Page 5 | Sex for rent

Hartley99 · 2024-04-08T22:16:12+00:00

I was just watching a documentary on the sex for rent scandal. Basically, landlords offer a room in exchange for sex. In most cases, the landlords are older men and the renters are young women. Apparently, it is common in places with large student populations - in other words, where there are lots of very young women who are struggling with debts/ loans. The whole thing really sickened me. A journalist (herself a young woman) secretly filmed a meeting with one of these landlords. She posed as a young student who had seen his ad and wanted to know more. It made my skin crawl. He was late 40s, and a repulsive, creepy little nerd who could hardly contain his excitement. But what sickened me the most was that not only did he not think he was doing anything wrong, he thought ^he ^was being generous! He seemed to think he was doing her a favour! That seemed to be the attitude of all these men. The other thing that got me was the comments below the video. I had naively expected people to write how vile it all was, how these men were taking advantage of the housing shortage, how they were targeting very young women, and so on. In fact, I read comment after comment (all by men) angrily defending the landlords! The general view seemed to be that it was a big fuss over nothing, that it was up to the women, and that if it was consensual it was OK and we should mind our own business. So many people were defending the landlords that I honestly began to doubt my own judgement. Is it wrong? Am I being over-sensitive and naive?

LlynTegid · 09/04/2024 18:05

@OnHerSolidFoundations animals is an unfair description, be considerate of animals and do not compare such men with them. It is minimising what such men do.

Ofcom are useless and I don't expect them to hurry up with guidelines or requirements to reduce the advertising of such a vile practice.

Notimeforaname · 09/04/2024 18:02

Yes its absolutely disgusting but if these women are contacting them, arranging meet ups, considering it and then acting on it, then it's a choice.

Workhardcryharder · 09/04/2024 18:01

cariadlet · 09/04/2024 14:32

@Workhardcryharder I used to think that legalising prostitution would make it safer for women who were forced into it but have looked into it more and now support the Nordic Model.

I've been to a couple of Nordic Model Now conferences and listened to survivors of legal prostitution talk about their experiences.

Women are still abused and traumatised. Legalisation just normalises prostitution so that far more men use women. The increased demand leads to increased trafficking.

It's worth checking out the Nordic Model Now website and also following them on Twitter/X.
Julie Bindel has also written extensively about the topic.

Yes you are probably right to be fair, exposure to women as a sexual object would normalise and desensitise.

Thats a good alternative perspective and has altered my view! Thank you

Disturbia81 · 09/04/2024 17:57

As long as men exist.. all the seedy things in life will continue, illegal or not. It's all about emptying their balls since the dawn of time. I fucking hate it.

Original poster

Hartley99 · 09/04/2024 17:19

cariadlet · 09/04/2024 06:01

It's absolutely disgusting.

I've been pretty sheltered for most of my life: my Dad was a good man, my dp is a decent bloke and I've always had male friends.
It's only the last few years that I've realised how shitty a lot of men are.

Scum like the men in the documentary even tried taking advantage of Ukrainian refugees. There were loads of them advertising spare rooms but making it clear that they were only interested in renting to young women.

Taking advantage of women fleeing war was a new low.

I thought I remembered reading about this at the time, so did a bit of Googling and am now fucking furious all over again! This is a quote from a news website regarding the invasion of Ukraine:

”There has been a surge of interest in Ukrainian women, with British men offering to host female refugees. Searches combining the words ‘escort’ and ‘rape’ with the words ‘Ukraine’, as well as ‘Ukraine refugee porn’ have risen in an alarming way according to the OCSE…One website offering advice for men seeking mail order brides claims that there has never been a better time to find a Ukrainian wife, citing the abundance of young women who have left Ukraine due to the war.”

So there are foreign bride dating sites that urge men to try their luck because “it’s the perfect opportunity.” How the fuck is that legal? They might as well write “are you old and ugly, with a horrible personality and no social skills? Bet you never thought you could get a beautiful young bride, did you? Well now’s your chance! There are loads of vulnerable, homeless young hotties fleeing Ukraine.”

And I bet the people who run the dating sites, and the men who use them, think they’re saving these women, just as the scumbag landlords who offer sex for rent to young students or homeless girls think they’re doing them a favour.

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VioletMoonGirl · 09/04/2024 15:53

Exploiting vulnerable people is not okay. I assume the majority of women “agreeing” to this are not wealthy or with many/any other options. It’s just predatory. And the attitude of “doing these women a favour” like some bloody saint just shows their disdain for the vulnerable women. Doing them a favour is giving them discount on the rent, or waiving it for a month or two if they lose their job or something. It’s not a favour if you are also benefitting, it’s a transaction.
I don’t walk into a shop, buy something and treat the shop worker like dirt because I’ve “done them a favour” with my custom.
These creeps just need to get in the bin.

cariadlet · 09/04/2024 15:39

Another2Cats · 09/04/2024 15:08

I don't know where you live but certainly in England, Wales & Scotland prostitution is (for the most part) totally legal - and taxed.

