of ours on safety grounds, especially as much of our driving is on high speed roads (appreciating the logic that most accidents happen within a short distance of home but I suspect the consequences of being without a seat would be even greater at higher speed). But my family think I’m weird as DC2 was RF to 4 (and would have been for longer if I could have got away with it).

Yes my kids use car seats up to 150cm thats usually age 12/13. The law may be 135cm or age 12 but safety is 150cm.

I'm not even that fussed about car seats. I know that the risk to child car passengers in the UK is absolutely tiny, even in suboptimal car seats (eg forward facing at 2, simple booster at 6).

But keeping my DC in their HBB until they literally grew out of them was so simple, and reduced that tiny risk to minuscule, so why wouldn't I?

Ironically, the only thing to make ds question why he still has a car seat (up to 36kg) was the car safety webinar at school trying to persuade the Y5/6s not to try to ditch car seats until the appropriate height.

He's quite happy with the explanation that it makes him safer, and he'll be in it until high school (over a year away) or weight limit reached, whichever comes first.

Definitely agree there's a bit of competition over "my child doesn't need that babyish thing anymore" (or there is where I live, anyway!) and I just don't get it.