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Current UK Law:
The exchange of sexual services for money is legal in the UK (apart from in Northern Ireland where it's illegal to pay for sex).
But, these related activities are illegal under the Sexual Offences Act 2003:

soliciting (trying to get clients) on the street or other public place, including someone in a vehicle
paying for the services of a sex worker who's forced or threatened into it
owning or managing a brothel (any premises which is used by more than one person for sex work)
pimping (someone who has control over sex workers and the money they earn)
advertising sexual services, including putting cards in phone boxes

Advocates of decriminalisation want all aspects of prostitution to be legal including selling sex, buying sex, pimping and owning a brother.

Advocates of the Nordic Model want those exploiting women (including sex buyers and pimps) to be criminalised and prosecuted. The Nordic Model does not want those selling sex (mainly women and girls) to be criminalised. Instead, there should be proper support for those who want to escape prostitution.

Lavender14 · 09/04/2024 15:11

Its sexual exploitation and should be reported as such. I have worked with young women who experienced this. They were homeless, vulnerable, mentally unwell and I would say that any of those 3 rule out consent.

Another2Cats · 09/04/2024 15:08

NotThatWitty · 09/04/2024 14:46

@cariadlet - I had never heard of the Nordic model until your post. I will have a look/read into it, so thank you.

Women are still abused and traumatised. Legalisation just normalises prostitution so that far more men use women. The increased demand leads to increased trafficking.

Yes - I fear if prostitution were legalised, it wouldn't protect women and regulate the work. It would just allow more men to abuse more women, but more openly and in plain sight. If said men are ever then questioned on their actions, they would probably just throw a few laws about and claim ignorance, "Oh, but I thought this meant I was allowed to do XYZ."

I don't know where you live but certainly in England, Wales & Scotland prostitution is (for the most part) totally legal - and taxed.

SheepAndSword · 09/04/2024 14:59

This is reminding me of the profumo affair and Rachman.

OnHerSolidFoundations · 09/04/2024 14:57

cariadlet · 09/04/2024 06:01

It's absolutely disgusting.

I've been pretty sheltered for most of my life: my Dad was a good man, my dp is a decent bloke and I've always had male friends.
It's only the last few years that I've realised how shitty a lot of men are.

Scum like the men in the documentary even tried taking advantage of Ukrainian refugees. There were loads of them advertising spare rooms but making it clear that they were only interested in renting to young women.

Taking advantage of women fleeing war was a new low.

They are like fucking animals.

OnHerSolidFoundations · 09/04/2024 14:55

It's like modern slavery

SilverCatStripes · 09/04/2024 14:50

Blackcats7 · 09/04/2024 10:31

Yes I agree. Some idiots state that Only Fans empowers women. What utter shite.
Sex work is not a career, it is porn and prostitution. I am sick to the back teeth with sex being publicly displayed normalised and if anyone dares to question it they are a bigot.
I have every sympathy for those driven to it by desperate poverty but not a shred for those who apparently choose it as a way to make so called easy money. The harm that is done to women in general is enormous.
Thank you OP for telling us about this programme. I will be watching it today.

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100 percent agree.

We need to stop normalising ‘sex work is work’. It is not.

Maddy70 · 09/04/2024 14:47

Im on the fence ... its exploitative for sure ... (i haven't seen the documentary)

But...
If its made very clear at the outset that its a "deal" and they aren't coerced into believing it's a relationship etc. Then it's no different from finding someone on sugardaddy.com

As long as all parties are in agreement at the outset then I'm ambivalent

NotThatWitty · 09/04/2024 14:46

@cariadlet - I had never heard of the Nordic model until your post. I will have a look/read into it, so thank you.

Women are still abused and traumatised. Legalisation just normalises prostitution so that far more men use women. The increased demand leads to increased trafficking.

Yes - I fear if prostitution were legalised, it wouldn't protect women and regulate the work. It would just allow more men to abuse more women, but more openly and in plain sight. If said men are ever then questioned on their actions, they would probably just throw a few laws about and claim ignorance, "Oh, but I thought this meant I was allowed to do XYZ."

cariadlet · 09/04/2024 14:32

@Workhardcryharder I used to think that legalising prostitution would make it safer for women who were forced into it but have looked into it more and now support the Nordic Model.

I've been to a couple of Nordic Model Now conferences and listened to survivors of legal prostitution talk about their experiences.

Women are still abused and traumatised. Legalisation just normalises prostitution so that far more men use women. The increased demand leads to increased trafficking.

It's worth checking out the Nordic Model Now website and also following them on Twitter/X.
Julie Bindel has also written extensively about the topic.

LMMuffet · 09/04/2024 14:30

Workhardcryharder · 09/04/2024 14:20

The theory is though, making it a criminal offence drives it EVEN MORE underground, which means even more human trafficking.

IMO prostitution should be licensed and legal, making illegal prostitution less lucrative. Yes it’s seedy as hell, but better than high numbers of poor women ending up as sex slaves.

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While that is a theory which seems to make sense on the face of it (and indeed was my view until I read more about it), the evidence from countries in which prostitution has been legalised is that trafficking and pimping actually increases.

Original poster

Hartley99 · 09/04/2024 14:27

2024istheyearforme · 09/04/2024 13:09

The biggest reason I think these people are disgusting is because …. How on earth can you feel ok about yourself when you have had sex with someone who doesn't actually want to have sex with you … that's how you know they are not good people because that's gross, Its why i have no problem with prostitutes but i have a problem with the people who use them because how does it not gross them out , My husband cant even get a hard on if I'm not in the mood because he can tell I'm just not into it and so it doesn't turn him on.

Exactly my thoughts. I often think that about men who marry mail order brides. If you are 58, obese and ugly, how can you marry a pretty 25-year-old Thai or Russian girl and not feel disgusted with yourself? There is no real intimacy, no affection, no mutual interests, nothing. Perhaps in some cases it grows, but it’s not going to be there at the start. Christ, in many cases they can’t even understand one another. And those men must sense the contempt and disgust these women feel for them. Yet they can still get turned on each night, still go out for meals with her, go shopping with her, and behave as if they’re genuinely in love.

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Rewis · 09/04/2024 14:23

I remember in 2009 when i was looking for a flat when my studies were about to start. I was surprised by the amount of the public ads. I guess I should give them credit for being honest at least. On reputable rental sites. I do know one of my friends who had an "looking for a flat" ad and got a few creeps offering accommodation for sex. Again very honestly. To me it shows how common it is so there is no need to trick anyone.

Original poster

Hartley99 · 09/04/2024 14:20

ItsRalf · 09/04/2024 11:13

My landlord tried this with me. I reported it. He gave me a section 21 afterwards. The council was well aware of what he did and yep, I'm still in this property with a god awful landlord who I don't feel safe around. I've tried private properties and I'm struggling to get anywhere. So I have to stay here with this disgusting man. I've paid for repairs to this property as he won't get tradesmen in, he just wants to do them himself. I don't trust him near me or my two daughters who are both teenagers.

The thing is, nobody cares. The police didn't care, the council didn't care. You just have to get on with it until you find another place to live.

God, I’m so sorry. What an absolute piece of shit. The fact that you have teenage daughters is so upsetting. I hope things work out for you and you get them away from him, I really do. I also hope he steps out in front of a bus.

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Workhardcryharder · 09/04/2024 14:20

LMMuffet · 09/04/2024 09:52

I agree it’s disgusting. Though worth pointing out that it’s basically the same as prostitution given that many/most prostituted women will be using money from prostitution to cover their rent. They wouldn’t be doing it unless they had bills to pay. So if anyone is (rightly IMO) appalled by sex for rent and agree that it should be a criminal offence, you should also be appalled by prostitution in general and call for all men who pay for sex to be criminalised (i.e. support the Nordic model). They too are exploiting poorer women.

The theory is though, making it a criminal offence drives it EVEN MORE underground, which means even more human trafficking.

IMO prostitution should be licensed and legal, making illegal prostitution less lucrative. Yes it’s seedy as hell, but better than high numbers of poor women ending up as sex slaves.

Original poster

Hartley99 · 09/04/2024 14:10

Curlyblondefemale · 09/04/2024 13:39

I had a landlord years ago who come round to talk about the £300 rent arrears I was in, thought we'd come up with a payment plan but he had other ideas, tried to stick his tongue down my throat and basically offered cheap rent in exchange for sex. I was 23 and he was 84! Grubby little pervert.

Oh God, 83!! That’s just unbelievable. I remember watching one of those hunter videos (you know, where vigilantes confront a man who’s been grooming an underage girl). They caught a guy who was in his 70s and had been to prison years before for sexually abusing his daughter. And there he was, with white hair and a walking stick, waiting outside a train station for a 14-year-old child.

My niece is going to university this year to train in nursing. She’s such a sweet girl - gentle, kind, etc. She’s also very pretty. And she’s got the freshness of youth. You know, the sense of excitement and hope that is quickly ground out of the rest of us lol. The thought of her being exploited by one of these scumbag landlords turns my blood cold.

I often wonder what secrets a lot of men are hiding. How many of the men we work with, or meet at family weddings, etc, have a secret life? How many of them abused a stepdaughter 30 years ago? Or secretly hoard child pornography? Or have offered sex for rent to a vulnerable girl? If I were to list all the men I know, from cousins to neighbours to work colleagues, I could quickly divide them into those I’d trust and those I wouldn’t. It’s strange how easy it is to sense when a man is sinister or predatory. I have a 60-year-old neighbour, for example, who makes my skin crawl. He has never done or said anything to make me suspicious, but I get such a bad vibe off of him.

OP posts:

Curlyblondefemale · 09/04/2024 13:39

I had a landlord years ago who come round to talk about the £300 rent arrears I was in, thought we'd come up with a payment plan but he had other ideas, tried to stick his tongue down my throat and basically offered cheap rent in exchange for sex. I was 23 and he was 84! Grubby little pervert.

RazzberryGem · 09/04/2024 13:33

Really vile step in the wrong direction.

Imagine if that was your daughter, you know?

Augustus40 · 09/04/2024 13:29

I know Craigslist banned rooms in exchange for sex ads on their site. They also stopped all lonely hearts ads. Presumably because rooms for sex ads were deemed illegal.

They still get a few ads creep through but there is a report button.